rough lovin baby

2009-12-20T20:46:00.001+08:00

So, hello.

No, I didn't die. (:

I just don't see the point in going on and on about the mundane details of my daily life.

Go live your own lives, and stop living vicariously, losers. :D

2009-07-18T13:50:00.002+08:00

Hiiiiiiiiii.

Didn't realize I've been neglecting this damn thing for so long already.
Honestly, I can't be fucked to update yall on every little detail, and it's highly unlikely that it's going to happen. EVER.
Hahaha.

Worked things out with Mum, and we both have an understanding now. (:
Yes, I'm back home.

Heading out in abit for Farouq's surprise thingiemajig. Yaaaaaay !

p/s : Once again, you've proven to be even more pathetic that I thought possible. Get the fuck over yourself. (:

2009-07-03T15:55:00.002+08:00

I had a kickass time lastnight.
After strutting my stuff on the catwalk, we partied all night long.
I won't elaborate anymore, as doing so would not do it justification.

2009-06-30T13:11:00.002+08:00

Listening to the amazing tracks composed by the amazing boy who calls me Killa.
Mad love, cutie. (:

2009-06-18T14:26:00.002+08:00

So, I'm finally gonna sit my ass down, and update yall on the few weeks.
Be happy that my procrastinating tendencies haven't kicked in, or I'll be doing something more productive, like sleeping. Which I am seriously lacking.

06 / 06 / 09.
Headed over to Frans place cos I got sick of shit at home. She wasn't there, and neither were her olds, so Mike and Ryan had the whole house to themselves, and it was a total bachelor mess. Farah, Shannya and Reuben came over, so we all bummed alil before Ryans friend, Hady came. Got dressed and headed over to KL. Ended up sitting at the side of the road, knocking back a few beers and wondering where we could get come hugeass cardboard boxes.
Chilled at MCircle till 1ish, just partying it up. Khal and Khiara came, and I swear to god, Khia's just gorgeous. Sped off to Skybar to see Pasha and Yumi, cos he was leaving for Iran the next day. Had a few drinks before heading back to MCircle, cos Skybar was just too chilled for my liking.
Headed back to Frans at around 2.30, took a shower and jumped into a cab to Pasha's place.

07 / 06 / 09.
Slept for an equivalence of two hours, and did nothing productive all day long. Spent the day watching Family Guy in my oversized tees.

08 / 06 / 09.
Slept for a few hours only to wake up to a note from Fran telling me to keep my evening free as I was to follow her to meet some chick. Headed back to L3 to grab some stuff, and then had dinner at McD's in Mont Kiara. Met up with Charmaine and Andrew, before hopping into the car and going back to the house.
Bummed and talked for abit, then Fran and Ryan went to see Angelo.
Dropped Andrew and Charmaine back home, and on the way over, I realised I had forgotten to put on shoes. It was hilarious, I swear.
Barely slept the entire night, cos we kept coming up with such stupid shit, and laughing ourselves into conciousness.

09 / 06 / 09.
Chilled out all day, and then headed to see Charmaine, Charline and Andrew. Bummed around Mont Kiara before heading to Hartamas. Sat at Square and had a waffles drowned in chocolate syrup, bananas, nuts, ice cream and cookies. Bloody orgasms all over the place. Bumped into Adieb and James before leaving. Charline had left, but her brother wouldn't stop calling Charmaine's phone, so I made the biiiig mistake of picking up;
Me. Charline's brother.
"Um, hello ?"
"*screams in french*"
"Scuse me, it's not -"
"*screams summore in french*"
"OI MAN, it's not Charline ! She's already gone to meet up with you aite ?"
"Oh, er, then who am I speaking with ?"
"Manda, pleasure to meet you."
"I'm gonna kill her."
"Don't do that. Who would you yell at in french ?"
"Oh, I'm gonna skin her, make a jacket out of her, and sell her in Thailand."
"Mm, how attractive."

Shudda seen Frans and Charmaines faces. Met her dad, then headed over to her apartment. Played on the swings, and we oulled a spidermonkey !

10 / 06 / 09.
Slept the whole day through, cos I knew I'd be needing the energy for that night.
Headed to KL at 8ish, and met up with Mon and all for their birthday thingie. Had no bloody idea where I was, so asked Sarah to come get me, as I was getting the rape vibe from everything with a penis. Ran into their arms before heading to this dinky place at the side of the road to shisha.
It was really good catching up with all of them, Sam, Scott, Kieran, Riley, John, some Korean kid, Sarah, Mon, Lyza, Lizzie, Alice and Afzaa, eventhough they were almost completely wasted already.
Headed to Saylon Bar (or whatever it's called) and drank ourselves stupid. Scott and Lyza kept buying me shots, and I swear, I lost count at 5.
After tickling some tonsils, and flashing all of em my stripped undies, I was dared to make out with 3 different people, only ONE of them had a penis.
Stumbled into Cloth & Clef, already completely wasted, and immediately spotted Kraft. Said my hellos to familiar faces and went to find Pixie. Bumped into Zaid, Farid, Adam and so many other people on the way over, and it was so good seeing SuperWeed after almost a year !
Had a beer with Pixie while waiting for me VS.
Them boys freestyles crazy skilled, no joke. I was well impressed. Had a few more drinks before heading over to a friends place.

11 / 06 / 09.
Reached the house at around 3, and slept the afternoon away. Figured it was a good idea to regain some energy after all my funruns.

12 / 06 / 09.
Slept at 3.15am, only to be rudely awoken 15minutes later to get into the shower so we could go to Pudu to pick up Ryans friend, Travis.
Reached Pudu at 4summin, and bummed around like degenerates for almost an hour while waiting for his bus to arrive.
Walked around looking for him, only to get the shock of our lives when he jumped over the barrier and screamed, "Hey !"
Was a lil stunned when I first set eyes on him, cos he was nothing like what I expected him to be.
Recovered enough to go to a nearby mamak and have some goood ol Milo Panas and Winstons.
Talked for awhile before jumping into a cab, and I swear, his gorgeous southern accent is to die for, and he actually says, "Ohmygoodness." I had to stop myself from smiling so much, cos it actually was starting to hurt my face. He was very amused by my Batman tee, so to tickle him abit, I did the actions too. While sitting down at the mamak, there was this ridiculously annoying guy, playing his stupid fucking guitar and his stupid fucking harmonica. I swear to god, nobody should live with such torture.
Jumped into a cab, and headed back to Frans place.
Booked him a room at the Hilton PJ, and jumped into a cab over there. Had to sit in the lobby for almost half an hour, being bullied by him cos there were some technical difficulties with his reservation.
Finally got to the room, and collapsed on the bed. I swear to god, it was so comfy, I almost died on the spot.
After freshening up, Fran dropped us off at the LRT station, and off we went to KLCC.
I was supposed to be his tourguide, but it was as much as an adventure for him as it was for me, seeing as I didn't know what the hell I was doing the entire time on the train.
Got to KLCC in one piece, and walked around aimlessly before heading outside to the fountain. After taking about a million pictures, he decided it was time to do some serious shopping.
Being around such a goodlooking guy, if looks could kill, I'd be deader than a dead person.
Headed into Isetan to get him some cologne, and after being drowned in about 600 different scents, we narrowed it down to two; Ferrari and Davidoff.
Decided on the Davidoff because I don't think it'll ever smell better on anyone.
Oh, did the trannies enjoy that boys presence. His reaction was so adorable, I couldn't help but laugh the entire time.
After getting a pair of flipflops with bottle openers on the sole(!) , and getting a niiice tub of Nutella cos he'd never experienced the wonders of Nutella, we hopped onto the train in hopes of getting to Aloha in time for happy hour.
Decided against it after seeing the jam along the whole stretch, and headed back to the hotel.
Stopped at a nearby mamak, and introduced him to Roti Bom. I can't even begin to tell you how much he loved that diabetes inducing thing.
Walked back to the hotel and chilled. Fran picked me up, and then we headed to see her girl.
Chilled at her place for awhile, thinking that Luqman was coming to get me to head over to MCircle.
Half an hour of waiting later, the bastard texts saying that he made other plans. Was fucking fuming, and vowed never to make plans with him again.
Ryan had already left, and everybody else was already leaving, so I got Rubesh to walk me to OldTown to meet up with the boys at some dinky bar. Sat around, having a few drinks while listening to music that made me miss guitarandharmonicaguy, and that's saying something.
Got a few beers and headed back to the hotel. Talked and laughed, and got shoved into the buttcrack of the two beds countless times, so much so, I just decided to stay in the middle.
I decided it was high time to crack out the Nutella and show Travis what he'd been missing all these years. Loaded a spoonful of Nutella into his mouth, and the look on his face was priceless.
But after minutes of munching on nothing but that, it escaladed into a fucking Nutella fight.
I just threw Nutella at everybody, and after 10minutes, the whole room was covered in chocolate. Ryan actually dragged me by the neck into the bathroom. The beds, the floor, the walls, the bathroom, EVERYTHING was just covered in Nutella.
Filled up the tub and hopped in. Ended up completely crashing at the hotel.

13 / 06 / 09.
Woke up at the buttcrack of dawn, and headed to State for brekkie.
Had a nice chilled out day, cos Fran and Ryan were both sick.
Bummed around the house abit, before getting dressed, and picking Travis up.
Piled into the car, and headed into KL. Walked to a mamak nearby and had some dindin. I made Travis eat Cheese Naan. That's right, rub your tummies, mafakkas.
Ryan tried to get him to order 'Nasi Goreng Pepek.'
Fran and I almost died fucking laughing.
Made our way to Starhill afterwards, for the grand launching of Supafly. We were also on the guestlist for MOS, so we had to leave by 11.
Khal was there too, and kept tryna get my attention but I kept acting like he wasn't there.
Finally got in 40minutes late, and had a few drinks. Booty shook for a lil while before sending the boys off to MOS, decided to head back to MCircle, and it was Justins and Satishs big event, and I figured I owed it to them after all they did for me.
Got stuck in such a bad mafakking jam, and only made it back to MCircle at around 1. Partied my ass off, and booty shook with everybody.
I was taking a breather behind the console with Satish and Kraft when this chick tries to chat me up;
Me. Chick. Satish.
"Hey girl. I saw you on the flo, I swear, you are so fucking hot. *puts hand on my waist. Where you from ?"
"I'm local, babe."
"Scuse me, please step out of the DJ console before security is forced to remove you."
"Why ? She's in here."
"First of all, she's the muthafucken VIP. Secondly, she allllways get the party started, not you. So get the fuck out."

I had to stop myself from laughing, but I did promise her a booty shake after.
Partied with my bwoys till it was time to close up, we then proceeded to have our own lil party.
Them bwoys popped the champagne and popped out the brownies.
Headed out at 4.30ish, and hopped into the car towards the Hilton.
Had a good long talk with my boy on the way over, so much so, we overshot the turning and ended up at Sunway. Sat in the hotel carpark and talked some more before I decided to head upstairs. Threw my arms around my boy, and gave him the manja-est hug I could muster, which made him pull back after he had his fill and say,
"I don't care what they say about you, or what's with the whole big girl front, but underneath all that, yous a lovey dovey mothafucka. I fucken love that."

Said our goodnights, and made my way to 620.
I don't know how much I drank, or if someone slipped me summin, cos I felt really terrible after. Maybe it was just my body telling me I needed some rest. I kept stumbling all over the place, and Travis had to look after me. Fucken passed out 20minutes later.

14 / 06 / 09.
Got Fran to send me to L3 at 10ish, and got ready for Baby Jaeme's baptism. Kept falling asleep throughout mass. Headed to JayaOne after for lunch. Was fucken ravenous, but couldn't bring myself to eat anything. Had to force some food down my throat to please Daddy.
Needed a ciggie really bad, and walked around tryna find a 7E. Instead, I stumbled onto this reptile thingie, where I fell inlove with the pythons. Couldn't help myself, so I picked a Albino up, and wrapped it around myself.
Yalls have no idea how much I wanted to take that home.
Reached L3 at 5ish, and bummed around at home for awhile.
Got a text from all three of my favourite people at once, asking me to get ready so I could go to Bangsar to have a swim with them.
No more than 20minutes later, I was sitting in the backseat of Frans car, with the biggest smile on my face.
Halfway through, the window got stuck, AGAIN. Travis tried to fix it, but ended up pulling the whole damn thing out of the car door.
Got to Yumi's apartment, and headed straight for the pool, which was fucken freezing. For such a nice place, it's got a pretty shitty pool. The minute I stepped out of the water, my lips turned blue. I'm not kidding. Them three wouldn't stop laughing at me, so I'm gonna blame my pneumonia on them.
Had some goood mee goreng at the nearby mamak, and ordered Travis a coconut.
I had so much fun, scraping the flesh out of the coconut and everything, and we sang that song,
"You put the lime in the coconut, you drink it all up.. blablabla."
We actually did put a lime in the coconut, and it tasted so gooood.
Reached L3 at 3ish, and crashed.

15 / 06 / 09.
Dragged my zombie ass out of bed for the first day of school in 3weeks for me. I was so exhausted, I could barely function properly. Slept through the first 5periods, and woke up feeling so much better.
Got home and bummed, turning down all offers to go out.
Travis wanted to spend some time with me before he went to Singapore, so he came over at 8ish.
Sat by the pool till 3am, just talking about our childhoods, and how it was for us growing up in such different places.
I swear, that boy has the most beautiful eyes, and the most gorgeous accent. I just wanna sit somewhere with him, stare into his eyes and listen to him talk, even if it is jbberish. Makes me smile even thinking about it.
Telling him about all the turbulence at L3 made me feel so out of character, but I loved it, with his arms around me and soft kisses every few seconds. Suddenly, he picks me up and steps into the pool. We then proceeded to hijakc the mens bathroom.
Called a cab at 3ish, and went back with a huge grin on my face.

16 / 06 / 09.
Couldn't fucking wake up, so ended up sleeping in till 1summin. Fran calls 20minutes later, and tells me to get dressed. Hopped into the car, and headed to the nearby carwash. After we finished doing up the car, we headed to her campus to grab a bite.
She dropped me off at the LRT station, and I headed all the way to the bus terminal, and sat at the nearby mamak, waiting for Ryan and Travis.
Yup, I actually took the train all the way to Pudu, to see Travis for 10minutes before he headed off to Singapore.
Walked back to the LRT station with Ryan and headed back to my place.
Sat by the pool till 10ish, and had to stifle my giggles when Aunty Siti kept hitting on him.
Crashed at 11.

17 / 06 / 09.
Was supposed to get some cash from my trustfund, but Father refused to give it to me.
Ended up in a screaming match in the car, outside of school. I was literally fucking shaking with rage, that I couldn't breathe proper. The urge to smash his head into the window was overwhelming, but I kept myself calm till I got back to L3.
Talked to Ma, got my money and split. I couldn't stand being in the same vicinity as him any longer.
Needed a way to calm me down, so I walked all the way to the federal highway and flagged a cab to Frans place.
Had the hardest time waking Michael up, cos both Ryan and I wanted some icekacang and cendol. Mmm, tickle my tastebuds.
Got home, and helped to paint the house. Fran came home, and off we went to pick Charz up for dindins at Hartamas. Wolfed down my teppanyaki as I was starving, result of not eating a full meal for over two days.
Had a meeting with Satish about a job for Ryan, and a job for me. So we were in Subang by 9.30. Chilled at the studio with Satish and Alvin.
Reached L3 at 12ish, and crashed.

.. so there you have it.
My god knows how many days worth of updates. I'm honestly sure this won't be the end of it, as I've got a full weekend ahead.

p / s: I don't want you to leave, cos you're not exactly a train or busride away.
I don't wanna like you, cos you'll be gone before the month is over.
When I'm with you, I'm so happy.
When you hold my hand, or kiss my forehead, it makes me wanna go everywhere and anywhere with you.

2009-06-14T20:10:00.002+08:00

Home.
And my chest hurts so bad, cos honestly, the loneliness is starting to seep in like crazy.
I want to disappear.

2009-06-10T12:20:00.002+08:00

Still at Frans.
It's highly unlikely I'll be staying at my place for the rest of the week, just been running home every now and again to grab some shit.
Partyin it up, massive.
Hopefully I'll catch you kids around KL or summin tonight.
Hoping to catch my boys tonight. (;

I am now gonna go grab me some bacooooooooon.

2009-06-08T10:23:00.003+08:00

Been chilling with Mike and Ryan for the past three days, and I have just woken up from a good long overdue nights rest. :D

I highly doubt I'll be going home today, but when I do, expect updates about my kickass nights. :D
Kraft is hotstuff, I'd tap that fo sho.

Manda, out !

2009-06-05T13:27:00.004+08:00

It feels weird coming home so early, man.

04 / 06 / 09.
Hadn't planned on staying home as Chello was going to PD, and yalls know home is the last place I wanna be, right ?
Stuffed my shit into my happybacky, hopped into the car with Fran at 11, and sped off to Pyramid.
Had teppanyaki for lunch, which left my tummy very happy, though buncet.
Realised we hadn't made any plans whatsoever, so we decided to head over to Inked, which has become like a halfwayhouse for us. I tell you, I'm there so much that I know where everything is.
Can you imagine, Fran and I sitting there from 1 till almost 8.
Yea, we cleaned the place up, and made friends with everybody who came in.
I tell you, Louis is a funny mafakka.
Bummed around for abit, and then decided to call it a day after going all around Asian Avenue looking for dildos. Yea, we actually did that. It was honestly quite hilarious.
Headed back to Fran's place, thinking that Justin and Satish would be picking me up from there. Justin had a lastminute cancellation, so my plans got fucked too.
Saravanan called, asking to go out for a few drinks.
He picked me up, and we headed off to the Cobra Club.
Had waaaay too fucking much to drink, and it didn't help that the rugby players kept the drinks coming.
Got him to drop me off at Caprices place, again.
Syahid, Epy, Painadol, Zaid and some other dude was there.
And guess who else ?
RABIA, mafakka. Was totally surprised to see her, and swept her into a biiiig hug.
Ended up just chilling at the studio, and yalls know I donned the boxers again. (;

05 / 06 / 09.
Ended up not sleeping the whole night, yet again. My sleep routine is so fucked up, it's not even funny.
Decided to be useless, and did some cleaning. And then I took a freakishly cold shower. I'm more than likely to get pneumonia now.
Went to the nearby mamak to get us some breakfast, and then packed up.
Called Fran and asked her to come get me, and was home by 1.30.

Was talking to VS online, and she was hungry for some Hor Fun. :D
She and Lyn picked me up, and we were at OldTownWhiteCoffee by 2.30. Talked for abit, and then came back to my place for a swim.
Fuck, I love spending time with my girls. (:
Planning on heading over to Inked to get VS's tattoo retouched sometime soon.
I think I spend too much time there.

Was supposed to go for this church thingamabob, but I got too lazy.
And guess who just called me ?
Father Simon.
I tell you, I got the shock of my mafakking life.

I currently have no plans.
I'm waiting for Justin to get back to me.
I dislike waiting with a fucking passion.

2009-06-03T13:29:00.000+08:00

I had a very good wake up call this morning.

Woke up to Sa banging on my door with evertyhing she had in here. Rolled out of bed all grumpy, only to find my stupid white boy standing out there, with the most awkward look on his face.
Gave his the stinkiest face I have, and crawled under the covers.
Had a few ciggies and caught up, before heading over to MidValley to pay my phone bill.
Finally managed to get some cash off Mother, but blew it all on two months worth of calls and texts.
Yea, so I'm broke again. Joy unbounded.
Walked around for a little while, before getting a booth at Italiannies and having a few beers.
I know, we're such alcoholics, drinking at 11am.
Hopped into a cab at 12ish, and came back to my place.
The boy had a History paper, and claimed he was too lazy to go.
Forced him into a cab, and saw him off. (:

Was supposed to head over to Inked later today, but I can't be fucked, cos I'm waiting for Chello :D:D:D:D:D.

2009-06-02T15:15:00.005+08:00

Despite all the shit I'm going through, I'm one helluva happy kid.

31 / 05 / 09.
Ma's at Kuantan, so I had the whole apartment to myself.
Walked out after yet another tiff with Mother, and locked myself at Ma's for the whole afternoon.
Was talking to Caprice, and he asked me to head over to his office to keep him company, and to stayover. Called Justin and asked him to send me there.
Had to sit at the fucking mamak for two and a half hours, cos he was in a meeting and I technically don't have a home.
Bummed with the boys at the mamak till 1ish, and then hopped into the car with Justin.
The ride over was funny, and long. Talked about the most random shit, and went around in circles a million times before we realised we had driven by the office 6 TIMES.
Said my goodbyes to Justin and headed upstairs.
Sat around, and met some of his boys; Shah, Syahid, Po & Zaid.
Headed uptown and walked around cos Syahid needed shorts. Twas pretty fucken awesome being out with em cos I felt well looked after. *bigcheesygrin.
They had this hugeass iguana, snakes and all this weird shit on sale, which is pretty fucken coo, if you ask me.
The boys wanted to bum at Rasta, but being 3am and all, it was closed, so we headed over to Hartamas.
Got back to the studio at 4ish, and had a few drinks. Shah is helluva funny. He asks the weirdest questions, and does the strangest things.
Syahid, not knowing any better, shut the glass door. Turns out, the door's broke and can't be opened. Spent about a half hour tryna get the damn thing to open, and finally gave up cos it was obvious that nothing was gonna work.
Threw on my boxers and my oversized shirt, and did my happy boxer dance.
Had way too much sugar (and alcohol) running through my veins, so I was hopping around like I was on a fucking trampoline or something.

Random conversations throughout the night;
Shah. Syahid. Caprice. Me. Po. Zaid.
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know."
"Is okeh. Relaxx. Is okehhhhh."
"*turns around, about to tell Shah to shut the fuck up.*"
"*lies flat on his face, and wiggles around like a fish.*"

"*crawls under table.*"
"Shah, ko buat ape doeh ?"
"Aku tengah tido ni."
"Takle tido sane la."
"Go away ! This is my home !"

"Weyh, ape name die ?"
"Sarah Amanda Mcmachon."
"Jangan tipu aku laaa, tak lawak."
"Sape tipu ngko ?"
"Oh, ye ke ? Okay, *turns to me. Sarah.. ape aku nak tanye eh ?"

"*sits at his computer.* Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck."

"What race are you ?"
"Eurasian."
"Ape ?"
"Serani la bodo."
"HUH ? Nasrani ?!"

"Weyh, nape Po tido dalam tandas doeh ?!"
"Aku ade kat sini la bodo."
"Ye la ! Tu tandas weyh !"
"Ni soundroom la."
"Jap, I nak kencing. *unzips pants in soundroom.*"
"Weyh weyh weyh ! Bodo, tu soundroom la !"

I can barely remember half the things we did, I think cos my brain's just too goddamn exhausted. I just remember falling asleep on the floor at 9ish, and waking up at around 10. Yes, in the morning.

01 / 06 / 09.
Had lunch at a nearby mamak, whilst Caprice went to meet up with his brother.
Headed over to some chick's place cos Caprice had to finish shooting his viddy, so we sat around, waiting in the car.
The boys wanted to watch a movie after the shoot, so we headed to the Curve and got tickets for Terminator.
Chilled at the pool/karaoke place, pleased to see Nehnette and her daddy there. Talked to my gaybuddy whilst the boys karaoked. I tell you, there was this dude in one of the cubicles, who sang like he was being raped. I couldn't help myself from laughing, and almost wet my pants.

Got our munchies and settled into our seats. The movie was pretty fucken awesome, eventhough Arnold Schwarzenegger scares the living shit outta me. Kept almost jumping outta my chair, cos I kept freaking out. Ended up burying my face in Caprice's hoodie.
Could barely walk after, result of sitting in a fetal position throughout the whole movie. Walked around the Curve for a little while, and then headed to Ikea cos the boys wanted hotdogs. Couldn't help but smile, remembering how I practically used to live in Ikea when we first moved to Pantai cos we were there so much.
Headed to Rasta cos they boys wanted to eat AGAIN. Throughout the whole sitdown, Caprice and Zaid kept talking about owning each other's asses at pingpong, and actually made plans to play that night itself.
Ended up going back to the studio, and had our own little private partyy.
Had a couple with the boys, and did my happy boxer dance, which I know all of em have grown to love, and I know they can't wait for me to do it again.
Snuggled in on the couch, and fuck, was I comfy. (:

02 / 06 / 09.
Woke up at 10ish, and got dressed, thinking Chello would be coming to stay.
Zaid dropped me home, and I was secretly patting my head in my head for not getting us lost, like the time I did with Isky and Moe, but ey, let's not get into that shit.
Was home by 11ish, and headed straight to Ma's to get my shit together.
Dy was there, so we bummed around talking, having a few ciggies while watching some stand up shit, which left me in fucking stitches.
Stole Dy's kickass kicks, so now I know that I could kick the living shit outta anybody who gets in my way. Yea, the shit's steel plated. *wiggles eyebrows.
Came home, took a shower and watched some tv.
Mother came home, and that left me in a fucking foul mood, tryna find a way to get outta the house again.
Ended up falling asleep on the couch in my undies.

The last two days have been pretty fucken good, I say.
Caprice and the boys really know how to make a chick feel good, and I'm diggin that right there.

Thanks again, hon. I'm your girl, no qualms. (;

..it's now 1am, and I know the insomnia's kickin in.

I think I've gotta pop some sleeping pills if I'm ever gonna get a goodnight's sleep anytime soon.
To top the lack of sleep off, I'm covered in cuts, bruises and scratches, most of which I don't know how I got.

2009-05-31T18:58:00.004+08:00

Aite, first off, to set the goddamn record straight;
Chick and I are totally over, and have been for ages. I probably gave you kids the idea that we was dead serious, but naw, just messing around.
I guess I got so caught up cos it was good having someone around after such a long time.
You peoples really gotta get your facts straight, and it don't help that the chick herself was spreading shit.
I think I gotta stop getting myself mixed with all these fuckheads, they just create so much mafakkin turbulence !

Secondly, I think I'm on heat.
And the fact that Karmasutra is blaring outta my speakers ain't really helping, dig.

29 / 05 / 09.
Friday was a good way to start the holidays.
Didn't bother going to school, cos I knew for a fact that nobody was gonna be there. Decided to go after hours, to see some people for abit.
Ended up taking a cab home twenty minutes later, cos VanillaSex texted asking me to go to Pyramid with her for some last minute shopping. Huilyn came along too.
Hopped into the car with VanillaSex and Lyn, and headed off.
Walked around for a little while, helped VS pick out stuff for her partyy that night.
Spending the day with my girls was fucken awesome, as we haven't had a SexxGodd day in ages. Headed back to VS's place after devouring some good Aunty Anne's chocolate fingers.
Was supposed to go to Cempaka International, cos Khal invited me for this Save The World thingie at there, but couldn't get a cab in time, and it was well jammed up, so ended up not going.
Was totally bummed about not being able to see my bwoy, but I'm sure he did me proud anyways. (;

Got Justin and Satish to pick me up from VS's place at 10ish, and drove about for abit before heading to ChinaWhite.
Had to sit around for fucking ages, cos the boys had a meeting or some shit, and I swear, I almost offed myself.
Met Kelly and Jason, and sat around having a few drinks. I didn't know what to do with myself while waiting, so I ended up sitting around talking to Kelly. About EVERYTHING. The boy is mad chill.
The owner is some fuckhead who don't get enough at home, I feel.
The man was hitting on me, and that shit was well rank.

After about 30years, people started arriving.
I swear, I love being the only chick amongst such yummy boys.
Everytime I ran off to the dancefloor, atleast two of the boys would come guard me.
I felt so loved, I tell you.
Everytime some fuckhead tried to get fresh with me, one of my boys would step in. *bigcheesygrin.
Ended up spending most of the night bootyshaking with black chicks and dudes, which was fucking fun, though they did get outta hand a coupla times. I think I do a pretty damn good job at looking after myself, honest.
Justins friend, Kraft arrived, and I swear, he's one of the cutest kids I've seen in awhile.
I just wanted to pop him in my mouth. *wiggles eyebrows.
HAHAHAHAHA, I kid. But not really.
Left ChinaWhite at around 3ish/4, and headed over to to AC.
Was texting Reza almost the entire night, and talking to him while he gradually got a lil bit more smashed with every text, was bloody funny. I had this huge grin on my face the entire time.
Sat at AC till 6ish/7, talking and laughing. Bumped into quite a number of people there. Started feeling pretty fucking tired at 7something, and decided to go crash in Justins car.
Ended up curling up in the backseat, and sleeping till 8.30, only woke up cos I had to pee like a fucking horse, but had lost all feeling of my legs.
Kelly decided it was time to stop drinking, and hopped into the car with us.
Headed to the studio, and bummed around talking to Kelly while Justin and Satish slept on any available surface.

30 / 05 / 09.
Got Justin to send me home at 12ish. I swear, I love that kid with my fucking life, he's like one of my favourite people.
Sat around at Mama's place, before coming home.
Got a call from Khal asking me to head to Bangsar cos he was performing.
Me, being the dumbfuck I am, ended up falling asleep, and waking up an HOUR late.
Caught a cab, and met up with him, apologising profusely for my incapability to keep a promise, or tell the time. Bummed at D'Haven.
Met Iskandar, CK and William. Mad chill kids, eventhough they can't drink for nuts. (:
Walked to Nando's with them, before catching a cab home.
Hopped into the shower, and then headed to Secret Recipe with Mama as planned.
Passed up offers from Kelly to head to MCircle with them, cos I was too fucking tired.

..it's now ten minutes to 9pm, and I haven't fucking taken a shower.
And I'm hungry !

2009-05-29T01:43:00.001+08:00

You ?
A rocker ?
Please, refrain from insulting my intelligence, dumb bitch.
You put my music to shame.

2009-05-26T20:52:00.008+08:00

At Kai Lins' house.
Mocha and Milo are so fucking cute.

Pyramid.
Unfortunately, no Aiman in the pictures.

Babelia.
Fav shot of her, EVER.

Vic and Chello.

Chello and Aiman.

Aiman, with his big cheesy grin.

Sharon and Chello.

Ageold loves; Michael and Naveen, with a few other people we bumped into.

Naveen and Chello.

Vic, Sharon and Chello.

Chello.
I love this chick.

I'm so exhausted, I could hibernate. but since I am amazingly awesome beyond comprehension, I won't cos I've got a shitload to update on, and knowing me, if I don't do it now, my procrastinator tendencies will get the better of me.

22 / 05 / 09.
Dragged myself to school, only to have a surprise visit from Chello, asking me to head over to Inked with her. Totally blanked that I had planned on going, and quickly made plans with her. Got Dy to pick me up at 10ish, cos I couldn't be arsed to stay in school.
Aiman and Chello picked me up at 2ish, and then headed over to Kai Lin's house. Played with her ahdorable doggies while waiting for Chello to get ready. Headed over to the studio, and was so excited about seeing Babelia, I was practically pissing myself. Met Sharon and Benny, and had our shots taken.
Picked KaiLin up after we were done, and headed over to Pyramid to grab a bite at the Pancake House. I swear, the Caesar Salad there is divine. KaiLin wanted to get her belly pierced, and watching it was so goddamn disgusting. Ughhh.
Decided to head back to the studio to bum with Babelia. Hilarious conversation on the way over.
Aiman. Me. KaiLin.
"Omg, I have to sit like a pregnant woman."
"Wait, I sit like you !"
"Eh, for wha-"
"AIMAN ! Step on it, the babies are coming !"
"Who the baby daddy ?"

After hysterical giggling the whole ride over, we finally got to the mamak next to the studio. Sharon invited us to head to MOS with them that night, and the idea of it was much more appealing than going home, so I called Dy.
Daddy. Me.
"Dy, I'm gonna be staying at Michelle's tonight, and I'm not going to school tomorrow, okay ?"
"Um okay. Don't do anything that I wouldn't."
Dy, that leaves me a fucking heeuge scope, y'dig ?"
"Idiot. Love you and stay safe."

Headed back to KaiLins house to get dressed. After the heat, the shower was bloody orgasmic. Borrowed KaiLins pink top, and waited for Aiman. I felt bloody uncomfy wearing pink, cos it's not even considered a colour to me. Reached the studio at 10ish, played a lil pool before walking to MOS. On the way over, these two old guys in a Merc slowed down and screamed out the window.
Old chinese guy. Old indian guy.
"Hello beautiful ladies. Need a ride ?"
"You girls are HAWT !" (Yes, pronounced like that.)

Babelia was not amused. She's such a sweetheart, I tell you.
Headed into MOS, and straight for the smoking area. Bumped into Nazreen and Bubu almost immediately, hand't seen them both since Sunburst, so it was good bumping into them. Bumped into Nigel no more than 5minutes later, and talked for a little while. One of the highlights of my night, was bumping into Michael and Naveen. Michael swept me into this huuuuge bearhug, and Naveen joined in. Hadn't seen them in forfuckingever, so catching up put a biiiig smile on my face.
After having a few ciggies and drinks, we decided it was time to go bootyshake. After a coupla hours, Babelia wanted to grab a bite so we headed over to the nearby mamak, had a few ciggies and just talked. I think it's been well over a year since we've actually talked, so a long bitching session was well overdue. Ended up having to pay for everything in coins, cos we were both hella broke. Headed back to MOS with Max.
Me. Max.
"Shit la. I have to pee like a fucking horse."
"*dies laughing*"

Had to walk off the dancefloor at one point, cos this foul smelling dumbfuck thought it's be attractive to grope me as a pickup line. Turned around, made sure he was strerile, and said, "I'm not sure which country you're from, but that's not how we say hi here."
Bummed outside until MOS closed, and then headed to the steps and talked. Chello and Aiman were heading back to KaiLins place, so I jumped into the car with Benny, Sharon, Babelia and Raymond. Sent Babelia and Raymond home, then headed back to Benny&Sharons place in Mont Kiara.
Only managed to get to sleep at 7ish.

23 / 05 / 09.
Was awoken by the sweet smell of ciggies wafting through the door, and stumbled out in a haze. Grabbed a ciggie, and watched a movie with Max. Took a shower, and headed over to the studio.
They were hungry, so we grabbed a bite. Chello and Aiman dropped off my stuff, and then they headed home. Bumped into Shivani's momma at the studio, which was great cos she's so cute. Did some catching up till Sharon's sister sent me home at 3ish.
Got a call from Khal asking if he could come over. Bummed with the gorgeous boy till almost midnight. Ah, the boy's a sweetheart.
Got home after a worried call from Mama, and practically died on my bed.

24 / 05 / 09.
Woke up at 11.45 to the TV blasting. Rolled about in bed, hoping to fall back asleep. Gave up when Adam called, asking if we were still on for lunch.
Got showered, and caught a cab to Bangsar. Bitchy called, so I talked to her the whole ride over. Walked in after my ciggie to find Adam standiing there, turns out he'd been waiting for over an hour.
Headed to Chili's for lunch, and spent two hours just talking. Finally caught a cab back to his place. I love Adam's house, I swear. Chilled out till about 6ish, before catching a cab home.
Fucking cabbie tried to rip me off, and asked for 60bucks.
Told him to go fuck himself, and threw 2o at him.
Aunty Karina and Aidan came over for a swim and a movie.
Headed to MidValley, and watched Night At The Museum 2, which was pretty cute.
Headed home, and crashed.

25 / 05 / 09.
Woke up at the buttcrack of dawn for Confirmation Class, and got showered. Still felt like a fucking zombie, and looked like a fucking trainwreck. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of my Sunday morning ritual.
I honestly can't remember what I did on Sunday, so fuckit.

26 / 05 / 09.
It's all Natt, I swear.
She's such an idiot.
I love you, wifeeehhh.

Dragged myself out of bed, yet again, and got dressed for school. I still felt like hell, and my eyes were bloodshot, so on top of feeling like shit, I looked like a hardcore junkie.
Slept through the first 5periods, and then found out how badly I bombed in my papers.
Fran and Khal came over for a swim. I've been spending so much time with Fran that I feel like we're joined at the hip, I tell you.
Sat around and smoked ourselves silly. (When I say we, I mean Fran, cos Khal won't let me smoke around him.)
We got tortured by Craig, the demon child, yet again.
This time, instead of threatening to send me to hell, he tried to kill me with his slingshot.
Sat around the pool till about 10ish, just talking and laughing like baby hyena's on weed.
Made friends with these Iranian people in the pool, who kept calling Khal "Badman."
The idiot PICKED me up, and carried me around like a fucking blowup doll.
Decided to hop outta the pool, and headed to the men's bathroom.
Which was bloody hilarious, I swear. We ended up staying in there longer than we were supposed to.
Both of them left at around 10.30ish, while I came home, and took a niiiice hot shower, before collapsing on my heavenly bed.

27 / 05 / 09.
School has been so uneventful, it's not even funny. Been tryna up my attendance, as my constant abscenties have earned me yet another warning letter.
Came home, and called Za.
He picked me up and we headed to Rasta.
I haven't seen the boy in well over 5months, so it was really good catching up.
After we got sick of Rasta, we headed over to MidValley to play some pool. He whooped my bum real good, I tell you. Even the guys 4 tables away couldn't help but snigger at my pathetic attempts at beating home.
Got home at 7ish, and the thought of going to sleep was so bloody tempting.
Came online, talked to Reza and decided to accompany him on his walk.
The boy is freakishly awesome, I tell you. I'm almost always in stitches when I'm around him. And he supplies me with my constant nicotine craving, which is always a plus in my book. *bigcheesygrin*

..it's now 11.49pm, and I'm absolutely knackered.
Fran and Khal are coming over tomorrow for yet another fun time in the boys bathroom, and maybe a lil swimming after. Heeheee.
I actually contemplated borrowing a tent from Za, just so we could camp out by the pool, but my better judgment got the better of me, unfortunately.

Now I can't decide if I should go for Aoki or Freedom.
Dy's going for Freedom, and it'd be a tad awkward if I bumped into him there.
Maybe I'll just go party hardy this weekend with some girlfriends, or summat.

Oh, by the way, I LOVE YOU, MON !

2009-05-21T10:41:00.002+08:00

I decided to come home early from school.
Why ?
Cos ain't nothing going down, and staying until the last bell seemed like a hard thing to do.

Heading out with Chelle and Aiman afterwards, hopefully to get inked.
Teeheee.

I love Google, and Wikipedia. Eat this, bitches;

Even if homosexuality was considered a sin, there are a lot of other things in the Bible that are considered to be sins as well. The reason people proclaim to be a Christian is because they acknowledge they've sinned and they need help in order to be a better person. Thus, all Christians are unrighteous people, because all Christians commit sins even if they don't commit homosexuality. So according to 1 Corinthians 6:8-10 the unrighteous can't enter heaven. We have a problem if indeed Christians are all unrighteous people and unrighteous people can't enter into heaven. That's where God's grace comes in. Ephesians 2:8-9 says ⁸For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - ⁹not by works, so that no one can boast. No Christian could ever be perfect or sinless, so God's grace makes up for what we lack.

Jesus was quoted as saying "Let he with no sin cast the first stone." Christians are sinners and because of this should never judge anybody based upon the lifestyle they lead, even if it the lifestyle is questionable. Who is to say one lifestyle is better than another one? Jesus hung out with the prostitutes, thieves, and other various outcasts because He loved them unconditionally even though He didn't agree with the lifestyles they may have chosen. He never told any of them that they were going to hell because of the sins they did. So why should we judge if someone is going to hell? The simple answer is that we shouldn't. Just as the thief on the cross next to Jesus didn't go to hell, neither will a homosexual go to hell.

2009-05-20T15:15:00.002+08:00

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Time to get away, I've been stuck in the same place for so long, and I think it's high time that I got over this shit, and stop letting myself get hurt.
Honestly, what's the point of letting down the wall you've taken forever to build, only to have the reason you built it up in the first place, chucked in your face, over and over again ?
So, once again, like last year, I've decided to announce my Manorexic-ism (when I say Man, I don't just mean the ones with dicks, I mean chicks too.)

I think it's time to run.

2009-05-19T20:55:00.003+08:00

So, I'm officially an orphan.
Momma told me she doesn't love me anymore, that she regrets having kids cos of me and that she wishes I would die.
Daddy hasn't even bothered checking in, but what's new.

Honestly, it was long coming, but it didn't even sting when she said it.
I just shrugged and walked away.
Being numb has proven to have advantages, I've honestly never been able to walk away unscathed from the hurtful things she says, but yesterday, I just walked away and we haven't acknowledged each other since.
I'm actually contemplating finding somewhere else to stay for a little while, just to give her some space, since she wants me gone so much.
The only thing that's keeping me here right now, is the fact that I'm flat broke and I've got school.

Spent the day by the pool with Fran, which was shitloads of fun.
Especially making smoke bubbles, and laughing at demon children.
Tanlines everywhere, man !
Going from practically living together two years back, and then barely speaking, and now back to this, has been amazing. (:

2009-05-18T14:35:00.002+08:00

You know what yous should do ?

Pick up a paperback copy of Paint It Black by Janet Fitch, get a playlist consisting of whatever gets you happy and calm.
I'm in the first few hundred pages, and I've barely been able to put it down. I've only done so right now, to tell you all about it.
It's physically impossible not to love me with the way I love and share knowledge with you twits.

I ran out of school today, which was hilarious.
Couldn't be arsed to stay for the damn teachers day celebs, so I called Ma and asked her to come get me. As I walked around the corner, assuming a safe escape, a police car stopped me.
Bloody hilarious.
Daddy rolls up and goes,
"Take her only, bang. Take her. It's not like she helps around the house anyway."
I hit him with my rucky when I got into the car.

Am supposed to meet Reza later, and supposed to head to Pyramid with Fran later.
I'm such a busy woman.
Alls the better to keep my mind off things, dig ?

Been eating like a fucking ano lately. Haven't eaten anything proper in about 4days.
Nahh, ain't no crazy crash diet, it's just that I haven't got an appetite. (I know, who am I kidding with an ass like mine right ? Teehee.)

Missing you hasn't really gotten any easier, but other things to keep me occupied actually have been a great help. Reading blogs and stumbling across pictures of you, knowing that you both have history and we didn't even have enough to time make our own, still kinda stings. But hey, as long as you're happy, I'll keep this smile on my fatface.

;; so long, my luckless romance,
my back is turned on you,
shoulda known you'd bring me heartache,
almost lovers always do.

2009-05-17T21:45:00.002+08:00

I'm back !
I know you bitches missed me. (:
Even if you didn't, just say you did because it would make me happy, like how rubbing my tummy and patting my head makes me happy. :D

You know what the best part about getting back to the civilization of my laptop is ?
My music.
I am experiencing euphoria at it's best.
I'm well drugged up on She Wants Revenge.
Fucking amazing shit, homebwoy.

Made a fucking hugeass card for Azlina today, cos I'm well off the hook and Priy made me.
Will post up pictures of the monster when I can be arsed.

2009-05-15T19:40:00.006+08:00

First of all, I'M SORRY.

I broke my laptop wire. I know, how did I even do that ? It's a freaking wire.
As Zee Man would say,
"How in the hell did you manage to break something to UNbreakable ? Shit, now I'm scared. What if you break me ?"

So, I'm currently on Sam's shit computer, which I literally have to smash in to get the words out, which is not as such fun. Mm. I'm quite literally dying to getting back to my laptop, especially my music.
I've decided that after this, I'm going on hiatus for a little while. Honestly, blogging feels more like an obligation now, and I hate feeling obligated to do anything. I'm so tired of everything that's been going down lately, and I just really need to get away for awhile. Been spending almost everynight with Fran, which has been fucking awesome. Just driving around, and talking. It actually feels good to talk about everything, and lay my cards on the table.
These past few months, I've closed myself off so much, sometimes I find it hard to even think about it when I'm by myself. There's a fine line between falling in love and falling apart, and even through my bruised and blinded eyes, I see I've overstepped the line. Trust me to go against the very thing I've been avoiding for over a year. A year is a long time, even for me.
I know, I have this crazy tendency of over analyzing and exaggerating things, but I mean,I'm guaranteed the few days of mourning, am I not ? (:

You ♥;

It's strange how I got so used to having you around, and now having you just walk away when I want to put my arms around you. Having to turn around and walk away from even talking to you, stings like a motha.But I'm not prepared to come between you and your family, eventhough it's fucking killing me even to think about giving you up.

I miss you, and having your fingers locked in mine.

Walking around, and having people ask me what's going on, just doesn't make things any better, trust.

Whatever it is, you know what you mean to me, right ?

And I hope you know it.

Priy and Boondek, I fucking love you two with my life okay.
I don't know what I'd do without you both.
Which reminds me..

.bernadette. says:
Haha. Yeah man. I'm eyeing a pair of 4 quarter shorts in radioactive.
.mandaLOVER;; russian roulette._♥. says:
DUDE, 4QUARTERS IS FULL LENGTH,DOUCHE BAGGGG.
.mandaLOVER;; russian roulette._♥. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA.

So, I think I should go.
I'm already getting irritated.

2009-05-01T16:48:00.002+08:00

I ain't no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bedrock. (;
*wiggles eyebrows.*

2009-04-25T20:15:00.011+08:00

I've had a total of 8 hours of sleep in 72hours.
The deprivation of sleep was totally worth it.

At Chloe's, getting ready.
I didn't even realise Gabs took a picture.
Hoyea, I donned the Kate Moss, baybee.

Gabiemma. <3Scott.
Jagermeister !

Paver.
Our asses are so huge, you could land a fucking plane on it.

Scotts' cousin, Kayla.
She lives in Zimbabwe, and is a volunteer at an AIDS organisation.
Spent ages talking to her about it, cos I wanna do missionary work either there or in Africa.

Sam.
Fucking ace singer, I tell you !

Why yes, those are shoes on my ears.
Gabs, Paver & Chloe tossed all their shit in my bag.
I swear it looked like I had a freaking African Nation hidden in there.

Karaoke, baybee.

At the mamak before heading into Poppy.
Paver doesn't fucken eat dude, she fucken devours !

Arm wrestling in the middle of a mamak, with strange men staring at our modest selves.

24 / 04 / 09.
Decided to skive off school, cos nothing really goes on in school anymore. Got Momma to send me over to Chlo's at 3ish. Was totally looking forward to a few days away from her as she was driving me absolutely mental. Bummed around abit before heading to Plaza Damansara cos I needed to get smokes. Didn't wanna take a cab, so we called Gabs and Alice asking if they could pick us up on the way over to Chlo's. I always knew I was bad at directions, but I never knew to such an extent.

Paver/Gabs. Me. Chlo.
"Cross the road, and when you see with a pond with turtles, and wait there."
"Um, excuse me ? A pond ? With turtles ?"
"Yea."
"Okay, we've crossed the road, but there is no pond. AND NO TURTLES."
"I'm actually intrigued. I've lived here for like 6years, and I've never seen a pond with turtles."
"I actually think they're lying."
"But we're not ! There's actually a pond with turtles !"
"Paver, are you lying to me, and watching us walk up and down from your car, and laughing your ass off ?"

After about 10minutes of walking around looking for the pond with turtles (which we never found, by the way !), Pavers' momma found us, and we hopped into the car. Gabs was in the back, and when we reached Chlo's place, I told Pavers' mom that she could keep her.
Hopped into the shower, and then waited for Justin and Satish. They were actually supposed to come earlier to take Chlo and I out for abit, but they got held up at a meeting.
Set up the plans for the rest of the night, and believe it or not, we didn't get a place to stay.
Headed back in after having a smoke with the boys, and started getting dressed.
And whilst deciding what to wear, we had fucking hilarious conversations;

Paver. Gabs. Chlo. Me.
"I wanna wear this, but it's not like revealing enough."
"Oh my, Chlo. Don't wear that then !"
"Tsk, if you did, you'd be a total tramp."

"Dude, can you imagine if it was like, totally opposite. Like the more covered up you are, the bigger the slut you are. And the skimpier you dress, the more modest you are."
"Shit, I'd be like, the most modest person in school."
"Yea, and I'd be a fucking nun tonight."

"I ripped the dress !"
"How ?"
"My ass is so fat."
"Dude, my ass is so huge, you could land a fucking plane on it."

"Ohmygod. I just realised that the 'ninjas' would be like, whores !"

Got well tarted up, and went to pick Mina up. Who was like, so covered up, which set the four of us into a huge fit of giggles. Met up with Trett, Sam and Nindy.
Talked to Nindy about the exboyf that we both share, and how she just needs to get over all the shit. Decided that after having our heart broken by the same boy so many times, it was time to express the freedom.
So what did we do ?
We kicked off our shoes, and ran around the fountain, ciggies in hand, and giggling.
Headed to the karaoke place, cos the boys wanted to show off some skills, which ended up with all of us in stitches.
After about half an hour, Lewis calls and drama erupts. After a few heated arguments and alot of profanities, Tretter took Nins home, by this time, Scott and his cousin Kayla arrived.
Tretter, Adam, Afzaa and Nads came, and then we headed off to Poppy.
The girls got hungry, so we headed to the nearby mamak. Talked about the most random things, and arm wrestled. It was fucking hilarious seeing the reactions of the people at the mamak when 4 chicks walked in dressed to fucking kill. I swear, Paver just swallowed her roti canais.
Called Satish, and headed into Poppy. Adam was my date for the night, and the boy is fucking great.
Got a coupla pitchers and a bottle, and as Satish says,
"Bloody alcoholics, drink like fucking fish la !"
Didn't wanna drink too much at Poppy, as we were on Tasha's guestlist at Barclub, and were getting free bottles.
Got another friend, Danial in, and talked to Adam for ages.
Poppy was pretty dead, so we decided to head to Barclub. Which was such a fucking disappointment, cos it was fucking empty.
Hopped into yet another cab, and made our way to Werner's on Changkat, and spent the rest of the night there. The others hadn't arrived yet, so it was Adam, Danial, Trett, Gabi and I. Sat around laughing over a few drinks.
The girls finally arrived, and we got another bottle.
Werner's hadn't filled up yet, so the atmosphere was very comfy, and it made it so much easier to talk.
The place started filling up at 1ish, and then we went fucking apeshit.
Bumped into Adieb, Tharique and a few other people.
And guess who came ?
JOHN !

Decided to spend some time with John, as I hadn't seen him in ages. Walked to 711 for some smokes. Sat down somewhere quiet for abit, and talked things out for like half an hour. That hearttoheart really did me good, babe. And you know I love you, yea ?
Headed back to Werner's and danced till it closed.
We totally forgot to find a place to stay, so I figured why not just stay with Justin.
Chlo, Gabs and Paver decided to head home with Afzaa, so Trett, Adam and I waited for Satish and Justin to come pick us up. The plan initially was for us to head to Subang, and then back to one of their apartments, but everyone was way too tired, so they dropped us off at Adams place.
Had to be really quiet, cos by the time we got back, it was already 5ish. Adam pressed his fingers to his lips, and everybody in the world knows that that's the universal sign for you to shut the hell up right ?
And what does Tretter do ?
He throws his shoes on the floor and goes, "WHAAADT ?" at the top his voice.
So fucking hilarious, I tell you.
Had to run into the house co the alarm was on, and it took everything in me not to scream when his dog started barking. I swear, I got the shock of my goddamn life.
Hopped into Adams' bed, which was fucking orgasmic. I swear, I have never been in a better bed in my life. He's studying sound engineering, so his room has got like monstrous speakers and the works, which I was so tempted to play with, but my better judgment took ahold of me.

25 / 04 / 09.
Got to sleep at about 8ish, and was rudely awoken by Tretter at 10.20.
"Morning Manda, *wiggles eyebrows."
"Ohmygod, Trett. GET OUT !"

Lolled about in bed for abit, talking to the boys before Trett decided to take a shower.
Once he was done, he wouldn't stop irritating me, so I tried to kick him off the bed, numerous times. Ah, I love you, Tretter. I'm gonna fucking miss you when you go !
The two boys were hungry so they went downstairs to make breakfast. Took a shower, and realised I didn't have anything to wear, and I couldn't exactly go down dressed the way I was, when Adams' momma was downstairs. Being the genius I am, I called Trett and told him to tell Adam that I needed a shirt.
Headed downstairs for breakfast, which smelt so damn good.
After sitting down, I realised that I hadn't eaten anything since a slice of bread for breakfast the day before, and I was ravenous.
Tretter eats like a damn pig, it's kinda funny to watch. He literally just shoved his sandwich into his mouth, and let the eggs drip right down to his elbows.
After breakfast, he headed over to Afzaa's to see Gabs, so it was just Adam and I.
Talked abit more before walking towards the main road to catch a cab, he walked out without shoes on, and I was wearing his tshirt. How fun.
Jumped into a cab, and headed over to Chlo's.
Bummed around abit, and helped her pack. Got Justin and Satish to pick me up at 4ish.
Chlo, I miss you so fucking much already !
Got home, and jumped into the shower. Unpacked and cleaned my room.
(I have this bad habit, that if I stayed over at a friends place for a night, I'd have to clean my room when I get back. Even if it's already been cleaned. And I'm talking about sweeping, mopping, and all that jazz. Yes yes, OCD.)
Headed over to Mama's place cos Aunty Sheila is down from Penang. Was way too fucking exhausted, and almost fell asleep on the floor.
Got home at 12ish, and went straight to bed. Believe it or not, I couldn't get to sleep till 2.

26 /04/ 09.

Happy birthday, Chloe Ong.
I can't wait till you get back in July ! Ugh, I miss you so much already !
Love you shitloads, bestfriend.
xxx.

Was up at the buttcrack of dawn, and headed to church. Oh, I swear, I could've fallen asleep in the shower.
Met up with Nindy before class, for our usual Sunday morning smoke & redbull.
Talked for fucking ages, sorting things out, we didn't even realise how late for class we were.
Headed over to Satelite after getting a text from Ash, telling me she was there. Surprise, surprise !
Micheal and Brian were there, and I hadn't seen them for fucking ages, so it was really good catching up.
Headed into class half an hour late, and I was on total sugarhigh from the 3cans of redbull I drank. Unfortunately, it was also having a fun time sloshing about in my bladder.
Stupidfuckingwhale wouldn't let me pee. Ugh, one day I'm gonna fucking stab her in the face.
Hopped into the car, andd stopped at OldTownWhiteCoffee cos Sam, as per usual, was hungry.
Came home, and have been doing nothing productive except talk to Mon.

Mon.Me.
"Why the fuck would he talk to her like that if he has the nerve to use you like that and then HURT her with that info ? Ugh, he belongs in a fucking hellhole with my grandmother nagging him."
"BAHAHAHAHAAH, MON. WHAT THE FUCK ? HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA. Dude, you are so fucking weird !"

... it's now 7.20pm, and I have yet to shower. Ughh.
I'm way too fucken lazy for my own good.

2009-04-21T20:45:00.002+08:00

Don't expect to see me online as often as before, and don't take it to heart if I don't reply your IM's / texts / calls.
I'm not at a very good place right now, and I'm just really sick of everything.

I just can't be bothered with anyone anymore, and I actually feel like I'm wasting my time.
I'm at this place where I'm just too tired to give a shit anymore. I'd like to say I'm gonna do something about it, but I honestly don't want to.
I'm trying my hardest to stop shifting and shedding all the time. I'm tired of starting again, of the same cycle time and time again.
I'm lacking stability, and I'm just so.. blergh. I can't describe how shit everything is.
To top it off, Mid semesters are in two weeks.
Been tryna study my ass off, and seeing as I have the attention span of a pea, it's quite a task.
Plus, I have such a huge ass.

Oh, this is too much.
Justin, if you love me, you'll come see me, and you'll bring me treats.

I'm going to drown myself in smoke now.

2009-04-19T18:28:00.002+08:00

Hello. (:

This is gonna be a quickie, as I've got more important things to do, as per se, shower.
Just got home from a movie with Sa, Jellybean and JBs' brother, Raymond.
It was fun, minus the movie.
Mall Cop is a helluva shit movie, DON'T WATCH IT.
Got my sights set on watching Coming Soon and Friday the 13th.
Teehee.

Followed Dy to PD yesterday to pick up Sa's cake from the hotel.
Talked to Zee Man and Jo on the way.
Got the cake and headed back to KL, not before stopping at The Yacht Club for a drink, where these absolute morons gawked as though they hadn't seen a chick before.
Jumped into the car, and in the middle of the drive, Dy tells me to drive cos he's tired.
Daddy. Me.
"Dada, get in the drivers seat please."
"Whaaadt ?"
"I'm too tired to drive. Pull over before the toll though, cos there are lots of cops after that."
"Holy fuck. Okay. *gets out of the car.*"

It was really fun, and Dy says I'm a good driver, officially.
I'm totalleh going to PD more often, fo sho.

Okay, bye retards.

2009-04-18T13:16:00.002+08:00

Random conversation;

Chello. Me.
"Dude, I went fucking crazy in MPH today. I bought 33bucks worth of notebooks."
"Omg, dude. What are you gonna do with them ?"
"I don't freaking know ! Now I can't wait to go to school."
"*dies laughing*"
"And I got this 3subject notebook, and it's freakishly awesome with it's dividers and shit. I'm gonna name the first part One, the second part Two, and guess what I'm naming the third part ?"
"FOUR !"
"No.."
"ELEVEN."
"Good idea, but no."
"Okay, I don't know."
"C !"
"*dies laughing*"

2009-04-17T12:19:00.004+08:00

You know what I want ?
Do you ?
Do you ?
Do you ?
Huh, huh, huh ?

I WANT A BABY SUGAR GLIDER.

How could you not want one ?
Aren't they so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute ?

2009-04-16T21:14:00.003+08:00

So, I'm home alone, yes, again.
It's not as such, fun.
But, the purpose of this post is;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEW.
You know I love you, and after all this time, you still never fail to surprise me.
You're freaking out of this world, and I adore you for that.
It's been 8 long years, boy, and in that time, we've had to pull through so much shit, but I'd gladly do it again with you by my side, no qualms.
Missing you, and the time we put deep heat on your wiiiiiener.
Hoyea, boy, I totalleh posted that on my blog.
Loveyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

2009-04-14T21:10:00.003+08:00

As promised, boys and girls, the boys of VHS or Beta, showin me some love.
How could you not dig em ?
LoveyouDaddy :D

p/s : The voice you hear, is NOT Daddy.
Its Aunty Yeen, homebwoy.

2009-04-13T19:59:00.002+08:00

Dude, I suck at left turns.
I bruised my whole fucking left leg today.
But I'm so excited, cos it's board induced injuries.
Still, happy happy boarding :D

I'm so tempted to just call you and ask how you are.
My judgment is so clouded, and honestly, I'm slightly freaked.
Gimme your thoughts, dear nonexistent readers, as I'm pretty fucken confusuled.

Boarded for like 2hours this morning, and then headed to the gym for another hour.
I'm still feeling fucken beat, and I'm bruised.
And no, I didn't go to school.
Teehee.

Momma's on holiday, so I spent the day with the family, all cosy and giggly.
It was fun.
I painted Sam's bra with fabric paint, and it was soooo cute, promise.
Then, seeing how fantastic my artwork was, I painted on of my bras !
On the right cup, it says;
Vote for Pedro.
NO !

On the left cup, it says;
Vote for Tots ! (Momma)
*a drawing of a stick person with CRAZY ASS HAIR*
Mascot of the year.

Sa threw a baby lizard off my windowsill with a hanger.
Shudda seen the damn thing flail about, and it was so funny.

2009-04-12T18:33:00.001+08:00

Didn't get to board today, unfortunately.
But it is Jesus Zombie Day.
So Happy Jesus Zombie Day.
Yippee !
Where my bunny wabbit at, yo ?

2009-04-11T22:03:00.002+08:00

Finally, got the board. (:
Hoyea, I did.
Cost me 200bucks, but was that shit worth it.
*bigcheesygrin*
I've already bruised both my knees, I'm so excited !

2009-04-10T12:47:00.000+08:00

You know how much I fucking hate the internet right now ?
What a fucking waste of time.
And apparently, I don't have a fucking inbox.
Ladifuckingda.

2009-04-07T22:50:00.001+08:00

Thursday night !
:D

2009-04-06T22:34:00.002+08:00

"If you see us in a club, leave. Cos we're hardcore like that."

Hi. (:
Yesterday was good. I am as such, a very (very times a million) happy child.

Hopped into the car with Daddy at 2.45, and made our way to Sepang. The number of cars on the road was bloody ridiculous, and we kinda figured that we'd be stuck in a massive jam. Oh, we were trapped in the damn car for 3hours plus. It was shitloads of fun though, cos everyone was fucking pumped and friendly. I swear, I made a tonne of friends on the road itself. Daddy and I were well jazzed up, thanks to my freakishly awesome taste in music (think, ol' school RnB, trance, house Bob Marley) and I like to believe that everyone else actually enjoyed my roadmix, their bobbing heads, goofy smiles and singing along were enough to put a goofy smile on my face too.
Unfortunately, cops are dumbfucks, and because of their stupidity, we got set back by ANOTHER HOUR. Was way past 5 already, the race had started and it was about to rain enough to flood a goddamn state. Decided to park along the main road, and walk the rest of the way in. As we were walking, it started freaking pouring. Before we even reached the main gate, we were soaked to the point of pneumonia. My poor baby AllStars. Hopped into the shuttle thing and got the guy to drive us right to our gate. As soon as we plonked our bums on the grass, the race was cancelled. Oh, Murphys' Law, I tell you. Grabbed a couple plastic bags and covered my backpack, cos I'm a genius like that, yo.
Walked a helluva long way to get to the helipad, seeing quite a number of familiar faces along the way. Didn't bother bringing an umbrella or a raincoat, and decided to enjoy the rain. Everyone else followed suite after seeing Daddy and I laughing and splashing about. Finally got to the helipad (after a million years, times ten) and waited for the gates to open. Bumped into Simon, and turns out my tattoo offer is still on the table. *bigcheesygrin*
Bumped into a few more of Dys' friends, and stood around talking for nearly an hour. Gates finally opened at 7ish, and finally made our way to the stage, after of course, being frisked by the hugeass security.
Waited abit more, before AdamC and Mootz jumped onstage. Whilst ignoring their babbling, who should I bump into, but David. Totalleh made my day.
Waited ages before Maliq and D'Essentials performed. Barely paid attention to them at Sunburst, but fuck, did they get my attention lastnight. Their performance was fucking amazing, and I swear, I would totalleh do Malique. HAHAH.
Naturally Seven was amazing, just as they were at Sunburst. You gotta dig kids who can do that with their mouths, no joke.
Was bloody amazed at the crowd, and how un-annoying they were. Honestly, I usually dislike being right infront, cos dumbfucks are constantly pushing, and trying to suffocate you with their everything, but lastnights' crowd was amazing.
Finally, after freaking ages of waiting, the reason I now have the flu (totalleh worth it, no doubt), Jamiroquai bursts onstage.
Shudda heard them people go crazy. He's quite the performer, the boy was on point.
Through the rain, through the heat, he was fucking amazing.
Before I knew it, it was 12, and he walked off, leaving me in awe.
That's how good he was, ya'lls know how hard it is to actually get me that way kan.
Got a call from Momma, who wasn't all that pleased about our late hour, eventhough I was with Dy. Tskk.
Realized, after walking around the whole damn curcuit for over half an hour, that we were beyond lost and had misplaced our car. Yeaa, we did. Finally hopped into a cab, and drove in circles looking for our car.
Found it, after almost an hour, and headed home.
On the way back, Aie calls Dy; (Remember D's friend, who's like in love with me ?)
"Jay, ko katne doeh ?"
"Otw balek da. Fuck dude, that was fucking amazing. Jaykay was on fucking pint, no doubt, dude. Where you at ?"
"I know, man. That shit was of the hook. Props to the man. I'm in KL."
"Oh okay, Manda's here. Nak anta die balek ke pape ah."
"Ehh, I wanna talk to her !"

Me, Aie;
"Hello ?"
"Hello, my darling."
"*laughs* Hey you !"
"I didn't know you were coming ! If I did, I wudda come party with you !"
"Well, I'm here, believe it or not, boy. You missed it bigg, babe. What you up to ?"
"I'm in KL, tryna recover from alcoholism and from hunger. Wanna grab a bite ?"
"Sounds good,meet us in PJ, we gon' grab a bite too."

Met up with the boys at some mamak in PJ, and sat around, laughing till 2am.
Finally headed home, kissed Dy goodnight, and jumped in the shower cos I was fucking covered in mud.
Got to bed at 3ish, and was woken up by Momma at 6 for school.
Gave in after arguing for 10secs, about not going to school.
Slept throughout the whole day anyway, not like we fucking learn anymore. Tskk.

It's now 11.45, and I ain't going to school tomorrow. Today was the first day since like, Tuesday last week that I went to school, but it's not like we're learning anything anyways.

2009-04-04T22:48:00.002+08:00

So, guess what Daddy did for me ? (:
You have three guesses.
Okay, I'll tell you.

Seeing as Aunty Yeen wasn't happy about me heading to Green Room to meet VHS or Beta, I didn't end up going.
But what I did get was a video addressed to me from the boys of VHS or Beta.
That put a huge ass cheesy grin on my face.
I'll post it up as soon as I get it from Dy's camera. (:

And guess where I just got back from ?
I just got back from getting my Jamiroquai tickets.
Yes, I'll be watching the kid.
Backstage passes, anyone ?
*wiggles eyebrows.*

So, anyone who's headed to Jaykay tomorrow, do give me a call or summin, we'll bum hippestyle and throw back a few beers.
Aye Kim ?

2009-04-02T13:43:00.006+08:00

Hello. (:

I didn't go to school today, simply cos there aren't classes anymore cos of the stupid heats before sports day.
I would've gone, but we had art today, so ugh, no thanks.
Came home early yesterday too, cos I would've rather choked on fish before I sat for 2 wholes hours with DragonLady.

Spent the day talking to Firdy yesterday, and fuck, was that funny.

Click to enlarge.

He deleted my posts. ):
It was along the lines of;
"Hi Firdy.
You're like sex on legs, and your pornstar voice makes me so hot. And I wanna do you all night long. You're my tripod. (; Do me like the Karmasutra."

HAHAHAHA, gotta love the boy.

Farouq got kicked in the face at school, cos boys are fucky like that.
So we spent the day making fun of him and bitching about disgusting whores. (;
I love those boys la.

Went to Alice Smith yesterday for the Spring concert, and then headed to Chili's for dinner at like 10 with Uncle Urs.
Reuben works there, so it was fun catching up.
He's constantly disappearing, but it was good seeing you babe. (:

Random statement;
Shortfuck, it's called a metaphor. My god, could you be any dumber ?
Seriously, if anyone's stupid, it's most definitely you.
I mean, honestly, for someone with such an oversized head, there's nothing much going on in there.
Honestly, your attempts to insult me do nothing more than make me smirk, you're like a cat playing at being a tiger.
You think you're so goddamn original, but you're just like every other attention seeking whore. Just like your hooker bestfriend.
I may have had an eating disorder at one point, but hey, even without it, I was always much better looking than you. Actually, isn't everybody ?
I may not be skinny, but hell that doesn't bother me.
You are the epitome of repulsive, and I feel really sorry for the people who have to be seen with you.
I'd rather be a nobody than be your friend, which frankly, I don't know how I did for so long.
Oh, how young and stupid I was.
Petite ? Honey, you're short, that's that. And that fat ass does nothing for your size.
I'd rather be stuck at home, than be out with company like yours. With you.
Really, that's the BEST you can do ?
Put some fucking clothes on slut, tissue paper doesn't count.
The only thing that irritated me is your English skills, or lack thereof.
At least my mum does a better job than both your parents put together.
Your incapability to actually make an impact on anyone amuses me.
Oh, you bore me. (:

I'm now going to continue watching Tenacious D, cos it's fucking hilarious.

2009-04-01T16:08:00.003+08:00

Oh my sweet Lord.
I'm sorry babe, I just couldn't help myself.
Excuse me while I pee myself laughing. (:

Loveyoutillthecowscomehome.

Scott's off to NS in a coupla months.
Kane and I, being full of wisdom like we are, said wise words as such;

Scott, don't drop the soap.

BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2009-04-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

"Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole. Is this a pretty accurate description of our relationship?"

2009-03-31T21:42:00.001+08:00

I've been spending alot of time with Daddy lately, and I'm beginning to realise that he isn't as bad as he used to be.

Love you, Dy. (:

2009-03-29T20:45:00.002+08:00

So, I'm a bigger disaster in the kitchen than I thought I was.
And that's definitely saying something.

Once Za wanted to take me on a picnic, and told me to bring food, and I was like,
"Do you have some sort of twisted deathwish ?"

Sam and I decided to bake cookies today. Suhhweet peanut butter and chocolate cookies. Big mistake, you have no idea.
We bought everything we needed; Chocolate chips, and er.. chocolate chips.

Came home, and immediately started getting to work, irritating the life out of everybody while we were at it, of course.
Laid everything out like two professionals (which we aren't, you will come to learn) and began our torture of flour, etc etc.
It was, admittedly, the first time I had ever baked in my life, and I fucking enjoyed myself, and I amused myself so much playing with the cookie dough and peanut butter.
Finally tossed them in the oven, after like, ages of going crazy and bursting into insane fits of giggles.
We got flour and dough all over the kitchen, which didn't sit with well with Mother.
Popped our cookies into the oven, and cleaned up the kitchen while waiting.
12minutes later, a burning smell is wafting throughout the house.
Turns out, our cookies are burnt.
It was, by far, one of the most depressing moments of my life.

I spent the next half hour scraping the burnt bits of the cookies off, and munching on crumbs.

I'm never baking again, it hurts my heart too much.
So next week, I'M COOKING.
(I kid. I will, no doubt, burn the whole off Pantai Hillpark down.)

2009-03-28T14:16:00.000+08:00

This comes under one of the worst Saturday's in time.

2009-03-27T20:29:00.002+08:00

Ya'lls know that VHS or Beta are in KL tonight, right ?
Performing at the Heineken Green Room.

Well, Daddy got invites to the thing, and right now, he's getting ready to head over there.
And then, he's spending the rest of the night with the boys from VHS or Beta, and he said I might be able to meet them.
So I lost my head, and went apeshit.
So I asked Mummy if it'd be alright if I went out with Daddy tonight for dinner with the boys.
And she loses her fucking nerve, and tells me to fuck off, and not to ask her for anything.
I asked her why she wouldn't let me go, and her excuse was that she hates my dad.
What the fuck does that have to do with me ?

If she's got issues with the man, don't fucking take it out on me.
So much for wanting to be happy, cos she knows that VHS or Beta are one of my favourite bands.

When Sa was 12, she let her have off in the middle of the fucking night to meet Blue, at fucking Zouk.
Do you see why I'm so fucking pissed now ?

Fuck this, I'm going whether she likes it or not.

2009-03-27T11:05:00.002+08:00

Hi, Kaneyy.
I miss you, my motorcycle riding gummy bearrr.

So, I'm seriously considering getting my tonsils out cos they're seriously starting to fuck me up.
I can barely breathe cos they're pretty much sticking together. So I guess they might just suffocate me. Joy unbounded.

So, I'm definitely going to be in debt by the time I'm like 20.
I've been spending waaay too much on my phonebill (result of playing therapist with Chello. If I were her therapist, I'd have a Hummer by now. HAHA)
It's kinda funny how my relationship advice makes so much sense when someone else is doing it, and not me. So much for practicing what you preach aye.

So I got my Science paper back a few days ago, and I did pretty alright compared to the others. 'Teacher' is not as such the brightest crayon in the whole box, dig ?
Question was;
State one function of a drug used in the medical field.
My answer; As a local anesthesia.
Fool marked it incorrect !
So, the conversation went as such, quote;
"Dude, how could you mark me wrong ? My answer is way more logical and better constructed than yours."
"Atcheli, I taktau what your answers means. Pelik betol jawapan you. Apa annastacia ?"
"Well, Annatascia is my godmother's name, but ANESTHESIA is sedatives. The thing they put in you before you go into surgery ? MORPHINE."
"To tahan sakit ke ?"
"Okay, let me break it down for you. My answer is right, and I know that it is. So give me my marks, and we can stop this pathetic excuse for a science IN ENGLISH conversation."

Makes me wonder where in the hell we get our teachers from.

Moving on.
Yesterday was a good day.
Got home from school, and headed to KL with Daddy cos we had to go to the Pineapple Concerts office, to pick up the F1 tickets. Unfortunately, the tickets had run out, and Sa got some holiday instead. So much for Jamiroquai, man.
Hpefully Dy will be able to get us tickets, anyway.
Headed to Sect14 after cos he was meeting some business partners.
Sat around and had something to eat at this place called Pappa Rich.
Met Jeff, who's fucking awesome and is very into polygamy.
Very interesting to listen to the things he has to say, sexual as they are.
Amusing fucker, he is.
And he's very interested in listening to me talk.
Headed home after like 4hours, and then bummed for the rest of the day.

Decided to not go to school today, cos my tonsils are fucked, as I said.
Howell.
I just remember I need to go get some smokes.
Have a good one, mafakkas.

2009-03-23T16:39:00.001+08:00

So, here we are, yet again.
At the starting line.
I don't think I'm playing your game another time.
I've had enough of going round and round in circles.
Sorry homebwoy, I'm actually happy.

2009-03-23T15:11:00.005+08:00

Hi !

As I type this, Four Years Strong angsty version of Love Song is playing on repeat in my head. It is, as you say in English, bloody annoying.I'm hoping that Hawthorne Heights will take over soon, or I'll lose what's left of my marbles.

Just realised I forgetted about my date with Priyy (which ended up being this huge ass group thing) We've been putting our date off for ages now, and so we decided to us the last day of holidays to bum. Priyy snuck out of band camp. HAHAHAHA.
I had to wait for her for like an hour, before deciding to grab a bite, and I swear, I almost fell asleep waiting. The woman finally arrived, and then we walked around after having a smoke.
Bumped into Redza (whose ass was on full display for Priy & I. HAHAHA, loveyoulahh), and watched the boys play pool before opening up a table, and playing pool with Boondek.
Holy fuck, I'm so bad at that shit, but I had fun kinda but not really kicking Boons bummy.
(Kay, I lied. She kicked my ass real good, like totally buttwhipped, but I have a rep to upkeep.)
Jumped into a cab. then realising that my cabbie was well drugged up.
Was home by 4.30, and texted Casey for the rest of the day.

Okay, hi, foreal.
Going back to school today, made me feel like I hadn't been off all week. Wasn't particularly looking forward to zombie-ing around the house at 6 in the godddamn morning, but on the notsobright side, I can sleep the whole day away. And I'm hopefully seeing Casey tomorrow.

On another note, there's this chick, who is quite literally the epitome of pathetic. She went to Cambodia for a week, and came back speaking like a Texan. How in the fuck did that even happen ? Fuck, we laughed so hard. Heggyheggyhoghog. I gotta stop being such an asshole. But it was fucking CAMBODIA, not fucking Texas.

I'm tryna get Daddy to score me some F1 tickets, cos I wanna catch Jamiroquai. I've been hearing that Oasis is headed to Singapore. I know how Indonesia feels about us now. But if they do come, I'm only going to watch 'Wonderwall.' Admittedly, Cartels' rendition brings me to tears, but Oasis is all time classic.

Grabbed the first chance I got to quit the cheer squad, (which I was threatened into, ay'lls know that ain't my thing, at all. Its weird and random, almost as random as drinking tea if you;re not British. HAHA, thanks Neal).
Momma wasn't please, as Sa sustained her knee injury from being a cheerleader (willingly, what fresh hell ?). I was threatened physically and academically, Arts wise, if you catch my drift. After giving up the fight, I felt like I had sold my soul to the Devil himself.
Okay, not really. I just dig the dramatic effect.

Oh, and about everyone being mad at me ? Yea, I was right.
Okay, not everyone, but it might as well have been, cos one of the most important people were mad at me.
Sorrry Casey, sayang me ? ):
I'll make it up to you, thumb wiggle ankle shake. And you know what that means to me.
Hey, guess what ?
Echo misses you. (:

Texts;
Casey (pretending to be some stranger). Me.
"Hey Amanda. I saw you at Sunburst yesterday, and I think you are really hot. I went through alot of trouble getting your number. I would like to get to know you better."
"Hahaha.. okaaay. But who are you ?"
"My name is Buster Casey, but my friends call me Rant."
"I see. I do believe I've already got my Casey. Sorry."
"Why don't you call him then ?"
*dials Caseys' number*

Shudda seen me laugh when I read the first text, man.
I was in the middle of complaining to anyone who would listen (Reuben& Vanilla) about how I hate people, and the way the world works, and how I'm gonna be a carmalite nun.
(I'm seriously reconsidering the last one though, but to an extent.)
The life of a nun is clean and chaste, and frankly, I am none of the above. Well, maybe I'll convert and become a liberal hippie, meaning I will shave, and be bald as a baby(neck down). I'll never feel unloved ever again, because awesome tie-dye clad people will shower me with peace and love.
I think I've gotten slightly carried away.
Next thing you know, I'll be telling you that I have a friend who thinks he's part unicorn, and a dog that eats live birds.
Hang on, everything's gone slightly dejavu-ish.

I love you.
Hey Chello.
It totally sucks that you're going through shit right now, and the fact that I'm not there to kick anybody's ass is just plain shit (I know he's technically on my side of the world, but I'd like to believe that if I were to go to Sarawak, he'd be there too. Cos frankly, I wanna kick his ass, cos he's a butthole for doing what he did.) I'm sorry that all this is fucking with your head, and I'd really like to say he's a waste of your time and not good enough for you, but it's evident that he means something to you. You know I love you with every ounce of my being, simply cos you're my bestfriend, and you mean the world to me. I've got your back no matter what, promise.
Gimme a call when you feel like the sun ain't shininng no more.
Ily. <3.

So, I'm more than likely to fail every subject I'm taking. I'm pretty much buttfucked. Hard.
Momma's not gonna be happy, but I'm not all that freaked out, as it's the first exam, and I'm still getting used to all this new format shit. I know I've gotta study my fat arse off if I really wanna do what I wanna do. I was 5marks short of passing my fucking BM paper. Tskk.

I've got huge bruises all over my body and they hurt like a motha. It actually hurts laugh, cos everytime I do, I feel this searing pain ripping through me. I can barely walk, and I feel like a fucking idiot, cos I gotta keep doubling over every few steps.
Thanks, really. This is what I needed, a lil display of love.

Kay, though I'd love to stay and talk more bollocks, Im feeling the need to crack open a beer, and have a ciggie.
I've got a fucking killer headache.
Vicodin, anyone ?
*wiggles eyesbrows.*
I joke, I joke.

p/s : come to think of it, I'm aching.
You're rapidly becoming very very important to me.

2009-03-22T19:59:00.003+08:00

Why the hell do I feel like everyone hates my guts right now ?
I keep feeling that everyone's mad at me, and my dream did not help either.

I'm all sad and shit, cos I think Casey's mad at me.
Are you ?
I kinda miss you.

I've made my decision.
I'm going to be a Carmalite nun.
No one can hurt me then, cos I won't be able to talk, and I can't communicate with the outside world. AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE WITH A MAN.
I wonder if I can have a kid though.. I hear it's not encouraged.
This is fucken trippy man. I cant deal.

Don't ask me why I feel this way, cos I can't answer that either.

p/s : Even if you are mad at me, pick up ?

2009-03-22T11:19:00.020+08:00

Holy fucking Jesus.

I'm still feeling the effects of last night in my system.
And I do believe I'm partially deaf.
I'm totally lacking sleep, but fuck was it worth it.
Finally left the house at 6, after hours of Sa and Jeremy changing their minds.
Parked at RSC, and walked all the fucking way.
It took us 16minutes, I timed myself. Heh.

Here Chello, as promised.
This is what I wore. (:
Got a call from Casey the minute I stepped into the place, which made me look around for him.
And because I am freakishly awesome, I got him PeanutButterCups.
Mmm, but I forgot to take a picture with him. :/
Met up with Joe for abit after, and we did some catching up, I only ever see the boy during Sunburst.
Much love for the passes babe. (;

Brendan.

Aww, Ray so cuuute.

Ash. Love of my life. (:
Lucky I'm in love with my bestfriiiiend.
Sat hippieestyle on the grass with a beer and some ciggies and listened to Nidji together.
I swear, everytime I see them live, I cry.
I had my Bluewhale to wipe my tears away. (:

Cosmic Kitchen was fucking amazing.
Bum wiggled to Cosmic Kitchen and Estranged with Casey.
"Your pigtail's messing with my face."
BAHAHAHAHAHA.

Guess who I bumped into ?
MIKAAA, baybee.

During Flizzows' performance.
The Sexxgodd.
Or as I say; VanillahKillaSex.

Spotted a very familliar face in the crowd, and it was Pixie.
Threw my arm around his waist and,
"Can I bum a fag, honey ?"

Bumped into Justin in the crowd, and spent some time bum wiggling with him.
Ah, he's so cute.
Kept tryna look for Casey, but I couldn't find him anywhere.
Totalleh disappointing.

Gotta fucking love the Tongs' man.
Tiffanyy.

N.E.R.D.
Fucking amazing performers.
And Pharrell is to be my baby daddy.
Big ups to the bwoy on the way he treated the crowd.
Fucking awesome shit.
I do believe N.E.R.D should come here more often.
I swear, Pharrell's gonna get so much ass in KL.

Iman.
He looks totally adorable in the second pic.

Everyone was so fucking tired after N.E.R.D's performance, so I bummed with Kim and the boys.
And we were all talking about how much we wanna rape Pharrell.
Dudes and chicks alike.
HAHA, joke joke.

GUESS WHO ?
Mafakka got the gig and didn't tell me. Tskk.

Korn.
I was too damn tired to go crazy, and I'm not such a big fan, so it didn't really excite me.
Listened to a few songs, then went looking for Kimmy again.
Watched a few more performances before leaving.

Fuck man, I didn't even wanna leave yet, but of course, the night was all about those two.
So whether I had watched what I wanted to or not, we left. Fuckholes.
And I'm bound to complain, and then he goes on and on about how he just so 'sick of it.'
Fuck you man, I'm fucking sick of you. (:
Left with a frown on my tubby face, cos I didn't get a chance to see Casey at all after that. ):

All in all, it was a fucking good night.
And I'd do it over and over again, bodily harm and everything.

2009-03-21T15:39:00.003+08:00

This isn't just about you.
You couldn't be more selfish, more thoughtless.
Forget you, I dont need this.

So, Sunburst in two hours.
Somehow I'm only excited about seeing Casey. (:

I could really use a smoke right now, to ease the irritation I feel building up inside me.
Maybe a beer or summin.

Bloody hell, it's so fucking hot.
We're all going to meltttttttttttt.

p/s : I wanna hold your hand. (:

2009-03-20T11:36:00.000+08:00

2009-03-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

monster. Magic Junkie said:
HAHAHAH . *ahem* Apologies for the outburst of sudden laughter due to suppressed sexual needs. Mmm, maybe, I think so. I figure it's for the best.
He's the guy I've been needing to meet..but I've been so independent that having someone like him just feels weird...
.mandaLOVER;; pretty like drugs._♥. said:
(:
I know what you mean, I do. Its like feeling that you need undies when you already have them on.
.monster. Magic Junkie says:
exactly!
HAHAH love your example.

2009-03-19T20:57:00.001+08:00

Hi Rant, hiii.
(:

2009-03-19T19:43:00.001+08:00

Really,
That's how you wanna go about it ?
Do it your way then.
I'm fucking through.

2009-03-19T00:19:00.003+08:00

I think I'm finally awake.
Jokes aside.

For the past few months, I've been walking around with my head barely attached to my body, it was so high in the clouds.
Right now, I'm feeling like someone just pulled the world from beneath my feet.
I suddenly feel restless, defenseless and downright senseless, and I don't even know what brought all this on.
Maybe the lack of sleep, or maybe the millions of thoughts and questions running through my head. I'm feeling really unsettled, and I'm so fidgety.

I've been forgetting so many things over the past few months, and when I try to think about everything that's happened, good and bad alike, it feels like I don't have a past. I'd like to believe that it's simply me moving on, and putting things behind me, but it's not.
After all the shit I've been through, I'm not supposed to be this way, I'm supposed to be using all that, to build me into something else, something above the norm. But then again, the higher you get, the harder you'll land on your ass.
But instead, I feel like this naive little girl, who's stupid enough to believe that the world is falling in love with her.
In attempt to find some clarity, and some peace of mind, I threw myself into what I thought was right. Oh, how wrong I was.
Being in the eyes of the world was never much fun, especially when you've got no one to fall back on, and you're out there by yourself. I put the blame solely on my stubbornness, and my unwillingness to meet anybody halfway, thinking that I could get along fine by myself. And for awhile, I did just that, failing to see that it's a long road, and I was bound to get lonely.
Walking away from the people who at one point, I thought I couldn't live without, and who were a huge part of my life, and the decisions I made, knowing fully that they did not do the same for me.
After many nights spent pondering, I realised it was time to move on from all of that, simply cos it wasn't doing me any good at all.
It finally got to a point where I was so tired of having my heart broken in so many different ways.
Nodding my way through conversations, simply because justifying myself and my opinions seemed like too much of a task, becoming sick and tired of having to explain that I'm not difficult nor am I rebellious.
Finally stripped of all emotion, almost like a stage actor with no script, I lay down my sword and walked out. And refusing to show that everytime I walked out, a little part of me just evaporated.

I can't help but wonder if in years to come if I'll still be the same person. Indecisive, unsure and just stuck in the middle.
If the different sides of the world, will change my mind and make my decisions for me.
If I'll still be as thick skinned as I am now, or if the ways of the world, and the harshness of everyday life, will finally get the better of me.
Right now, I'm dying to find that peace of mind, some sort of contentment, just to escape the eye of society, and how the world works.
Honestly, all I wanna do, is walk out into the middle of the ocean, feel the sand between my toes, throw my worries to the wind.
Cliched as it sounds, I think I need to be somewhere, where nobody knows my name.
I guess I'm finally sick and tired, of being sick and tired.

;; they crawl in like a cockroach
leaving babies in my bed,
dropping little reels of tape
to remind me that I'm alone,
playing movies in my head
that make a porno feel like home,
there's a burning in my pride,
a nervous bleeding in my brain.

2009-03-18T17:57:00.006+08:00

So, my date with Madaan went well. (:

Madaan; My very own Rant Casey.

Take one.

Take two.

Take three.
FINALLY, a decent picture.
We were happy with this one.
(nudge nudge, wink wink)

He picked me up at 1ish, and we listened to Bloc Party on the way to MidValley.
And because I am so freakishly awesome, I brought him Fight Club, with a promise that I would pass American Beauty to him the next time.
After like 3minutes of parking, we forgot where we had parked.
Had initially planned to take a picture of the parking bay, but of course, I forgot.
Walked around for abit, and then sat outside and smoked.
I tried to educate him on what a rempit looked like.
Very very funny.

I taught him the thumb wiggle ankle shake. (: In McDonalds, while we were sitting down.
Promise, not as complicated as it sounds.

I swear, we sat at the Raden staircase for over half an hour, just talking.
(dont ask about the raden staircase, seriously)
Our date, pretty much consisted of sitting around, talking and laughing like two weedies.
It was amazing. (:

When we were about to leave, we realized we had no clue where we had parked. At all.
Paid for parking, and took a ride on as what he calls, 'Stairs.'
In the real world, they are called escalators.
But each to his own.
Found the car, hopped in and started taking pictures.
Finally decided to leave the carpark 15minutes later.

On the way home, I told him all my 'Yo Momma' jokes;

"Yo momma so fat, when she closes her eyes, her eyelids clap."
"Yo momma so fat, she had more chins than the chinese phone book."
"Yo momma so fat, when she went to the store and asked for a waterbed, they threw a blanket over the Atlantic ocean."
"Yo momma so fat, when she jumps into the sea, the whales start singing we are family."

How could you not love me ?
Not so much your mom though..

..it's now 7.05pm, and it's time for us to go for dinner. (:

p/s ; eskimo kisses.

2009-03-18T13:55:00.000+08:00

All the boys and all the girls are begging to ifyouseekamy.
(;
Hoyea.

2009-03-15T23:18:00.002+08:00

Dear boys & girls,
Meet my new boyfie,
Mark Isaac. C:

2009-03-14T22:01:00.016+08:00

Exactly one week to sunburst. (:

Mark.
Stole his ciggie right outta his hand. (:
Which led to our stimulating conversation about hippies, and he let me steal his smokes.

Sathia.
Zayna's mantoy. (;

Meet, Zayna.

Ho Huilyn. Love(r) of my life.

Jude.
HAHAHAHA, mafakka.

Fish.

Myicheal.
I steal all his smokes. (:

Vincent, with his fucking killa hair.

Farah & Iman.
Yea, the Chinese in me shining through.

Boondek, baybee.

Last but not least, Caprice.

So, today was pretty fun.
Spent the morning losing my mind with the family, and getting ready.
Was at Sentul by 11.30.
Bummed with Myicheal and Fiona for abit, and then headed for a smoke.

Sat with the boys, as the girls were annoying me.
Then I realised, I couldn't see shit from where we were.

Watched some of the performances, which were pretty kickass.
Some of the some, anyways.
And Redza has a nice ass. HAHAHA.
Spent most of the time with the boys, so I barely paid attention to anything.
I believe I made a shitload of new friends today.
When I say friends, I mean I stole their smokes. (:
Half the people in the pictures I took, were people I had just met.
Am I productive or what, bitches.
The boys were doing security, and so I got Sean to be my date.
And he did a pretty good job at it too.
Ah, my hottstuff.

Couldn't help but hold my breath as the stink of ugly skank walked right through the entrance.
I mean, wasn't there a notice somewhere that said 'No dogs allowed' ?
Tsk (:

Basically, my day consisted of pretty much nothing but bumming and the installation of lung cancer.
And stealing Caprice's hat, which he made me give back afterwards.
Tskk.
Walked out right before OBS, cos I couldn't be bothered to sit in there and listen.
So I bummed outside with Mark (who is so incredibly ahdorable and from Seaport, not that the latter matters), Myicheal, and two other random kids. (: Funn.

In total honesty, I can barely remember what I did yesterday.
So fuck that, look at the pictures.

2009-03-14T18:24:00.005+08:00

Mm, hey.

If I was arsed, I'd upload the pictures, and amuse the lot of you.
But I'm not.
So wait.

Today was fun.
Adn Seany is so adorable.
Tsk.

//edit.
Its not even funny how my butt hurts.
I needa ciggie, homebwoy.

Subway musician : Y'all better be good 'cause Santa Claus only comes once a year. But that's between him and Mrs. Claus.

2009-03-13T18:15:00.000+08:00

I am in shape.
Round is a shape.

I have the body of a god. (;
Buddha.

2009-03-10T22:14:00.003+08:00

I say, let's do this shit.

Its a google verb game created by this Canadian Youtuber called Meme. Basically, all you have to do is go to Google, and type your name followed by the list of verbs below :

[Your name] needs
[Your name] looks
[Your name] says
[Your name] wants
[Your name] does
[Your name] hates
[Your name] asks
[Your name] likes
[Your name] eats
[Your name] wears
[Your name] was
[Your name] loves

and search for the first result that comes out for each search you make, to see what kinda loony weird stuff comes up, just for the fun of it.

Amanda needs : to pee.
Amanda looks : nonchalantly at desperate characters.
Amanda says : goodbye.
Amanda wants : a hug and kiss.
Amanda does : badass hair.
Amanda hates : feet.
Amanda asks : "what would google do ?"
Amanda likes : to write.
Amanda eats : pandas.
Amanda wears : betty blouse.
Amanda was : the birthplace of thomas sterling.
Amanda loves : lesbians.

HAHAHAHA, HOLY JESUS.

Anyways.
Exams aren't all that bad, and I think I'll survive Science. Not so much BM, as I barely studied that shit. I think I ought to stop wasting so much time online.. and sleeping.
Spent the afternoon bumming on the floor and watching tv, then I went to sleep at 5, and I've barely been up for 2hours, and I'm more than ready to go back to sleep.
Crazy fucking thunder just now, literally scared the living daylights out of me.
Ran to Momma and waited for it to stop.
Friendster is gay cos it doesn't allow pictures bigger than two megabytes. How pathetic.
Finally decided to re-customize my blog, as it was getting puhreety bleak.
I've got Literature tomorrow, and if I don't do well, Pn. Sabina will definitely have my head.
Tsk, so much pressure.
And History, balls.

I'm actually starting to think the world is out to get me, how funny is that.
Momma also is adamant that I'm on drugs, cos I sleep too much, and I've got crazy ass moodswings.
When the real fact is just that I'm a growing girl. (:

My fingers smell like burgers, or is it just my brain telling my nose to think my fingers smell like burgers ?
Hmm, these questions do puzzle me.
HAHA. Howell, live and let live.

You know how sick I am of coming online ?
Think.. 13yearold girls who still get Malibu Barbie for birthdays and christmas.
That's a whole new level of sick, if you ask me.

Random conversations with the love of my life;

Chello, Me.
Dude, so what ? I don't know if I'm his girlfriend or not. So freaking confusing man.
I don't think it counts if you don't know about it..
But still.. he cut off his fingernail.
WHAT ?

Dude, now we don't even have to ask boys if they're single, we can just look at their fingernails.
Yea, and then we can say, "Oh you're single !" "How did you know ?" "You have short fingernails."

Ah, you gotta love us.

2009-03-09T20:55:00.004+08:00

I could actually go to sleep right now. It's such a lazy day.
I'm feeling very hazy.

Random statement;
Sweetie, you're beyond pathetic.
I'm laughing at your attempts to hurt me.
Really ? That's the best you can do ?
I actually feel bad for you.
There are no words to describe how disgusting you really are, my skin quite literally crawls when I look at you.
Grow up, you ugly piece of social trash.
Just cos you get off on what I do. (;

Some people are just so pathetic, no ?

Anywhoo, I've been online like, 3 times today. So it's pretty damn boring.
I'm gonna go do something productive.
LIKE SMOKE A CIGGIE !

2009-03-08T23:07:00.005+08:00

I'm so goddamn cranky.
I don't even think this is funny anymore.

I feel like I'm going to freaking break something.
I'm not only cranky.
I'm feeling major rage, like screaming rage.

To top it off, penispeople are annoying me.
Like crazy annoying me.
I'm not your girlfriend, get freaking over it. (:

2009-03-08T14:34:00.003+08:00

MiCHELLE.sickheart says:
Mana pegi ? I was worried man, I thought the crocs got you !
.mandamyLOVER;; echo lawrence && marla singer._♥. says:
No, but the red injuns trydta get me.
MiCHELLE.sickheart says:
Injuns ?
.mandamyLOVER;; echo lawrence && marla singer._♥. says:
Indians.. duh.
MiCHELLE.sickheart says:
Those italian making freaks.
*pasta, I mean.
.mandamyLOVER;; echo lawrence && marla singer._♥. says:
ITALIAN MAKING FREAKS.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MiCHELLE.sickheart says:
HAHAHAHHAHA.
.mandamyLOVER;; echo lawrence && marla singer._♥. says:
YOU FUCKING SPASTIC LA.
MiCHELLE.sickheart says:
*angrily points finger* YOU LA SPASTIC.
.mandamyLOVER;; echo lawrence && marla singer._♥. says:
*grabs finger and bites*

I love this retard, man.

2009-03-03T16:13:00.008+08:00

Oh lookie, rainbooow.
It's name was Slinks.

This was the second shot, after I told Kevin not to stick his hands infrontve the camera.

It's Scott !

Erico.

Kaneyy (:

There's nothing like the end to make you appreciate the beginning.
Talk about mortality sucker punching you.

Mm, hello.
Have got my date with the boys to update on, pictures and all. My Saturday night spent in ISKL. Yada yada. I'm honestly too lazy, but knowing my procrastinator ways, if I don't do it now, I'll never get around to it. I'm awesome like icecubes.

27 / 02 / 09.
Couldn't be arsed to go to school, cos the Japanese were coming, so bummed at home and talked to Eric online. Got Kane to pick me up, cos I was about to lose my mind from being home alone for so long. Headed to Gasing, and bummed at Maxwell with the boys. Totally regretted not buying smokes before going cos Gasing is gay and doesn't sell my smokes. Met this lady who used to work with Daddy which was pretty cool as she was telling me all about him over a few smokes. Nice chick, really.
Kevin was going through the camera with this wide eyed look, which made me walk around to see what he was doing. Left me in fucking stitches, bugger. He refused to take a proper picture with me after that, cos he claimed to be 'traumatized.'
Hopped onto the back of Kane's motorbike, and was home by 5.

28 / 02 / 09.
Sat at home till 2ish, then headed off to Grandma's place. Had to go pick up her car all the way in Bukit Jalil. Old lady got a Viva,which kinda made me smile as just a few days ago, Madaan had told me he had a Viva. The colour, really hurts my eyes, but whatevs. Had something to eat before hijacking Uncle Bib's room to get ready. Was in ISKL by 6.30.
Talked to Shannya and Isaac before heading into the theatre. The whole thing, was phenomenal. The drama reminded me a lil of Fight Club, and the dance was awesome shit. Made me happy.
Like, rubmytummy patmyhead kinda happy, and you know you don't get any happier than that.
Was home by 12, and practically died on my bed.

01/ 01 / 09.
Was up at the buttcrack of dawn, and hid under my covers so Momma wouldn't wake me up to go to church. But in vain.
Headed for class, and went slightly apeshit with Nindy and Dhista.
Almost punched that obese shit in the face when she brought up out supposed 'private' meeting. Private, my ass.
Saw Evan after yonks of the boy being in hiding, and gave him a biiiiig hug. The genius practically picks me up ! Giggled like idiots before heading home.
Watched TV for the rest of the day.

It's now 6.30pm, and I just got the weirdest texts ever. Totalleh made my day.

Evan :
"My love, my love, my love. Goooooooooood morning to you ! My love, ooh, my love. The passion of Justin Timberlake !"

Almost died laughing, and replied :
"Holy Jesus, you're like, an American Idol failure!"

Followed by a text from J :
"Hello beautiful. I just had a dream about you. Weirdest dream I ever fucking had. We owned a weed house and it was the era of the hippies again. Only it was really extreme, and I swear I was trippin out on shrooms or something, cos your arm fell off, and it grew back again. But, all this is weird, cos I'm clean and I think I still have my virginity. PEOPLE CAN'T TAKE THAT IN YOUR DREAMS RIGHT ? Oh Jesus.

Fuck, they made my day.
I should go. Had training for ages today, and I think I left my legs at school.
I'm currently texting Rant Casey. (:

;; Love is spiders on the edge,
and we're hanging by a thread,
connected to the other end of this,
twisted frequency I've spun,
but I don't care,
I'd be happy.

2009-03-02T14:43:00.005+08:00

Daddy got a kick ass new phone.
It's pretty damn cool, kinda like a PDA, but not really.
Awesome shiznit.
Cost the man 400bucks, but it's some shitty chinese thing, so it's definitely not on my list. (:

It's Munzir's birthday today. (:
I love you, babe.
You're amazing, really really.

I think it's time for a haircut.What do you think, Ashweni Carolline Luques ? (:

I'm quite literally counting down the days to Sunburst.
Not all that excited about the ICC concert though, just that I'll be seeing people that I haven't seen in yonks. *beams.

I currently have the hugest headache ever, from just taking a sip of Daddy's coffee.
It's beyond me how people can drink that dishwater.

This is going to be a post consisting of me doing nothing but complain, with every right to.
Why ?
I bruised my back.
I busted my knee.
I have training tomorrow.
I'm getting the flu.
I have to pee, and I'm too lazy to move.
I'm utterly confusuled.
Andndnd, I miss Ash. ):

The last one makes things alot worse.

2009-03-01T21:58:00.000+08:00

SUNBURST IN 19DAYS, HOMEBWOYS.

2009-03-01T20:24:00.003+08:00

Holy shit.
You gotta freaking love Darryl :D

//edit.

Hiiiii Darryl.
I know you're reading thiiis.
I larrrrrrrrrrrrrve you :D

//edit. This is the quote of the damn week la.
darryl says:
Hahahaahahahaahah, ok ok la. Cukup laaa. Must go for confession already la. Gossip is a sin sister ! But its sooo fun.
.mandaLOVER;; echo lawrence && marla singer._♥. says:
Haha, who cares ? Everybody sins, but we're children.
darryl says:
Do I look like a child ? Im like a princess in a overgrown body la.
.mandaLOVER;; echo lawrence && marla singer._♥. says:
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA. A PRINCESS ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

DARRYL IS ACTUALLY A BOY !
I SWEAR.

2009-02-27T20:36:00.003+08:00

"I think I'll just nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Cos as we hear in health class, being pregnant could lead to an infant..."

Holy fuck, I want a hamburger phone.

2009-02-27T13:43:00.000+08:00

You're an ugly whore. (:

2009-02-27T12:02:00.002+08:00

I just heard the perfect song. (:

Her hair is Harlowe gold,
Her lips sweet surprise,
Her hands are never cold,
She's got Bette Davis eyes,
She'll turn her music on you, 
You won't have to think twice,
She's pure as New York snow,
She got Bette Davis eyes.

And she'll tease you,
She'll unease you,
All the better just to please you,
She's precocious and she knows just,
What it takes to make a pro blush,
She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs, 
She's got Bette Davis eyes.

She'll let you take her home,
It whets her appetite,
She'll lay you on her throne,
She got Bette Davis eyes,
She'll take a tumble on you, 
Roll you like you were dice,
Until you come out blue,
She's got Bette Davis eyes.

She'll expose you, when she snows you,
Off your feet with the crumbs she throws you,
She's ferocious and she knows just,
What it takes to make a pro blush,
All the boys think she's a spy,
She's got Bette Davis eyes.

And she'll tease you,
She'll unease you,
All the better just to please ya,
She's precocious, and she knows just,
What it takes to make a pro blush,
All the boys think she's a spy,
She's got Bette Davis eyes.

She'll tease you, 
She'll unease you,
Just to please ya,
She's got Bette Davis eyes,
She'll expose you, when she snows you,
She knows ya,
She's got Bette Davis eyes.

2009-02-25T20:48:00.002+08:00

I know that everyone's opinion on Sunburst is that it's gonna suck.
But in my humble but right opinion, the world will be in order if The Maine perform.
Although I've been listening to them for ages, I've been listening to them more frequently recently, and falling in love with John O' Callaghan.

Freaking godsend, I kid you not. (:
He's beautiful beyond comprehension.

2009-02-23T20:43:00.005+08:00

I've spent the last few days soul searching, and going deeper than I thought I ever could.
Being up till the wee hours of the morn because of my slightly altered sleeping pattern has done me real good.
For the past couple of months, I've been saying that there's something vital missing, and I've spent what follows of that statement, trying to find out and looking anywhere for it, trying to figure what exactly what it was.
And then I realised, walking around aimlessly at 4 in the morning, with the stillness as my only companion, that it wasn't something that was missing. It was just thing huge part of me that I closed off from the world, from everyone.
I built up this wall, not to keep people out, but to see who cared enough to climb over. And of course, nobody did.
Then I figured out that none of that mattered, because when I put that wall up, not only did I block the world out, but also myself.
Funny how that works, no ?
The never ending cycle of events that occured over the course of the past few years, left me with questions in the back of my mind, all of which I left unanswered due to my indifference, exhaustion and probably fear. Yes, definitely fear.
So after everything, I decided, enough of putting myself out on the line for anybody, I've had enough of trying to make everything okay again, when in simple terms, everything is beyond repair.
I finally decided to answer those questions, sitting in the rain at 4am.
It took everything out of me, but accepting that I need to move on, and figure out where to put myself, I jumped in, headfirst, with nothing but my memories. Cos I believe it's truly pointless in just getting your toes wet.
But, my memories will soon fade, much to my discomfort, and I know I'm going to end up feeling like I have no past, people forget and so do I.
Letting go has never been a simple task for me, I have never been the type to let go easily, awkward and painful as they might be, as they give me something to remind myself. They remind me that I can feel all of this, and the mortality of it all makes it beautifully bittersweet.
My inability to get my head out of the clouds most of the time, doesn't exactly make reality a pretty place. After everything I've been through, the real world vulgarity still manages to seep into my veins like heroin, and gets to my head, deflating my thoughts of there ever being a means of escape. But then again, being numb is no fun anymore.
There is this huge part of me, that is unwilling for anything to fuck up. And there's this small part of me, a part that I find growing slightly bigger everyday, that wants everything to crash and burn, just so I'll have that reminder. So I'll have that feeling of being invincible for a little while.
That knowing that there's nothing more that can affect me for that brief period.
I'd love to feel something different, something to wake me up. I haven't had anything, or anyone do this for me in a long time.
Now, the last question I answered for myself, didn't seem like a hard one at all once I read it.
Till it got me thinking.
"Should I give up the search ?"
After hours of pondering, I decided the answer is no.
Why ?
Because if I gave up on the search, there would be nothing to keep me from spiraling out of control. More than I already have.
Eventhough this particular search, could lead to the worst downfall I will ever experience, it could also lead to that part of me that I've been looking for.
And if it doesn't, well then, I'll just have to rethink my answer.
Simple as that.
In my head, everything seems so complex, when it really isn't in black and white.
Laying it all down makes me feel like I've accmplished something great, and small as it may seem, it's welcomed by me.
What I'm getting at is, I'm tired of being numb.
And I do believe after over a year of just not caring, it's about time I started feeling something but indifference. Little by little, I'm going to be taking that wall down, with no help from anyone else, simply because I don't want any.
I'm unfolding myself, and while I'm doing this, I'm showing myself to you.

2009-02-22T12:51:00.004+08:00

You're so fucking stupid.
Just because you think that way,
and just because the people you know are fucked up,
does not mean its the same for me.
So a big fuck you, right in your face.
I'm so sick of you.
Go fucking choke on cyanide.

2009-02-21T16:14:00.002+08:00

You know my family has a history of obese dogs.. and people.
But.. I've got the awesomest dog ever, besides Duchess. Who is still obese, but was stolen by that stupid fat man we call Daddy. Haha, joke.
The previous owners were the biggest douche bags on the face of the universe, and now he's stuck with a pathetic name; Girshwen.
My god, if I knew them, I would've hit them with a bargepole.
But still, Happy happy fat dog. (:

2009-02-20T23:42:00.002+08:00

The funniest thing just happened.

Sam was hitting me with the pillow, then the pillow flew out the window, and it is now sitting in a tree.
Holy jesus, I'm peeing myself with laughter.

2009-02-20T18:09:00.002+08:00

Hi Firdy.
You lieded to me.

But I still love you like a fatkid loves cake.

2009-02-19T21:21:00.001+08:00

Hmm.

If one of those fluffy things is called a pompom, are two of those fluffy things called pompompompoms ?

2009-02-18T17:39:00.001+08:00

Everything about life seems so much better when you're not wearing pants. (:

2009-02-17T22:34:00.002+08:00

That Alfie kid is so cuuute.
Eventhough he's a dad. :/

Wow.
And Momma thinks it's bad that I smoke.
English kids are freakishly productive.
Now them kids can get jobs ! :D

2009-02-17T18:27:00.002+08:00

Talking to Kimmy lastnight really made things better for me.

Spent over an hour on the phone to the girl before her phone went apeshit.
I've totally missed spending hours upon hours just sitting around, and catching up.
I adore how talking to Kimmy makes me open my eyes, and realise so much.
No matter what, babes. I'm always here for you.
And I know whatever decision you make will be the right one, and I've always got your back, dont forget that.

You're one of the most important people in my life, and the fact that I don't see you often enough, is total shit, cos eventhough you don't know it, you're pretty much my backbone.
You're loved, babe. Really really. (:

2009-02-15T16:25:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to think I should glue my feet to the ground.
Like a did sometime ago.
Wasn't the smartest move, but hell was that fun shit.

Why, you may ask ?
Simply cos the world is round. Or spherical.
Whatever.

Almost sat on the straightening iron in Momma's room, not cool bitch.

I've decided to talk about my resolutions.
Every year for the past three years, I've had the same resolutions.
Stop smoking.
Watch more of the Simpsons.
And run around naked more often.

Two of which have been accomplished.
The smoking thing ?
Not so much.
Think permanent lung damage.
On the bright side, I haven't killed anyone, or anything with my atrocious driving.
*does it borat style* great success !

2009-02-14T21:22:00.000+08:00

Ahh fuck, I love Martin Johnson.

2009-02-14T14:01:00.004+08:00

Ah, Vday. Or more appropriately known as Single Awareness Day.
I think thats pretty fitting.
I guess those little teddy bears make people happy, for some deranged reason.
As I say this, the two thoughts going through my head are that there's some sort of bug hiding in your roses.
Or that you choke during dinner, and spit up all over your date. :D

Spent the day fixing up the car with Mama, and watching Sa at ISKL.

Was up till 2ish, talking to Madaan, who is my Rant Casey.
Hello, future boyfriend ?

2009-02-13T12:28:00.001+08:00

I'm home alone, and I'm going to die.
Joy unbounded, where's the love at ?

2009-02-11T21:58:00.003+08:00

Mon & I.
But whats new.

"AN. ELEVEN. YEAR. OLD. GIRL. JUST. WON. ONE. MILLION. US. DOLLARS. THAT STUPID HOEBAG."
"MY MUMS WATCHING IT !"
"Holy shitcakes."
"Manda, you just called an eleven year old a hoebag."
"So ?"

2009-02-11T21:26:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, I dont know what to do with myself.
I'm so bored, I might just slit my wrists.

On another note, I totalleh kicked bum at teaching myself how to drive.
Decided to pull a totalleh Malaysian move, and park in the middle of the road, and call someone.
SYADIL. Was kinda freaking out after awhile, so decided I should probably get someone who knows what their doing to teach me. Texted Josh too, but figured he'd be in college, which I later found out, he had skipped halfday, to go to AC.
Yea, productive people, no kidding.
But since I am such a loser, I restricted myself to just driving around in circles, in the carpark. And I fucking rock at parking.
Somewhat, anyways.
What would I know, right.
Fascist bashhturds.

And since Sa has spare keys, it's gonna be a shitload of fun. (:
I'm going to officially teach myself how to drive everyday now.
I think I earned myself a pat on the head.
But Dy and Ma weren't as please as I was, so..

Well, I'm going to go do something productive.
Like, talk to Joe about SB !

p/s : kay, lets pretend that I actually do care. my god, could your head get any bigger ? The things you say, so contradictive. Very apparent, that your little world, if you could even call it that, revolves around what happened. I'd tell you to start using your brains, but that would be seemingly inpossible, and somewhat challenging for you, as your IQ would, frankly put, match up to your shoe size, if that. Howre youre completely unaware of the fact that people just dont give a shit about LITTLE people like you, is disappointing, but exactly like you.
edit//
Why am I not surprised, that you pulled such a classic stupid move ?
Hahahaha, really la, girl, you make me laugh.
Change everything to make it seem like you're in the right.
Okay, keep playing your game, eventhough you're already, very apparently losing. (;

2009-02-10T20:42:00.003+08:00

OH, LOOK WHAT I LEARNED !

"Whiners are wieners !"

HAHAHAHA.

2009-02-09T21:12:00.004+08:00

I taught myself to kinda drive today.
Proud of me, or what ?
HAHAHA. I just went in and out of the parking bay.
I'm such a loser. (:
But I'm totalleh doing that shit again.
Only, you know.. in a much bigger area, and with me, not giggling so much.

And I convinced Josh to SHAVE today, cos he had a weasel under his nose.
Ah, so cuuute, he is. (;

I'm currently listening to Al Green.
Mm, soothing my soul, baybee.
I kid you not.

I finally got myself a bolster, after Momma threw away my old one.
Oh big whoop,it was all broken, yadda yadda. ):

Chello,
I misseded youu.

2009-02-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

149,370 People

Holy shitcakes.
I killed them !

2009-02-08T15:51:00.002+08:00

Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg.

I swear, someone could come up to me and attempt to to stick a grenade in my mouth, I would still be ecstatic, and pissing my pants.
You know why ?
You know why ?
You know why ?
You wanna know why ?

COS I GOT SUNBURST TICKETS, BEEYOTCH.

You know how orgasmic-ly awesome that is ?
Cos I do.

Okay, so this year's lineup aint as good as lastyears, but lets be realistic, puhreety much nothing can top Incubus. (:
Am totalleh looking forward to seeing Joe again, though.
Oh oh, Sa & I are gonna be on our own ! (:

I'm PMS-ing like a bitch, I tell you.
But, on the bright side, I'm watching Alvin & The Chipmunks.
So cuuuuute. (:

p/s : I am so over all this.
pp / s : I'm killing myself for a dog. I waaaant one so bad. I miss my big baby laa.
ppp / s : No, I dont do Valentines. (:

2009-02-07T17:11:00.003+08:00

Fuck you.
I am so sick and tired of all your fucking bullshit.
Of how you throw your shit in my face.
Youre having a bad day, go fucking break your knuckles against the wall.
Newsflash, I am not your fucking wall.
I fucking hate you making comments about how I 'patronize' you, when all I do is ask.
It is common courtesy.
Keep screaming, scream till your throat fucking bleeds, I just dont give a fuck anymore.

Everytime, I feel like slitting my throat, just so I dont have to fucking listen to you.
This, all of this, has got to fucking stop.
Before I lose my fucking mind.

2009-02-06T18:39:00.002+08:00

I'm plonked infrontve the tv watching some Indonesian shit drama, losing all feeling of my bum.
Amazing right ?
Have you seen my bum ?
It is HUUUGE, mafakka.

Okay, hi.
Indecencies aside.
I'm totalleh looking forward to the long weekend, which by my rules, are going to consist of pretty much nothing, but sleeping.
Come to think of it, I could totalleh go to sleep right now, but I am beside myself with hunger, result of not consuming anything proper since day before yesterday.
EAT MANDA, EAT. Goddammit.

I have missed going gila on the back of Kane's motorbike.
Have you ever been on the back of a bike ?
Fuun, bitch, fuuun.

I have nothing to blog about.
I command all of you to go bore yourself with something else :D

And I think I got a marriage proposal.
Ugh, whatevs.
I'm so over boys.
Lets find me a girlfriend, baybee.

2009-02-05T20:43:00.002+08:00

I realised how much I hate guys who leave the toilet seat up.
How weird, right ?

2009-02-05T15:29:00.003+08:00

Once they shove religion in your face, society doesn't have the balls to look past that.

Hii.
Wow, blogging no longer feels like something I wanna do. It feels like an obligation.
But it's prolly cos I'm just so damn tired.
And my toes are numb. Fabulous.
HAHAH.

Been texting Arai everyday, just cos I miss him (:
Getting in touch with the people who had fallen off the face of the universe (not that I helped much, with my shitty skills and keeping intouch), is funn. (:

Being on the field everyday, has not as such helped my skin much.
I am now as dark as night, joy unbounded.

Saw Kaney yesterday (and yes, I totalleh nicked his watch again).
He told me to stop disappearing.
I admittedly have lots a few kgs since the new year, but nothing I'm happy with yet.
So, sorry honey. (;

I miss Ash laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Hesh. ):

p/s : holy shitcakes, you are repulsively pathetic ! (:

2009-02-04T20:36:00.000+08:00

Holy Jesus, I am so fucking tired.
And I'm black.

2009-02-04T02:37:00.003+08:00

Slightly overdue.

Happy birthday,
Mohammad Al-Araff Zahil Shah.
youre amazing and I adore you.

On another hand it's almost 3am, and I've kinda just woken up.
Fuck me.

2009-02-02T22:34:00.002+08:00

Nur Adzwan bin Zainuddin
&&
Ahmad Haikal bin Ahmad Nasar.

Heeheee. Puas da ?

2009-02-02T21:52:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in awhile.

After bumming at Kannas with my boys, I came home and bummed till it was time to go to church. I've always hated 5.30mass, but Sa was reading. Got a text from Ash, literally after being seated for 5minutes, cos (surprisingly) she was in church too. Sam and I had like, a furious case of the giggles, which kept us choking back laughter all throughout mass, even when Sa was reading, which led Ash to text me, saying :
"Stop laughing at her, bitch."
Which almost made me pee my pants. Saw Ash after mass, and threw my arms around my little oompa looma.

(I am still totally serious. So how, beautiful ? Wanna date me ?
And no, I have no shame. Loveyoulah.)

In the car on the way home, Lewis calls, telling me he's coming over. Had actually planned on seeing him earlier in the week, but plans fuckedup. He was over by 7.
Lay in bed and talked. The last time I saw him, it was still slightly awkward, but was totally at ease lying next to him. I missed him so much, it actually hurt. Barely even realised that we'd been in bed for over 2hours, till Momma knocked on my door. Walked him down, and in the middle of the road, the boy picked me up. I loved how it felt like we were in our own world again.
I love you, Lew. (:

p/s : "I love closing my eyes, and knowing youll be there when I open them. You dont know how many times I closed my eyes and you were there, and when I opened my eyes, you were gone."
Funny how a few months ago, that would've meant something to me. But not anymore.

2009-02-01T14:25:00.003+08:00

Keith Jason Pinto & Eric Noel Hendroff.
Fuck, I love my boys. (:
Bumming in Kannas after class with the boys.
Sat at Kannas for over 2hours, just catching up.
I didnt realise how much I missed these kids. (:

When I came home, Sa though it'd be funny to lock Sam and I on her balcony, and call us her 'pets.'
Lovely isnt she ?
Loveyoulah.
<3

2009-01-31T21:59:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, was fuuuun. (:

Got a call from Justin while I was still in my jammies, asking if he could come over.
Apparently, the boy was barely even awake. Funny kid.
Kinda figured that he'd be with Benji, as the two practically live together. Fuuun, I'd likta move in, no doubt.
The boys were over by 12.
Bummed in my room for abit, laughing our asses off at the fact that Benji was beside himself with amusement playing with my Orgasmatron. (:
After about 20minutes of deciding where to go (which is one thing I hate; sitting around deciding where to go, what to do), we finally decided on the first random mamak we saw, which was of course, Vargina. Which got the boys into another fit of stitches, all.over.again.
Sat in Justin's car for about 20 minutes, talking and getting happy.
I swear, the boys take forever to freakin eat.
We sat at Vargina for over 2hours just talking and laughing.
My god, when I had to pee, someone tried to break into the toilet.
Benji, being in the state that he was, almost fell outta his chair laughing. Stupid bugger.
Bummed abit more, before getting Sa some food and heading home.
I swear, those kids made my week. (:

I know have a black nose.
Why, you may ask ?
Cos Ive got a pore pack on it.
Fuuuun.
//edit.
My god, pulling that off hurt like a mutha.