Howdy, world.

The whole of today, I've felt as if something's outta place.
Oddly, I remember feeling this way last night, after hanging up on Za.
Whatever, I have Chelle, who is coming home tomorrow night. (:

I swear, my house is stocked with chocolate, icecream and anything that could clog your arteries, I kid you not. I can't open any cupboard without food spilling out onto my head.
I don't think any of us will be able to fit out of the door by the time Christmas is over.
I am now eating Unagi. Yummy, yummy. I liiiike sushi, *rubs tummy&pats head.
*chants. I am a round, happy child. Ohm. Ohm. Ohm.

Random thoughts of the day;

• I'm wondering if we ever existed.
• Was talking to Lewis lastnight for about 2hours, and I promise he was completely sober. It was nice, and so I decided to take advantage of the situation, and I asked him,
  "I have a really important question to ask you. Okay, not that important. But do you think that we'd still be going out now ?"
  "I don't know, probably if we didn't fuck up so much."
  "Bahaha, we were pretty dysfunctional. I think (insert name of girlfriend who will without a doubt kill me, times two) hates me with a passion now."
  "Only because I loved you more than I loved her."
  "Aw, Lew."
  "I know you're smiling because I can always tell by your voice."
  "I've missed you, kid. (:"
  And that's how our conversation went. I really have missed that kid, and it felt really good having a lil bit of my past back, comforting.
• I still can't see myself doing the whole white wedding thing. I can, however, see myself with a kid. (:
• I want to runaway with Za, and build forts with him.
• I am dying to see Bitchinia, so we can go crazy, and get into the Kissmas spirit together.
• I know all of this is worth it, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with all the drama. And now, I'm stuck wondering whatif and maybe.
• I am a trainwreck of relationship disasters.

;; what we could've been,
what we should've been.