Let's amuse me.

Black guy #1 : Nigga, fuck you ! I'm straight.
Black guy #2 : Nigga..you're straight gay.

Queer to friend : What sign are you?
Friend : Leo.
Queer : Oh, good. I decided that I am going to base what I think of people based on their astrological signs, and I hate Geminis'. Like, if I adopt a baby and it's a Gemini, I'm going to give it back!

Girl : Well, if there's going to be another girl, there has to be another guy too.
Guy : Hell no ! Ain't no other dude putting his sausage in your jay-jay!

Dominican #1 : But I'm a Jew, man!
Dominican #2 : You're a Jew?
Dominican #1 : Shit yeah.
Dominican #2 : Man, I didn't know there was any Jewish Dominicans.
Dominican #1 : Not that kind of Jew. You ever met a Dominican Jew ? Dominicans aren't Jews ! I just feel Jewish, man. My whole life I've been feelin' Jewish like that. You know, like if there's a penny on the street, I pick it up!

Guy #1 : You must be Italian.
Guy #2 : Uh...no, I'm Jewish.
Guy #1 : Are you sure? You really look Italian.
Guy #2 : Of course I'm sure. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Guy #3 : I don't like where this is going.

Guy to woman with baby strapped to her chest : Your baby looks like a little Yoda.
Woman : That's what my husband said.
Husband : No, I said she looks like Obi-Wan.

Girl #1 : I really need to get fit, I need to buy a tredmill, you know, so I can just sit there and use it.
Girl #2 : Yeah, me too.
(this sounds so much like Chelle & I, we have treadmills, but we use them to play)

NYU girl : There's not enough time. You can't get lunch.
NYU boy (running towards a hot dog cart) : I can. I'm hungry!
NYU girl (shouting after him) : You're fat!

Neighbor #1 : Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2 : Knee socks? Or any socks?
Neighbor #1 : Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2 : No.
Neighbor #1 : Do you have knee socks?
Neighbor #2 : No.

Tina Fey scares me.
Jeremy is a dirty boy. He just noogied me, with his foot.

;; could this be out of line ?
to say you're the only one,
breaking me down like this,
you're the only one,
I would take a shot on,
keep me hanging on,
so contagiously.