I am bored beyond my comprehension.
I could eat a live duck.
But I wont. I like ducks.
Quack.

I'm sleepy, and I'm feeling a tad quiet.
Quack.

Somebody call me, or something.
Ash has abandoned me, yet again.
It's fine, really. She don't love me no more.
You hear that, small fart ?!
I am now feeling neglected.
All your fault.
*sticks out tongue.

I have nice torn pajama pants, that I dont plan on stepping out of anytime soon.
I'm flat broke, and I need to pay my phonebill.
Or else, Im so totally screwed.
I think I need to marry a millionaire, or I will be in debt by the time I'm 18.
That's not too far from now, actually.
I'm probably in debt already. Bollocks.

I'm actually contemplating getting a job, or starting my own real fake college.
Wow, I'd be riiiiiich.
Quack.

I miss my male Ash.
Quack.
Yes, he has a peeenis.

Oh Oh Oh !
I wanted to be first :D

Happy birthday, Eric Noel Hendroff baby.
I love youu, and you know it.

I hope you have a fanfuckingtastic day, boy.
We both know you deserve it.
Oh, and I miss you. (:

Quarantine is fucking awesome.

Beats The Hills Have Eyes, I Am Legend and 28 Days / Weeks Later.
I love zombies.

Moving on, it's really funny how people get sick of each other in a matter of moments, aye. (:

;; what if I ripped your heart apart at the seams,
baby then you'd know how it feels.

Miracle in a jar, I swear to God. It may look like complete gunk, but it's magic. 10minutes on my head, and it did wonders, I could cry.

As you can tell, my hair was in a very very very bad mood today. Result, I put Sa's underwear on my head to conceal the horror of horrors. There were monstor knots in my hair, that I was too damn lazy to undo. This, result of sleeping on Sa's hard wooden floor two nights in a row, watching movies. This was of course, pre gunk. I just got too lazy to rearrange the pictures.
So this is what we did ;

Camwhored and juiced all over Sa's balcony. I still think I should've gotten that room, with the balcony, but the fatlady sang. By fatlady, I mean Sa. (:

Anywhoo, with my hair looking all pretty and whatnot, I decided to camwhore and juice myself ;
"If you would be my punkrockprincess, I would be your garagebandking,
You can tell me how you just dont fit in,
And how you're gonna be something.
And if I could be your first real heartache,
I would do it over again."

Yes, this is how I spend my days. And since I'm in the music mood, half my post is going to be made up of lyircs of random songs. (:

Let's spend tonight on top of the world,
And we can do anything,
We can be anything,
I'll meet you tonight on top of the world,
As real as it seems,
You're only in my dreams.

My heart is empty without you,
Sometimes you don't know what you do,
And I need you tonight,
I'll fall asleep and it's alright,
Close my eyes and I'll be by your side.

Oh, we girls love a typical toilet run.

mm, hey.

Finally home, and somewhat safe from the dusty polluted world.
I've had quite an.. eventful day, if you could call it that.
Headed to Midvalley cos the patients of The Asylum felt like watching a movie. Out.
Dragged myself into the shower and got yelled at cos I was sitting down. Big whoop.
Watched High School Musical 3, believe it or not.
I have to say it was much better than the first two.
Okay, maybe it was just better cos I was with all the monkeys, and Jeremy kept passing stupid comments that made us laugh, but it was loud enough for the whole cinema to hear. I could hear a few exasperated sighs from the rows behind us, which made me laugh even more while sinking into my seat. Melissa cried. She bloody cried. Watching HSM3, she cried. I still cant wrap my mind around it, it's so hilarious.
Got out of the movie, and spent about a half hour with Vincent and his friend(who blatantly stares at my tits every opportunity he gets) playing pool. I miss playing pool with Rubesh. He lets me cheat.
Came home, and I've been online ever since. Decided to go through my FB. Apparently, my new relationship status has caused quite a riot among my friends. Its rather hilarious. Laughed my butt off at what people were saying. Facebook, facebook. Tsk.
Couldnt help but reread my wall, something I havent done in quite a while.
Made me realise just how much I miss you.

"Hey handsome."

I'm sorry. Forgive me ?

I'd normally call, but i'm a tad stubborn, and you've been MIA all day.

So I thought I'd post it here, cos I know how much you like being blogged about.

Morning. (:
I'm fine, thank you.
I'm watching TV, like I have been for the last two hours. On my round toosh, drinking Yakult.
I'm pretty much still asleep in my head, just the way I like it.
There's nothing for me to do, but sit infront of the TV, and die slowly inside. Heehee.

EVeryone went out last night, leaving me to fend for myself at home. I refused to move, even to pee. Watched Fight Club, and it was fucking amazing. I am officially in love with Tyler Durden. Omg, I swear besides Oceans, I have never loved Brad Pitt more in any other roll.
Over the past few days, I've been watching movie after movie, I watched American Beauty.
It's by far, the weirdest movie I have ever watched in my life, but I adore it. I shall make each and every person I know, watch my movies. Why ? Because I'm awesome.

Melissa and Jeremy are one step closer to being a fullon lesbian couple. Imagine my horror, when I walked in on Jeremy in a face mask. My face mask. My peppermint face mask.It was quite literally a sight for sore eyes. I woke up feeling slightly bummed out, but seeing Jeremy like that really bloody made my day.

Had trouble sleeping last night, so I tried Chello's method, guzzling down bottles of cough medication. It worked, I slept like a baby. It was like 11 something, and that shit is prety good at making me flyyy.
As Pixie says ;
Piow piow ! You dieded dy. Really one. *big cheesy grin.

Okay, we're going out soon, and I have't showered. :D
I didn't shower lastnight either, heeheee.

I'm sick and I'm tired.
I'm sad and overwhelmed.


What a fantastic way to start a post, dontcha think ?
Honestly, I'm tired of having to deal with all of this emotional baggage, which might I add, is totally unnecessary. I've been trying my hardest to make decent decisions that might actually benefit me, but somehow without realising, I get ahead of myself, and the consequences are just the same.
Giving up the fight sounds like a good idea right about now, as I'm constantly left tired and emotionally drained ten times over, but I can't. Giving up would mean I've got nothing to lose, and I know I've got more than alot to lose, regardless of if I acknowledge this or not. This fog that has clouded my judgment for so long has still ceased to lift, leaving me with no peace of mind. I've exhausted myself trying to figure what wouldn't end badly for me, and seemingly, there is no such thing. As the pessimist in me shines through, I have yet again proven to myself and those around me, that maybe I am not as strong as I'd like to believe I am. I've let my guard down alot more than I should've, and thus proving that I am the only one to blame for the hurt I feel after. My total carelessness in making decisions, when I am only thinking of the other person.

Over the course of the last few months, I have somewhat grown in the pain that held me back for so long, this helping to mould me, but yet it displays the toll it has taken on me, through my daily routines and the way I come across. It has never bothered me, what other people think, but yet, for my scars and my thoughts to be placed out in the open for it to be picked apart by the eye of society does nothing to calm the storm that is raging in my chest.

I'm seemingly ripping at the seams, coming apart, much to my dislike. But with my hardheadedness, I refuse to step down and admit defeat, regardless of how bruised and battered I am. The fact that I'm running a fever that's probably going to end up frying all my brain cells, my body is literally bruised, I'm practically starving but can't bring myself to eat without tasting bile in the back of my throat, does nothing to help my cause.

I've done nothing so far but take one step forward and two steps back, over and over again, so much so it has become apart of my daily routine, and I've worked myself to the core trying to figure out exactly what I've been doing wrong.

Exboyfs have been popping up all over the place much to my discomfort, but never the less, it made me realise just how much I've missed being what I was last year. It used to be easy for me to just let go, and recover in a wave of herbal smoke, but yet again, the one right decision I made actually led to me learning the hard way ; Dealing with my problems without any help from anything other than myself. Tiring as it may seem, it has currently ceased working, as the rest of me has.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, it feels like this was long coming. My inability to drown out this voice that rings in my ears everysingletime I fuck up, is becoming just another one of those failures that I live with each and every day. No, I don't mean to sound like the typicaldramaticteen, but everything I've been doing has turned sour in a matter of seconds, making me feel inadequate, compared to what I used to accomplish back when I wasn't so intricately insane.

I fear that the knockout is coming, sooner than I expect it to. I'm bracing myself for it, instead of walking away like the sensible person would do. I've distanced myself so much from the things and the people I used to adore, just to prove that it wont hurt as much.

I'm just sick and I'm tired.

;; theres a burning in my pride,

a nervous bleeding in my brain,

an ounce of peace is all I want,

will you never call again.

mm, hey.

I know I've been giving you no good updates on what I've been up to.
I am now swooning listening to Jason Nozuka. Mm, hello boyfriend.
Have been going crazy configuring my stupid laptop, it's such a hassle having to download everything all over again, I'm not enjoying this. Tis agony, I swear.
Haven't been too well either, and probably doesn't help that I've been out everyday. Momma says we treat home like a hotel. Teehee. Bitchy Woman is leaving next Sunday, which means I shall have to survive The Asylum without her. Only for a couple of weeks, hopefully.
I keep bumping into people I think I know, but can't remember. It's getting very infuriating.
Chloe is coming back on the 12th of December, and I can't wait to see that lady. I don't think I've ever been sober around her, we always end up drinking.

Momma abandoned the lot of us and went out with Uncle Urs for dindin, so we officially have nothing to do with ourselves. Had actually planned on driving around KL again, but it's raining like crazy, so we decided against it.

Oh, eventhough I've already said it, I got my laptop reformatted, and I honestly thought I had backed up all my data. But when I got my laptop back, I couldn't open half of them. Pictures and music are safe, but everything else isn't. I kept all my written pieces in a folder, but after reformatting the damn thing, I don't have the program, so all my work is buggered.

Bloggers block, fuck me.

;; two lonely people together.

Food. (: We were taking pictures, not realising that the rempits behind the counter were laughing their asses off at us.

Yea, we got bored waiting around. So we took pictures. I swear I heard a few sniggers in the back.

Instead of jumping on the Monorail to go home, we took the bus. For the first time in our lives. Well, Chinia's and mine anyway. I've never been on anything other than the one time I went to pick someone up from school. And that was a school bus. Shuttap, shuttap. We were way too excited, so much so, I think I scared quite a few people with the way I was grinning. Totally redefined ear to ear grin.

Ah, our very interesting day out. We have been marked with the stench of KL, foreal this time. Everyone wanted to head to Times Square to play on the rides, and as per usual, we didn't have a ride. Which leads to my argument of wanting a car, and a personal instructor, but noo, Momma won't let me, as I'm a danger to the population even on my feet. Its amazing I even have any self esteem left, really. Anywhoo, had actually planned on taking a cab to the train station, then going to Sentral then jumping on the Monorail to Times Square. Which we did.

Got there, but headed to Cycom first to get my damn laptop reformatted. I think it's a sign from God, cos I'm always downloading shit illegally. I tell you, it's the second time this year itself that I've had to have my laptop reformatted. Ugh. Had a bite to eat, then headed to the Theme Park. And no, that did not end well, trust me. We are idiots who think we defy the laws of gravity, seriously. Had our fun, and bruised ourselves all over. I now have a bruise the size of damn Africa on my bum. And no, I am not kidding. I can't sit properly. Had alot of giggles, and felt like a twoyearold. A very tall twoyearold. I haven't felt that way in a long while, and I was enjoying every minute of it, no doubt. So was everyone else. Can just tell, you know ?

Our means of travelling was way fun. I know I come across as some total priss who doesn't understand the way alot of people travel, but seriously, I wouldn't mind jumping on the trains again. I, for one, did not enjoy the smell of.. er, okay, the stink of the people on the bus. All I need are noseplugs, and I'll be good to go.

I think I should start reading Twilight. Chinia keeps telling me about everything in the book, and we actually spent over halfanhour talking about it yesterday, and I think it sounds pretty awesome. I am now delusional with exhaustion.

Chinia : All this smoking is making my throat hurt even more.

Me : Then don't smoke. Duh.

Chinia : *looks at me funny* Kay, Imma talk to you when you're not delusional.

;; your lips, your eyelashes, your skin,

these are the parts of your body that cause my comatose to begin.