Hello. (:
Woke up at 12 today, because my tummy kept rumbling.
Believe it or not, I'm still dead tired.
My body timing is off, way off. Again.

Random statement;
I've been ignoring my phone, cos I'm feeling exceptionally bummed out lately. I've said this multiple times already, but for those who are extremely dense or just plain fucking stupid, I will say it again. Leave me the fuck alone, and give me time to come around. The more you push me, or beg me to talk to you, the more I'm going to fucking walk away. No, I'm not sombong, I'm just not fucking interested in talking to you.
Thankyou,gofuckyourself.
(:

Moving on, (:
Was supposed to meet Firdy for lunch today, but I woke up too late, with 13misscalls from him.
Heh, sorry, love. (;

I feel like running. Za's mini holiday sounds so tempting right now.
I need to get away from all this madness, all the heartache, and I also really like the apartment.
We're gonna build forts, he's going to cook for me and spoil me absolutely rotten.
Why ? Because Za believes that I need to spoiled and showed that I'm loved, as I'm always complaining about how nobody loves me. He thinks I'm in desperate need of whisking away, and I actually quite agree.
You will never imagine the amount of days I have gone without a hug.
A long long time, and I think I'm shrivelling up, from the inside of course. Heh.

Love you, Zee Man.
Yous my superhero.

He's also been keeping me company when the insomnia kicks in, so for the past few nights, he has been my buddy. We get talking about random stuff, usually, and he tells me lame ass jokes, and fire with my lame ass ammo, yes, we are the dynamic duo, fo sho.

Za : I've been working out alot la, and I'm on a strict diet.
Me : Why, Za, WHY ?!
Za : I need to be skinny la.
Me : But I hope you haven't lost your bum la. You honestly have the nicest, roundest bum ever, and I dig that.
Za : Oh, don't worry bebeh, I'm still bootylicious.
Me : *dies laughing.
Za : What what ?
Me : I swear to god, I never thought I'd hear straight guy say that.
Za : But I am, what ?

Za : I have a nicer firmer bum now.
Me : Meh, I liked your old bum.
Za : Eiyer. Its firm now, so it's nice to spank. *makes the sound of a cracking whip.
Me : And you would know this because you spank yourself.
Za : Yea la, only sometimes la, when I'm admiring myself.
Me : BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Za : Eh, don't tell anybody ah. It's for your ears only.
Me : Hells no, Za. This is going on my blog.
This is why the world loves Za, me espcially.

Oh, and Lewis called again yesterday, and we talked about our bellybuttons, and Buddhabellies.
Oh, you know we make you squirt. (:

Ooh, I think I'm meeting Meer now.
Byebye, dumbfucks.

;; forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling,

I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
but have you seen this girl ?
she's been running through my dreams,
and it's driving me crazy, it seems,
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.

mm, hey.

Wow, I feel hazy.
Haven't had much sleep these past few days, and it's really getting on my nerves.
And I've got a fucking fever, which I can blame on the rain.
Was up at 12, and ran in the rain, just cos I felt like it. (:
And now, I have a goddamn fever.
Karma, you say ?
Shut yer face.

Headed to Bangsar after what feels like years of not going there. It was actually pretty nice, all Christmassy and ish. Mama wanted to do abit of shopping, so the bunch of us tagged along, and amused ourselves.
Alcohol all over the place, so Ma & I decided to try as many wines as we could(I know, I know, not the smartest idea, it's Christmas, mafakkas). The salespeople were so amused with us.

Didn't realise just how hungry I was from not eating anything since lunch day before, so called Daddy and told him to meet the lot of us at Dome. Filled my tummy, and I swear I am twice as round as I was yesterday. And that is saying something.

I need new kicks.
I also need money.
Talk about dry season(in more ways than one, I swear to god).
I need LOVE. Someone love me, please ?
I think I may shrivel up and die from lack of love. ):
Nobody loves meeeeeeee. *sobs.

Oh, oh !
Araff got a blog.
Looooser.
Ahaha, love you, bubble boy !

;; you say you wanted more,
what are you waiting for ?
I'm not running from you.

All I want to do is make poetry famous,
all want to do is burn my initials into the sun,
all i want to do is read poetry from the middle of a
burning building standing in the fast lane of the
Empire State Building,
the literary world sucks dead dog dick.

I'd rather be Richard Speck than Manda Johnson,
I'd rather ride a rocketship to hell
than a ride in my mum's fuckin car to penang,
I'd rather sell arms to the Martians,
then wait sullenly for a letter from some diseased clown with a
three- piece mind telling me that I've won a
bullet-proof pair of rose coloure glasses
for my poem "Autumn in the Spring."

I want to be hated by everyone who teaches for a living,
i want people to hear my poetry and get headaches,
I want people to hear my poetry and vomit,
I want people to hear my poetry and weep,scream,disappear,start bleeding,
eat their television sets,beat each other to death with
swords and go out and get righteously drunk on
someone else's money.

this aint no party, this aint no disco,
this aint foolin'a grab-bag of
clever wordplay and sensitive thoughts and gracious theories about
how many ambiguities can dance on the head of a machine gun,
this aint no gentle evening over cappuccino and bullshit,
this aint no life-affirming.

our days have meaning as we watch the flowers breath through our souls and
fall desperately in love,
this aint no letter press,hand me down,
wimpy beatnik festival of bitching about the broken rainbow,
it is a carnival of dread,
it is a savage sideshow,
about to move to the main arena it is terror and wild beauty,
walking hand in hand down a bombed out road,
as missiles scream,while a sky of colour of arterial blood,
blinks on and off like the lights on broadway,
after the last junkies' died of AIDS.

i come not to bury poetry, but to blow it up,
not a dandle on my knee like a retarded child
with beautiful eyes but,
throw it off a cliff into icy seas and see if the motherfucker can
swim for its life,
because love is an excellent thing surely we need it, but,my friends.....
there is so much to hate these days that hatred is just love with a chip on its shoulder
a chip as big a the Ritz, and heavier than
all the bills i never pay because they're after us,
they're selling radioactive charm bracelets,
and breakfast cereals that lower ure IQ by 50 points per mouthful.

we got politicians who think starting World War III
would be a good career move,
we got beautiful men & women with eyes like wet stones peering out at us from pages of
glossy magazines,
promising that they'll fuck us till we're begging them to stop,
if we'll just buy one of these beautiful switchblade knives,
I've got mine.

Something I wrote not too long ago. (:

Let's amuse me.

Black guy #1 : Nigga, fuck you ! I'm straight.
Black guy #2 : Nigga..you're straight gay.

Queer to friend : What sign are you?
Friend : Leo.
Queer : Oh, good. I decided that I am going to base what I think of people based on their astrological signs, and I hate Geminis'. Like, if I adopt a baby and it's a Gemini, I'm going to give it back!

Girl : Well, if there's going to be another girl, there has to be another guy too.
Guy : Hell no ! Ain't no other dude putting his sausage in your jay-jay!

Dominican #1 : But I'm a Jew, man!
Dominican #2 : You're a Jew?
Dominican #1 : Shit yeah.
Dominican #2 : Man, I didn't know there was any Jewish Dominicans.
Dominican #1 : Not that kind of Jew. You ever met a Dominican Jew ? Dominicans aren't Jews ! I just feel Jewish, man. My whole life I've been feelin' Jewish like that. You know, like if there's a penny on the street, I pick it up!

Guy #1 : You must be Italian.
Guy #2 : Uh...no, I'm Jewish.
Guy #1 : Are you sure? You really look Italian.
Guy #2 : Of course I'm sure. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Guy #3 : I don't like where this is going.

Guy to woman with baby strapped to her chest : Your baby looks like a little Yoda.
Woman : That's what my husband said.
Husband : No, I said she looks like Obi-Wan.

Girl #1 : I really need to get fit, I need to buy a tredmill, you know, so I can just sit there and use it.
Girl #2 : Yeah, me too.
(this sounds so much like Chelle & I, we have treadmills, but we use them to play)

NYU girl : There's not enough time. You can't get lunch.
NYU boy (running towards a hot dog cart) : I can. I'm hungry!
NYU girl (shouting after him) : You're fat!

Neighbor #1 : Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2 : Knee socks? Or any socks?
Neighbor #1 : Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2 : No.
Neighbor #1 : Do you have knee socks?
Neighbor #2 : No.

Tina Fey scares me.
Jeremy is a dirty boy. He just noogied me, with his foot.

;; could this be out of line ?
to say you're the only one,
breaking me down like this,
you're the only one,
I would take a shot on,
keep me hanging on,
so contagiously.

What a way to wake up eh.
*rollseyes.
Fuckin ell.

Now that I can't be bothered, let's move on. (:
I woke up today with every intention to take a shower the minute I felt arsed enough to get up from bed, but instead, I couldn't find my towel. Lovely, innit.
Then I got lazy, and didn't bother taking a shower.

I've got Famous Amos, the one thing that'll keep me happy today.
Ugh, I need a distraction, Chelle, come home soon ?

p/s : I can't do this anymore. I need to stop missing you.

Random signs in the bathroom.
I love Aunty Cee, she's so quirky.

On the left is Sting, and on the right is Maxine.

I love Sting, he's adorable, and he likes to play with me.
I'm not exactly Maxine's biggest fan, cos she always tries to freakin eat me !
From dinner at Godpa's the other night.
Ya'll know I'm ever the procrastinator, but shuttup, cos the pictures are here.

The one thing I don't enjoy about Christmas is the shopping.
I mean, I'm not trying to sound like a total priss bitch, finding fault with everything that happens. but anyone who knows me, even remotely, would know just how much I despise shopping, Chelle especially. Everytime she tries to drag me off to shop, the exact words that come out of my mouth are,
"I hate you. Like seriously, I despise you. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY ??"
I'm gonna, undoubtedly, going to enjoy everything else, for sure.
Christmas with Momma's side of the family, Boxing Day with Daddy's side.
(: I've already started bracing myself for insanity.
Christmas every year is when everybody in my family goes crazier than usual, and it's very welcomed. Even Momma drinks !
Mm, I'm looking forward to all this havoc, one of the family events that I actually look forward to, haha.

Wow, nights are bleak. I am not liking this. I have nothing to do with myself.
Went to Amcorp just now, cos Momma needed to buy a goingaway gift for her boss, so it's we went jewelry shopping. I dig white gold, foreal. I don't really like gold, I think it's kinda.. ugly, but that's just me. I like silver. Anywhoo, Sa & I were talking,

Sa : I want this ! *points to 40,000 dollar bracelet.
Me : If I ever get married- no wait, scratch that, if love ever finds me, since it's gotten lost so many fucking times, I want this ring. *points to sapphire studded ring.
Sa : HAHAHAHAHA, WTF ?

See how all this neglection affects me ? Yea, I'm getting a kid, then I'm gonna handcuff it to me, so it will never ever leave. (:

Was with Amy the other day, and he kept telling me about all sorts of funny stories about his friend who can't read. It was so funny, everyone at the mamak kept looking at me gasping for air.
"I'm sorry, I am not vegetable with you."
BAHAHAHAHA.
Okay, hi.

Ooh, I've got a date tomorrow. (;
Hoyea, told ja I still have my charm, bitches.
Saravanan thinks I could rule the penis world.
But no, I'm too nice for that.
I just wanna rule the world, foreal.

Oh, and Za, get better soon, love.
I need you to kick ass at your performance, and hurry up and build your studio.
Recording time for us. (;
<3

Za : When I'm healed, we go for picnic okay ?
Me : Yay ! Okay. (:
Za : You prepare the picnic basket.
Me : Do you have some sort of death wish ?
Yes, I am hopeless.

;; this is me with the words
on the tip of my tongue,
and my eye through the scope,
down the barrel of the gun,
remind me not to ever act this way again,
this is you trying had to
make sure that you're seen,
with a girl on you arm,
and your heart on your sleeve,
remind me not to ever think of you again.

I don't fucking need you, and your fucking lies.
Dumbfuck.

Cos I miss you, Isky Bunny.

Cos we miss you back home, love.

Cos I miss getting into shit with you.

Cos I miss running around KL, and bumming in bed with you.

Cos I miss messing with your hair.

Cos I just miss you.

Cos it's funny when you steal my shades.

I have come to a conclusion that I am way too cool for prom.
BAHAHA.
Yea, talk about blowing your own trumpet.
*rollseyes.

Been ignoring my phone all week, simply cos I can't be bothered to talk to anyone.
Besides Chelle, anyways.

We finally decided to scavenge all over for our Christmas decorations.
Christmas honestly brings back so many memories, good and bad.
I've always taken it as a time to reflect on the whole year, and I've been doing just that.
Made me realise all I've missed out on this whole year.
Distance really does take a toll on people, huh ?
Reminds loads about Papa too, cos this time of the year always brought out the best in him (not that he wasn't perfect all the time). Used to sit around, and reminisce over a few bottles of whiskey. Yes, really brings me back, y'know.

Today's been good. Met up with Mama and Daddy at Old Town White Coffee for tea, and talked and laughed, like ol'd times. It was really refreshing, compared to the drunken hazes and heated arguments that usually go down. Talked about Daddy's childhood and all the shit he used to get into(not that he still doesn't get into shit), which left us all gasping for air in hysterics.
I kill for moments like this.
My family is so dysfunctional. (;

Fariz : Have you ever liked, fucked yourself with a friend ?
Me : Fariz, you pervert, that's called SEX.

;; I've got your runaway smile,
and your piggyback baby,
and i'll cash it right in for a new mercedes,
you're worth a hundred thousand miles,
but you couldn't stay awhile.

mm, hey.

First of all, I'm so insanely angry with you.
Like shaking with rage.
I'm so done with all of this, and I'm sticking to it this time.
Ugh. As far as I'm concerned, everyone may as well have hearts of fucking stone cold ice.
I'm honestly getting bored of the whole situation.
I'm not gonna be around forever, hoping you'll come to your senses, because frankly, I'm starting to doubt that you have any to begin with.
Screw this, I'm better off without you.

Okay, enough with the rants and raves.
Second love of my life had his birthday yesterday. (:
Love you, babe. It sucked that I couldn't be there, but it'll happen some day soon, promoose.
<3

I'm freakishly bored, and I really can't be arsed to amuse you lot anymore.
Okay, I will.

Just like Buddha was the Easter Bunny.
Girl#1 (about the street preacher) : Oh my god, I cannot believe that he said Jesus was the devil.
Girl #2 : I know ! Jesus was Moses. Duh.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Kay, I'm going back to not liking you now.

;; did I make it that easy,
to walk right in and out
of my life ?

Rawr.

I finally have something to do !
Lunchies with Luqman in about an hour or so.
Eat that, bitches.
I am no longer a bored bum.
// edit.
I'm so freakishly angry.
The arse cancelled on me.

Sam is an idiot, I swear.
I want to strangle her repeatedly.
I have just amused myself watching Hairspray.

I was up before one today !
*jumps with joy.

Okay.
I'm running fucking low on smokes man.
Fucking irritating, as people keep stealing my smokes.
Fucking bastards, I am not amused.

Later, losers.