Obviously I've hit quite a number of rough patches in the last year. For those who hardly ever check my blog, I suggest you do so. So far, I've had people try and hurt me all over the place. It stopped being funny for a while, but I guess I grew immune to it, somehow. After something happens too much, you tend to grow used to it. I know, as people keep telling me, I'm not supposed to be used to it. When I say I'm used to something, I don't mean I'm used to being treated like shit or whatever, but I'm used to people trying to hurt me. Its gotten pretty old, and I'm over giving two flying chickens. It's not easy to hurt someone, who's experienced so much, in such little time, but then again, we have some very very dedicated cunts out there, who would probably travel to the ends of the earths to try and see me breakdown.

But much to your oblivion, you happen to be failing miserably. The things you say aren't hurting me, nor do they sting. But they do give me a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you go through all that trouble of finding out irrelevant information, that doesn't even harm my lowly status, but actually exalts me and amuses me, seeing as you just don't get the fact that you can't hurt me more than the norms of society have. And truth be told, it stopped hurting a long while back.

Over the years, not only did I grow, but so did my tendencies. Not only in the sense of my rebellious tendencies, my lashing out, but also in the sense that I've grown up enough that I disallow people to hurt me, torment me, or ever take advantage of me. Maybe not fully, but enough for me to handle for the time being. If you thought the average person had thick skin, you have not met me. Let me help you clear things up with the next line;
Hurting me isn't as easy as it looks. But as I said, for someone who has been through so much in the course of two years, I have turned out miraculously well, I am proud to say, that I can still hold my head higher that the people who haven't had to work for anything in their goddamn lives. I may seem like an easy target, or maybe the way I talk or explain things may seem like I'm just that weakling of a girl. I portray myself by the way I'm feeling in that spur of the moment. I, happen to be extremely impulsive. I wouldn't exactly call myself emo, but I would say that I've still got a heart pumping in my chest.

But if you still want to embarrass yourself, go ahead and keep up with your miserable attempts at trying to hurt me. Here's a little heads-up, you can't. I'm quite literally numb and indifferent to the shit you throw right in my face. So go right ahead, waste your time. Because you are so insignificant to me that if you even tried to clear things up, I would look right through you. Even more than I am doing right now. You have about as much control over me, as the politicians have over their own goddamn nation. Which is, in case you haven't realized, equivalent to the control of a drunk driver.
Because the only person I will ever let close enough to me again, is me.
And I know for a fact, that I won't disappoint myself as much you fuckholes have, trust me.
(:

And we all need to step out from under our goddamn rocks, to realize that the world as we know it is coming apart at the seams. Every person just chooses oblivion, almost like every politician. But what can we do, except sit back, kick your legs, pretend to believe every person that comes onto the television telling us that we're gonna be okay, and enjoy the freaking show. I mean, it's only our lives spiraling out of control, right.

P/S;
I know you may not feel this way ever ever again, but I need you to understand that I feel like everything bad that has ever happened to you feels like my doing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry for ruining any potential relationship. I'm sorry for being that girl. I'm sorry for weighing you down for so long. I'm sorry for hurting you the horrible way I know I did. I'm sorry for forgetting to tell you just how much you mean to me, regardless of the fact that I could never, ever do it justice in words. I'm sorry for not listening to you when I know you had something important to say, like, "I love you." I'm sorry for being such a nasty bitch when we fought, or when I was just plainly upset. I'm sorry for pretending like there was nothing wrong whenever you asked. I'm sorry for asking you too many questions. I'm sorry for thinking that I never meant anything to you. I'm sorry for those shitty things I said. I'm sorry for throwing your heart and everything else back in your face. I'm sorry for holding you back those five months, when you could've been with someone you truly deserved you. I'm sorry for never letting you go. I'm sorry for not being able to let you go now. I'm sorry for breaking your heart.

I'm just so damn sorry.

But, there will never be a single second in my life that I will ever regret knowing you. Not even one bit.
I'm not just saying this because I think its what you want to hear, I'm saying this, just because I need you to understand. I'm over you. But there will always be that part of me, wondering how your day went.
So, be happy. Smile.
We both know how much you deserve it.

Hello there, dear avid readers.
I, am currently seated next to my bestfriend in a shady lil place people call a CyberCafe. Where the roof just happens to be leaking on my head. Are you scared for me ? I'm scared for me :D
It is, as you might know, one of the scariest places on the face of the universe.
I, have never been to a CC in my goddamn life, as i much prefer to stay home and go online on my pretty lil masterpiece of a laptop.
But no, of course, we choose to come to the CC, where a middleagedman is threatening the woman behind the counter, and stuff keeps falling onto me, and things banging all over the goddamn place.
But anywhoo.
I will start off with the updates from yesterday. Eventhough I've got about a trillion posts sitting in my draftfolder, just waiting to see the light of day on my blog. But unfortunately, that shan't happen today. For obvious reasons, darlings.

Was actually supposed to go out with Kat and Geogy to buka puasa with them on Monday, but since PMR is less that two weeks away, mummy decided to isolate me from the outside world, thinking that it would stop me from being, well.. me. But no avail, obviously, as I am sitting in the middle of Pantai Dalam, in a CC, where people keep screaming along to lyrics of Chris Brown and FloRida, not that this surprises me.
So, Geogy and Kat being the darlings they are, decided to come over instead, and spend the day with me. Ended up asking the bestfriend, Inga to come along, seeing as i havent seen her in about a lightyear and a half possibly. Asked her to stay over, which she did. Btw, it is Naomis fault we are currently sitting in this CC. It is all connected, trust me.
Anyhowever, walked around and bummed alot the whole day. Talked and laughed.
The four of us, lethal fucking combination. We smoke as much as each other, if not more. We're like crazy. We chilled at the pondoks in PHASE 2, thinking the mamak would be open, but noooo, Amy just had to balik kampung. So typical la.
Then went home, as it started raining. And buka puase with the monkeybutts, and then walked around the whole of pantai hillpark, well my block anyway. Sat by the abandoned guardhouse, smoked, danced and laughed a hell lot. I swear, i love this bunch with my life la. They make me happy.
For the first night in a long while, i was content.
There were loads of funny moments, like how i told them our birthday party escapade.
They laughed like loons on loon tablets, which they are. Me and Naomi, never fail to amuse people with our never ending antics. Which is a good thing, as we never tire. I have missed all of this.
I'm counting down the days to PMR, but not out of nervousness, but as a sign, that I will be free for the rest of the year, to rid of all this love and happiness that I've got waiting to pounce. I dont mean this in a bad way, not at all. But I gotta learn to give out more than I'm taking in, and these people, are doing a fanfuckingtastic job of showing me. And I adore them for it.
So, thank you.
Pixie, i miss you to fatmonkeybutthead :D
Lewis Kyle Lucas, you gotta learn to pick up a phone and give me a call. I miss you like crazy, you lizardface.
KittyKatMeow, NaomiIngaBoogermonkey, GeogyPogeyPuddingandPie,
I love you three so fucking muuuuch :D
Oh and bitchinia, I lover you.

More updates soon, as soon as i get the fuck out of this CC, and back to the comforts of my newly painted room. By the way, pictures of the new room will be up soon. Pretty emo, but its also mine. Very.. Peyton Sawyer. I'm sure you'll like.

Till then, LOVERS.
xx

She was checking for zits.

See, we can be normal.
We just choose not to be :D

Her apparent sad face.

Killahbees.

Have you seen the hills have eyes ?

Bloopbloop.

Goddammit.

Call us on 1800asylum.

Merry xmas, biooootches.

Catchit !

Oinkstars.

Bubbles.

Bzzzzzzz.

We really like christmas.

As you might be able to tell.

Alot.

Like alot, alot.

Like an elephant alot.

We suck at looking scary.

Put this on your birthday card, bitches !

Enough ?

Catch a lalalalaa.

I caught one.

Gila.

Cos we can fade, only to come back 10 tens better !

I like this one.

And this one.

This is pretty.

She looks like my laptop fell outta her nose.

Terminally insane.

Hmm. We need medical help.

Pretty damn decent.

This is hilarious.

She so loves me.

Cant you tell by the facial expression ?

She totally digs me.

We look pretty good.

Kuhlowie.

Goldfish.

Have you ever seen the hills have eyes ?

Gawdamn paparazzi.

HAHAHA, look at her hair.

Insane.

We have to ask our mums about this.

Wabbit.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

We shiiine.

Shit funny man.

Apparently, it rained.

We are so damn attractive.

Hello.

Doood, we're way cool.

Balloonies.

Kisskiss.

I love her facial expressions.

Storm.

Put this on your birthday cake, bitch.

hehehehe.

Take a wild guess.

Killahbees.

Really shitty hair.

It got shittier.

Try and find me.
Psst, im in between her legs. hahahaha.

Catchit !

Eeee.

Surprise ?

We are so damn rockstar.

We dubbed this, A.

Twirl. And swirl.

Birdy.

She really liked this one.

Dont mind the hair.

Heh ?

As you can see, we had a pretty good day. Realising that infact, Chloe has never come to my place on time. Like ever.
But it was a good day. With lotsa giggling, and McD's. As per usual.
We are so damn typical.