Yesterday, was fuuuun. (:

Got a call from Justin while I was still in my jammies, asking if he could come over.
Apparently, the boy was barely even awake. Funny kid.
Kinda figured that he'd be with Benji, as the two practically live together. Fuuun, I'd likta move in, no doubt.
The boys were over by 12.
Bummed in my room for abit, laughing our asses off at the fact that Benji was beside himself with amusement playing with my Orgasmatron. (:
After about 20minutes of deciding where to go (which is one thing I hate; sitting around deciding where to go, what to do), we finally decided on the first random mamak we saw, which was of course, Vargina. Which got the boys into another fit of stitches, all.over.again.
Sat in Justin's car for about 20 minutes, talking and getting happy.
I swear, the boys take forever to freakin eat.
We sat at Vargina for over 2hours just talking and laughing.
My god, when I had to pee, someone tried to break into the toilet.
Benji, being in the state that he was, almost fell outta his chair laughing. Stupid bugger.
Bummed abit more, before getting Sa some food and heading home.
I swear, those kids made my week. (:

I know have a black nose.
Why, you may ask ?
Cos Ive got a pore pack on it.
Fuuuun.
//edit.
My god, pulling that off hurt like a mutha.

It's almost midnight, and there's something I can't put my finger on that's bugging me.
Have been feeling puhreety restless these past few days, which has led to my somewhat foulmood.

Been staying in almost everyday, as we're all too lazy and broke to do anything with ourselves, and Momma's working, so getting out of the house, eventhough for just a couple of hours seemed like heaven.
Got to Midvalley at 7ish, and headed to Topshop, with Sam.
Talked to Asri and Boy for abit about Sunburst, and then headed to MNG, as it is now my new favourite place to shop.
Got myself a new wallet a few days back, and decided it was high time to get myself a new bag.
And so I did, and it's purrrrty. I fell in love with it the minute I looked at it.
Walked around a lil bit more, before heading to Vincci cos smallfart was bag shopping too.
Spotted this gorgeous pair of shoes that I just had to have. (I've been wearing them since I walked through the door, and that was like 3hours ago).
Headed back to Topshop to get Asri to have a smoke with me.
Sat around talking about the type of guys/girls we liked, and decided to take him up on being my new girlfriend. Oh, he's such a sweetheart.
Got him to be my date for Sunburst, and I'm totalleh looking forward to that, right there. (:
Got Wan to be my date too, so I shall be pimping at Sunburst, fo sho.

But not really, Im just using them for money.
YAY.

Been texting Joe the whole day, and I swear, the boy is a lifesaver and the biggest sweetheart ever. After all, it was cos of him that I met Incubus. :D
Totally owe you a beer, babe.

Gave Ash a long overdue call, and felt extremely bad for not being better at keeping in touch.
I guess I've been slightly caught up, but will definitely make it a point to show you more loove. (:

Ah, should probably go force myself to bed.
Insomnia ain't a fucking playground.

Hiii.

I am currently reading Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk.
I am totalleh in love.

I'm now very bored.
I've been trying to find ways to amuse myself, but I simply can't.

Spent about half an hour on the phone lastnight to Chello, bitching about repulsive people we know.

Honestly, if you don't like how we live, and how our house looks like, fuckoff, dont come. Nobody wants you here. If you like your living quarters to be pristine and immaculate, stay.the.fuck.there. You think it's so much fucking fun, having you around ? It's not.
It feels like I'm walking on shards of glass, and I hate it.
It's amazing that he can live with you.

I should probably go.
I am bored and sleepy.
And i wanna get married.
Am totally contemplating taking up Firdy's date offer. (:
<3

I'm excited and annoyed at the same time.
On the bright side, I've only had 3smokes the entire day.
Tryna kick the habit, ya dig.

I'm fucking excited about Sunburst.
I went lastyear, and I've got my heart set on going this year.
Only thing is, Jamtart might be working, so Momma might not let us go.
Ugh.

I am also tres tres disappointed about not being able to go to Lyza's house for the sleepover.
I fucking love you guys.
<3

I think it's absolutely pointless having a dad, if he's a dad like mine.
There is no fucking point, on planning to have kids, if you do not plan on looking after them.
If you believe that we, your supposed children, are something you don't need to worry about, then dont.fucking.have.kids.
When are you going to grow up ?
You make it so easy to hate you.

Would you believe me if I told you I have hotpink toenails ?
I know right.

I've been feeling like I'm missing something vital.
I realised how long it's been since I've had someone show me real affection.
Am talking to Kim about all this shit, and I think it's high time for me to stop feeling so lonely.
Emotions are our biggest flaws.

I am watching Die Hard 4.0.
It is the fucking awesomest movie ever.

I love Mon, like I've never loved anyone before :D

Texts ;
Mon in purple.
Me in green.


"Baabes, what art thou doing on wednesday night ?"
"Er, hi. Depends on who this is."
"It's Mon. Sorry."
"Oh, HIIII !! I'm not sure yet, why ?"
"Cos Lyza is having this sleepover thing with like, you, me, Gabi, Alice and maybe Sarah."
"Ooh, fuuun. Im not sure babes, Ima need details. But if I cant, lets just go out !"
"Kay, sounds like a plan. Lyza lives around ampang, and you can come whatever time you want, I figure. Not sure what else."
"Nice, I'll let you guys know kay ?"
Hahaha, good. plase make it, cos I actually freaking love you."
"Aww, I lover you more."
"Pfsh, no way, but a night with you lot would be awesome."
"I know right. I'm actually pissing myself wanting to come."
"Good, so come."
"All depends on my madre."
"Tell her that I'll bomb Korea if you dont come. Korea will be angry."
"Nah, I'm sure korea is used to that. Think more high end, like INDONESIA !"
"FINE. Tell her Indonesia will be very angry if you cant go."
"Im not allowed in Indonesia. But we shall take the indian president hostage."
"Hahaha, we'll find a way, youll see."
"Well duh we will. Jebus didnt give a brain for no reason. Regardless of the fact that its in our bum."
"Hahaha, well for guys its in another place alltogether, but we'll find them brains and SOLVE THIS PROBLEM WITH OR WITHOUT INDONESIA !"
"Guys just done have brains, end of story. I'm sure we'll be diplomatic about our slight problem, a lil nuke never hurt nobody."
"Ah, I remember now, we figured that out ages ago, didn't we ? Dont worry, we'll get you to Lyza's house."
"We better !"
"We got skills babe, it'll happen. You doing alright ?"
"Okay, I guess. And youu ?"
"Sure ? I'm good, cept that Alex just left for aussieland this morning."
"Aww, you little globe tretter left ? How you holdin up, honey ?"
"Haha, globe tretter ? Love it. Um, I'm doing okay, I guess, it just epically sucks that I fall for a reat guy living in another country."
"Well, I can't cay I know exactly how you feel, but my nowexboyfriend actually did abandon me for a couple of months for a faroff country. I hate men, always abandoning us."
"Geez, that does suck. But thats what girlfriends are for, right ?"
"Yea, and you know I'm always here for you, hon. (:"
"I know, cos you're cool like that. You know I'm here for you. You'll find a decent guy."
"Haha, well, I'm not exactly looking."
"Well then, I GET TO OCCUPY YOUR TIME."
"Anytime !"
"I was actually jealous of Yoda. Tsk."
"Well if its any consolation, I did eat him for you. (:"

Love you, honey.
<3

Momma has gone all dictator on me.
Following in the footsteps of father dearest maybe ?
Ugh.

I've got lime green toenails.
And a feeling that something vital is missing.

Last night was shitloads of fun, eventhough we weren't out for long.
I had a fucking good time. (:

23 / 01 / 09.
Decided not to go to school, and go to the bestf's instead of school (yes, Momma knew. I'm not like some of you losers who fly, just cos you think it's cool). Got Daddy to drop me off at 11ish, and I kinda figured that the she wouldn't be up, so just chucked my stuff at her room door, and watched The Wizard of Oz with Sabrena, who is so adorable, I just wanna cuddle her all the time. Had a lil bit of brekkie with her, when the bestf woke up screaming,
"Manda. Is that you ? What the fuckkkk. I was like, who the fuck is that talking ?!"
Which made me laugh like crazy.
Bummed around for abit, talking.
Decided to go through the pictures in her phone, only to find pictures of us from like 2 years ago ! Will totalleh post those up, once I'm arsed enough of course.
Waited for Gabi & Alex to come so we could take pictures with her awesome DSLR, and go crazy.
I love Gabi (who I call Emma, simply cos I want to, thus GABIEMMA). Sat around the bestf's room for the longest time talking, and then Alex went to get Mon while the three of us watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging.
Had dinner at home, cos we didn't wanna waste money (Gabs and Chlo only brought 10bucks).
Was at hartamas by 9.30. Everyone was at The Orange, though I desperately wanted to go to Square, as I hadn't been there is fucking lightyears.
Saw John, after like, ages of not seeing him. He was rather incredulous over the fact that I was standing two feet away from him, with my arms outstretched. Met Sarah, John's girlf, who is an absolute sweetheart. Scott, Milos, met a few other people too, only I forget their names, sorry loves. (:
Texted Syadil asking where he was, as the bestf and I were gonna go see them for abit, walked to Lepaq. Talked for abit, and I was not as such enjoying the heat. Atlas was there, which was good, as I really dig their music. Talked for abit, and then headed back cos Mon had arrived. Felt really bad, cos only after we left, the bestf told me that Dan had ordered a shisha for us. Totalleh wanted to go spend more time with them, but nobody would let us leave.
I haven't seen Mon is like ages, so I was fucking excited. We started our whole retard talk routine, especially about Yoda Babies. HAHAHA. Totalleh missed the fuck outta that woman, who I have been married to for over a year now. Sat around talking for the longest time, and then headed to the bar. Sarah bought me shitloads of drinks, which totalleh made my night. Vodka Bombs, I think they're called, though there's a really low percentage of alcohol in it.
John & Sarah, Mon & Alex, were well loved up, which made the rest of us go, "Aww", like a million times.
Asked John to come buy smokes with me, cos it was too noisy to do any talking, so I figured good enough time to catch up a lil. Bumped into our Orange friends on the way back. Was very annoyed, as they were leaving for somewhere else. Thus leading to my conversation with the yummy baldy, who I shall now refer to as 'Hot&Bald.'
"Oi, where you going !"
"Well, Milos is gonn a mix us some drinks-"
"No, you're abandoning me, is what. Whyyy. Don't you like me ? *pouts."
"Aw, honey, of course I like you ! Would you like a hug ?"
"I like you too, and yes please."
"Come here. *bigbearhug."
"I like hugs. I like your hugs !"
"I like hugs too."
"And they're freeeee !"
"Would you like another ?"
"Okay ! I like you, you're nice."
"Aw, I'm definitely coming back now, cos you said I'm nice."
"Okay, lets go !"
But he didn't come back with me.

Bummed abit with the loves, before getting a call from Aunty Ruki at 11ish. All was well, as everyone was leaving anyway. Gabi, the bestf and I decided to ransack the liquor cabinet in her house, our own lil private party. :D
Had planned on seeing on Firdy, but he was too busy for me, so decided not to in the end.
Said our goodbyes, and waited on the side of the road for our ride. Got home, and talked for abit. Went online and talked to Lyza (who couldnt come) and some random friends, who were freakishly amused by me.
Me : (cos Lyza was pissed off) Lyza, dont be mad. Its kay to be a madhatter, cos you can go crazy and drink free tea. I secretly think it's alcohol but whatever.
Lyz : ALICE IN WONDERLAND.
Me : Yea, and I like Peter Pan. My alter ego is Tinkerbell, and when I fly I secretly pee on everyone's head, but they think it's rain. Who cares !
Lyz : I know for sure this is Manda.
Me : But you kinda like me, so shuttup. I'm gonna go shave something now. Bye Lyz, love youuu.
I am seriously deprived. Gabiemma made me laugh so hard, I was literally on my face on the floor, laughing.
Waited for everyone to go to bed, before grabbing some Gin and Tequila.
Only realised after we got the bottles, that we had forgotten the glasses, so what did we do ?
We used the bottle caps ! How smart are we.
Had a couple of shots, and talked for awhile, before sneaking back out to put the bottles back. Almost got caught, which was a fucking close call, but managed to cover up easily.
Lazed about in bed, talking, reminiscing and bitching for awhile, before falling asleep at 3ish.

24 / 01 / 09.
Was up by 8.30, in my opinion, the buttcrack of dawn. Was surprised to see Gabiemma up too. Freshened up abit, and went down for breakfast, while the bestf was still asleep. Took a shower, and watched tv for awhile.
Had a lil bit of transport problems, and even asked Syadil to pick me up, only realising he was mad at us after the bestf called. :/
Finally got Momma to get me, and was home by 1.

Texts between Syadil and I.
"Sorry about that. Heh, thanks though."
"I'm sorry for not picking you up. We're rushing."
"Hey, its kay. i'll figure something out. Like superwoman."
"Haha, awesome !"
"I know. I'll see you lot soon, yea ? We live like, less than 3minutes away and I only ever see you when it rains or with Chlo."
"Yea, we should hang out more often. With JOSH too."
"HAHAH, shyea. With Josh too ! And Adam before he leaves. Take care, you. xx (:"

And now, I've just gotten home from Midvalley, after celebratory dinner cos Jeremy's back for a few days ! Yay. Hadn't realised how much I've missed the boy.
Had dinner at Chili's, then headed to Topshop to shop for abit.
Remembered I needed a wallet, and finally bought one from MNG.
My phone can fit in it !
Anyone who knows me, would understand my obsession for wanting to be able to fit my phone in my wallet.
Its puhreeettty. (:

Oh, oh, did I forget to mention that I've got the most adorable picture of Adam ? :D
I should probably go. Am talking to the bestf online, I swear, it's gonna be hell without her !
<3 size="5">

;; your face,
lights up the sky on the,
highway.

mm, hello.

I am currently frying my brain cells, and prostituting my ears to American Idol (and I am about to punch the stupid whore-ish chicks who cant sing for peanuts), because I have nothing better to do with myself, after the refreshing day I had with the people who love and spoil me, just cos I'm a fatkid.
*bigcheesygrin.

I am beside myself with glee over Obama's inauguration.
I am so proud of him, and how far he has come.
Can you say amazazing ?

Mmph.
So I came back from school, with the twisty feeling in my gut. Realised that I missed Kane so freaking much that it actually hurt. (:
So I called him, and asked him to come to the mamak.
Which he then refused. Instead, he came to pick me up with Kevin and Farouq, and we headed off to Maxwell.
I figured out why later. :D
Got to Maxwell in some20minutes, and bummed at Keith's old place, which now belongs to his uncle. Suhweet family. You can't help but love em.
Met Scott, who is like a clone of Eric, which totalleh makes me wanna jump him. BAHAHA.
Farouq is a fucking funny idiot lah, he made me laugh till I had to pee, honest.
We ended up sitting around playing cards.
Funn shit, yo. Haven't done that in forfuckingever.
And Charles, is just the most adorable kid I have ever come across.
I would totally date him, eventhough some would say I'm a cradle snatcher. (literally)
Mmph.
Sat around, just talking (and bitching about the fuckups and wasted sperm we know. which was beyond funnnn). I missed these kids so much, it's not even funny lah.
Mm, love you kaney (:
He makes me happy. (:
Eventhough I smoke myself half to death with him.

I think I may try to quit smoking.
Why ?
Cos I'm fucking awesome, betches. :D

SAM'S GOING TO THE LIBRARY COS SHE WANTS TO GO SEE HER INDIAN BOYFRIEND !

mm, hey.

No Reservations is a damn good movie (not so much if you're on a diet though). I love the feel of the movie (no, not the rumbly tummy, more along the lines of the emotional). Totalleh made me realise why Ash wants to be a chef, and I totalleh made the decision of moving in with her (though I have not as such discussed this with her, I'm sure it wont be a problem as long as I spoil and love her enough, I mean, regardless of her sexual activities. HAHA, loveyouhoney.)

The only downside to the movie is that it makes you realise. it made me realise that I'm somewhat alone, how long it's been since I've actually had those first date butterflies.
No, i'm not complaining. Ya'll know that I love educating my independence, but it does get tiring. Being alone, I mean. I've got the loves of my life, who've given me anything and everything they've got to offer (and the sex ain't too bad either. BAHAHA), it's all good and stuff, but I miss having that stable lovelife security, eventhough all my relationships (okay, my two relationships) have been puhreety damn dysfunctional.
I feel like such a whiner, but in total honesty, it's just one of those after movie days, where you wake up feeling like nobody but your Momma loves you (not that it's any consolation. I kid, I kid). I haven't felt this way in a long while, as I'm usually oblivious to my emotions, which just goes to show that I need to fall back into old habits, of not watching tv.

Now, moving on from my my further detereorating lovelife to more mundane things. I say this as if a million people are juicing themselves for information about my nonexistant lovelife.

I had the weirdest dream lastnight, it was about Syafiq.
(I probably didn't blog about the ahdorable Syafiq. Well, while Chelle was here, we made friends with these kid who were throwing flour at each other, fuuuuuunnn. So, Chelle and I window stalked them while conversing about men and why they enjoy perving on women and occasionally on other men. ended up talking to BoyThrowingFlour, and found out his name was Syafiq. He is now my superman on myspace. The end) I dreamt that he was by the pool again, and then he came over. Then we were just talking, when he suddenly sprouted angel wings. Fucking beautiful, I swear. Then I can't remember what happened.

Mmph, Jellybean is home for the night. (:

// edit.

Totalleh forgot to mention the some of the highlights, which left us in fucking stitches.

Adam and I got into this heated debate (which then provoked the rest of them to join in) about the pronunciation of the word Albino. Which by the way, Adam, is pronounced as such,
"Al-bai-no." and not as, "Al-bee-no."
He told me to ask any Australian, which then led me to say,
"Sure, as long as you ask anyone with a brain."
Which totalleh got me high5's from Syadil. Tres funny.

Then in the car on the way back to the bestf's place, Adam was expressing his MILF feelings for Aunty Ruki, which encouraged the rest of us to ask,
"If your friends mom was a total MILF, and she was hitting on you, would you totalleh do her ?"
"Er, depends."
"On ?"
"On how old she is.. and how big her husband is.."
"Ugh, no chance of him ever finding out, and she's in her late thirties."
"Ew."
FUCKING PRICELESS OKAY.

Then, Chelle calls while we're all going crazy in the car.
Josh : Video call ! Right. Video caaaaaaaaaaaaaaall !
Adam : *clears throat and talks in deep voice* Hi, I'm Adam.
Me : Shuttup lah. Idiots.
Adam : I'm sexy.
Me : Adam, I'll freaking eat your face lah ! SHUTTUP.
Adam : Try, I dare you. Er, Afzaa, you're on my dick.

When we got to the bestf's place, Adam asked me the weirdest most disturbing question.
"Would you do Chloe's mom ?"
"*stares blankly at him"
"What. Seriously."

Fuck man, gotta love these kids.

Hello.

I'm currently aching, and bruised almost on every part of my body.
Result of a very fun, first time experience of paintballing.
Can you say, fun ?

Was up really early, probably from excitement. Followed Momma to MidValley, as she was supposed to send me straight to the bestf's place. Bumped into Syadil, Josh and Adam when we were about to leave, which made me so bloody confused.
Momma got lazy to send me, so was thrown off scheduled and had to ask Daddy to send me, which took awhile, cos I never can find my way to the bestf's place.
Bummed around in her room, and talked for abit, before Syadil started calling and not saying anything. Bestf's reaction ? Fucking priceless lah.
"Hello ?"
"*silence"
"Eh, you wanna fucking talk anot ?"
"*silence"
"Stupid shit lah !"

Fucking hilarious, was beside myself laughing.
Jumped into Afzaa's car with Syadil, Adam, Josh, Chloe and Afzaa, of course. Was at Isi Rimba by 4.30. Met Dan, Aiman, Adlan, Tasha(who by the way, I'd met before at Sunburst, and had been killing myself trying to figure why the hell she looked so familiar), and Aqil. Signed ourselves in, and got geared up.
Went over the basic rules, and got assigned to our teams. Funnn.
Couldn't see shit, cos the masks were so badly scratched up, and it doesn't really help that my glasses are pretty much destroyed.
Got shot in the shin in the first round, which hurt like a mutha. The first round was nothing compared to the second and third round.
Rested for abit before heading into the jungle for the second round, which was way fun.
Was hiding in the bushes, but got shot in the face anyway. Hurt like a mutha, and at that moment was so fucking thankful for the mask, stinky and all.
Turns out it was Syadil who shot me in the face. Idiot.
Hahah.
I got hit like 4times in the second and third round, and those really hurt.
Now, I've got bruises on my bum, my thigh, my arm and my back. Places that I didn't even realise I got shot. Wasn't as bad and Dan and Josh though, who got body shots. When I say body shots, I mean like on the ribs. It looked so painful, I swear.
Afzaa kept saying shit random things like,
"Oh fuck my mother."
"Oh fuck my vagina."
And she got shot in the boooooob.
Fucking funneh.

After our third round, we headed to the 'cafe.' Didn't eat, mainly cos I saw the mangy cats eating the food. Mm. After a lil bit of Momma drama, we fell back into our usual habits. By habits I mean, laughing like a bunch of retards. While sitting around, waiting for the bestf's driver to come get us, the lights all went out, leaving us in the dark, in the middle of the forest.
Got a call midway through a conversation with Josh, which totally threw my mood off, but got over it and decided to stop taking calls when I was spending time with the loves. (:

The barricade was only put up because the
Palestinians were firing rockets, and sending suicide bombers in.
Get my facts right ? I do have my facts right. (:

Sat around, talked and sang, which was vair vair entertaining.
The boys decided to follow us back to the bestf's place, which was definitely something we were all looking forward too.
Got into the car, and realised twenty minutes into the ride that I had to pee like a horse. I could barely move without my bladder tingling. Popped my earphones in, and listened to The Script and Stereophonics, as their music always keeps me calm. Everyone was so tired, that we all fell asleep in the car.
Got to the bestf's at 8.
One by one, we jumped into the shower, which by the way, was one of the best feelings in the world. Ordered pizza, and talked. Adam and Josh sang for us, whilst Syadil played the guitar.
Puhreety sweet stuff, really. (:
Talked and bummed, before getting the bestf's Momma to send me home, and the boys and Afzaa to hartamas.
Wanted to spend more time with the bestf, as she leaves in less than two weeks, but Momma was already giving me shit, so decided to go home, despite her telling me not to bother.
Got home, and headed straight to bed.

All in all, I had a fanbloodytastic day,
and I'd totally do it again, cut, bruises and all.
Love you, bestf.<3>

p/s : wow, here comes the mess, I like you.

;; I dont know where I stand with you.
I dont know what I mean to you.
But everytime I think about it,
I dont really care,
I just wanna be with you.

I think all the people who think Palestine are in the right, are dumbfucks.
Honestly, you people are living under some kind of rock.
Israel drew up a peace treaty, but it does not allow the Palestinians to take advantage of the Gaza Strip. Ugh, Palestinians are so goddamn stupid.

Moving on,
I'm going paintballing with the bestf, and the boys tomorrow, so am totally pissing myself with glee.

Have spent the whole day trying to find the right college for me. You will not believe how hard it is to find a decent college that offers a journalism course.
But if I do wanna do journalism, the course is about three years. I have to do a foundation though. So if I do the foundation, it will take about three years, thus reducing the period of tiem I have to take the course. So basically, all in all, it'll take 4 to 5 years.

I am now beside myself with worry for Lew.

Am in desperate need of a post.
Such as the update of Sunday, and today, where I spent the day with the Love of my Life, Chloe.
And Syadil, Adam and Josh.
Good day, good day. (:

<3>

//edit.

Hello.
As promised, my update on my day with the bestf and the boys. (:
Came back from school, was totalleh looking forward to spending time with my CokeBottleCurves, as I hadn't seen her in forever.
Bummed and talking for abit about summer flings, and then decided to head over to Syadil's place.
The kid's got his own place, which is freakishly awesome, as we can do whatever we liiike.
Played PS2 for awhile, before heading off to AnW, which by the way, we drove to illegally. Funnn, *thumbsup.
Thanks again, Adam for the foooood. *bigcheesygrin.
Was pretty annoyed the whole time, as this random guy kept calling and texting, irritating the fuck outta me, and everybody around me. Everytime I didn't reply, he'd call, and call and fucking call. Picked up, and told him to go fuck himself and that I wasn't interested. Which led him to confess undying love for me. Can you say, retard ? (:
Filled our tummies, and hopped back into Syadil's car. Watched Disaster Movie at his place, which is by far, one of the silliest movies ever, funny though. Midway through the movie, Josh came over. Talked about school for abit, and he's a real nice kid. (:
Twenty minutes after the movie's over, Momma calls, asking where I am.
"Da, where are you ?"
"My, I told you dy that I'm out with Chlo."
"You've been gone for such a long time, I actually didn't know you were gone, I thought you were in your room."
"My, you are getting old, thus you are senile. I shall be home soon, cease worrying."
"What's wrong with you ?"
"Bye, ma."
Yea, I swear, it comes with age. She's getting old, my Momma. (:

Chlo's driver came, so I bummed at the side of the road with Josh, Adam and Syadil before deciding to head home. Turned down their offers to go to the gym with them, as I was puhreety tired, and I could feel myself burning up. Heh.
Came home, and took a shower. And talked to Khoon Theng before collapsing on my bed.

Didn't go to school today. The bestf called, and picked me up around 3, and then we headed off to MidValley, cos she wanted to do some shopping. Went crazy in Topshop, then went shoe shopping. Chilled with Asri while the bestf shopped.
Headed home at around 5, cos my fever was coming back and bestf had kickboxing classes.
And now, I'm here, with a temperatrure high enough to melt the sun.
Might be going paintballing on Saturday with the bestf and the boys.
Totalleh looking forward to that shit, right there. (:

;; and don’t be so hard on yourself,
you won’t get better til you’re worse,
yeah, you send a little love my way,
every second I spend waiting,
drags me closer to this grave.

//edit.

Hello.
I am half dead and kicking myself. Couldn't believe I'd been so stupid, but what's done is done, and it's rather pointless going on and on about it.

11 / 01 / 09.
Mama decided to have this family get together by the pool. The food was deevine, and having the family together again was somewhat refreshing. Elaine is back from her 6weeks in China, so it was a partial reason for the celebrations. Was by the pool by 6, and spent time with the insane family. Bloody funny bunch, I swear.

Twenty minute after coming downstairs, Suraj comes down. This stalker thing, has gotten old, and is still repulsive. Didn't let him get to me, and ignored the fuck outta him, much to his annoyance, disregarding any comments from the family, that a 'fat, hairy man is staring at you from the corner of his eye.' Uncle Richard was beside himself with laughter.

Justin and Joel came, so was puhreety excited as I hadn't seen Justin in forfuckingever. Had some food, and sat around and talked for abit, sneaking off every now and again for a puff to keep me sane. Talked to my tall and skinny friend, and then sent him off on a mission. While he was gone, I spent time with Zariq and Micheal, whom I haven't seen in agesss.

Justin came back about an hour later, with this kid Benji (lifesaver). Took em to my favourite spot, and fulfilled our cravings.
Could barely walk after, and kept laughing like I was on laughing gas or something. Went back to the party to see what was going on, but everyone was already leaving. Walked back to the new bofs and sent them home. Wanted to say my goodbyes, but I didn't get around to it, as I was exhausted and slightly dizzy. Headed home, and jumped into the shower, drank about a gallon of water and headed to bed, kicking myself for my stupidity.
I have officially decided to spend more time with Justin, cos he makes me laugh, and I adore him. (:

//
So, wow.
It's 2009.
New Years was never something I looked forward too, and yet I do at the same time.
How typical of me to make a New Years post, almost two weeks too late.
I am so bad at this.
My feelings for New Years has always been the same; nostalgia, fear, anticipation.

My inability to let go, leaves me living in my own world; a world of yesterdays. My fear of tomorrow, leaves me wondering. My only want and need, is to learn to move on. My memories have somewhat left me scarred. My fear of forgetting my past, somehow haunts me. I would love to let go off all the pain I've endured, but I can't because without that pain, I wouldn't be what, who and where I am today. Though some of my decisions were questionable, I choose to see past that, and see what I've gained.
I still feel like I'm living in '08, unable to accept the major change, but then again. The only thing that's changed, is a mere number. I did have a breathtaking year, my longing to go back into has left me stuck.
With everything I lost, I gained some more. Exhausting as this monotous routine sounds, it made me comfortable.
'08 made me realise alot of things. Actually it made me grow up, to see my surroudings with a new set of eyes, the perception of my world, the people in it, and everything about it, has changed in the sense that I understand myself better.
There's nothing I would change. My relationship with some people have crashed and burnt, but in the light of the fire, I established more.
The person that I've grown into, has left me proud. I mayb not be perfect, hell I'm far from it, but I am beyond what I, or what anybody else imagined what I would be.

It always sounds like I'm not having a good time, but I am.
I don't mean to come off sounding utterly depressed, of the people I've met, loved, lost. The relationships Ive built, basically.
With each and every breath I take, I am beyond thankful for the hardships and the love I've had all year round.

;; if I could be your first real heartache,
I would do it over again,
if you could be my punrockprincess,
I would be your heroine.

You are such a piece of work.
Useless dickwad.
Keep complaining about me lah, it doesn't bother me.
But at least have the balls to say it to my face, instead of just saying I have problems.
Um, pathetic much ? (:

I miss Chelle, and am being forced to spend time with the old people.
Ugh.
xx

Hiiii.

Have been puhreety busy with school.
Good news is, I'm finally doing Literature. *bigcheesygrin.
I am happy. I adore Pn.Sabina.

Micha has been over everyday.
First day was with Alank, result in a very emo talk.
Then today with Dania, and we were all asleep in my bed.
Heh, kinda funny.

Anywhoo, I am watching FRIENDS.
Its Joey time.
:D

Well, hii.

So, Chelle left me yesterday, and Za left me today.
So I'm trying my hardest to distract myself and not to look as shit as I feel. I actually feel pretty lost, in my own house. Wow.
Mm, yea, am still pretty bummed. Tried to take my mind off things by blogging for like 4hours yesterday and talking to Firdy. Turns out he's abandoning me too, the kid might be moving to Dubai for a few years to take up a job offer. I'm gonna miss that furball.
My current class, is filled with tonedeaf, hawkershop decibel imbeciles. They're so goddamn illiterate, it's not even funny anymore. Am rather reserved and quiet at school, so noise tends to annoy me. Submitted my appeal of transfer, but it's still unanswered, so am anxiously waiting.
The house feels pretty empty. I know I keep going on and on about all this, but it just really sucks dead dog dick. I actually asked Momma if we could adopt Chelle. *bigcheesygrin.
Spent an hour trying to remember the prices of the things I bought with Chelle. If my estimations are right, I spent over 1000bucks in the last two months. I am definitely going to miss not giving a shit. Heh.

Come home, Bitchy. You are missed.
<3

Lunch with Kat and Gee was really good, didn't realise how much I've missed them.
Za's gone to the UK to deal with some stuff, and sadly I couldn't go with him. It's gonna be weird not talking to him everynight. Imma miss you, boy.
Everybody is leaving me. Ugh.
My skin keeps peeling and its annoying me. I told you Zee Man, you do and I pain. You spend godaloneknows how many hours in the sun, and now I'm the one with sunburnt skin.
Started drawing all over myself again, it's a subconcious thing. Lyrics on the back of my hand, and hearts on my wrists. Today's is :
'Things just wwont do without you,
matter of fact, I want you back.'
Very appropriate. Oh, and Natt is back, so the psychotic sleepover is on !

p/s : i dont play games, its gotten old. I dont like people who play games either. I know ill wonder, but this is something I have to do.
pp/s : "I love you" ? No, I am not falling for that.

;; there's a burning in my pride,
a nervous bleeding in my brain,
and peace is all I want for you,
will you never call again ?

mm, hello.
I keep reminding myself to blog about our (surprisingly) eventful trip to Camerons, but I can't be bothered half the time. I think the only good things about that place is that it's cold, and the strawberries. Mmmmmm.I swear, I ate so many strawberries, I'm beginning to look like one. *thumbsup* naiiiice.
Okay, so.

01 / 01 / 09.
Was up at the buttcrack of dawn, showered and sped off to Camerons. The ride up is absolutely nauseating, but thankfully I slept the whole way, result of the late night before. Had lunch at this odd looking mamak, where the old lady kept looking at my butt, cos I was wearing my, as Ash calls them, 'micro mini britney shorts.' Yea, she's rather spastic, gottaloveherlah.
Got to our bungalow at around 2, and got pretty freaked at how haunted it looked, brushed off any feeling of fear as plain insecurities of sleeping in a faraway place. Canvased the place, and nobody was all that pleased with the place. There were at least 15different species of bugs in the BATHTUB alone. Puhreety yucky stuff.
Was texting Mark the whole way through, as I gave him the task of keeping me company over the three days. I absolutely adore that boy for keeping me company, kisses hon. (:
Unpacked our stuff, as we had a mutha of a room to ourselves. Chelle and I amused ourselves abit before realising how much we needed a fix. Decided to take a walk, as it seemed a lil weird that a few feet away from our bungalow, was a barricade. Chelle and I being the inquisitive, desperate spastics we are, just to see what would happen. Nothing did by the way. Well, except that we found this totalleh suhweet bungalow, huge as huge gets, black and white. My kinda place, ya dig ? Walked around the compound, smokes in hand, enjoying the orgasmic feel after over 4hours.
Once we were done, we walked back to the bungalow and took a shower. Was extremely amused wth the vapour in the bathroom, and it also helped get my mind off the ground I was walking on. Ugh. Locked everything up, and headed out for dinner.
Came back and flopped onto the bed, only to get somewhat of a heart attack from Godma screaming. Ran to see what was happening, to see Godma just standing in the doorway, then she asked Chelle and I to accompany her while she changed, as just a few seconds before, the LATCHED balcony door in her room had swung open slowly as if being opened by by someone. While we were in the room, the doors closed to perfectly, it was impossible for it to have been wind.
I know it sounds pathetic, but honest to God, I think that place is really haunted. Ugh. Everyone got puhreety freaked, and decided to bunk in the same room. Couldn't have been bothered, so crawled into my empty bed, whereas in the next room, there were 7people in 3beds. Talk about massive sleepover aye ? (:

02 / 01 / 09.
Was up by 9 in the morning, for God knows what reason. Being the only one up, I figured I could have a nice warm shower, and a nice early morning smoke, but I was dreadfully wrong about the warm shower. I swear, the water in the place could wake the dead. Stood on the bathtub buttnaked and had my smoke, cos Jellybean makes alot of noise about the smell. Got dressed and went to enjoy the coolair on my bum.
Sat down and talked to the old's for awhile, and then went for another walk. Got back and spent some time with Chelle, and lying on top of Siti. Hehe. Headed out for lunch, and walked around Tanah Rata. Also went to this shop Momma called, "Sinnathamby', was in stitches after I realised that she was totally serious. Bought a torchlight cos it amused me so fucking much. Man, I had so much fun flashing my light around.
Headed off to the strawberry farm, and I swear I went absolutely apeshit there. I laaaiiike strawberries. Had this amazingly amazing, deliciously delicious strawberry thing with yogurt and honey. It was like a party on my tongue, times ten. After the strawberry farm, we headed to Tanah Rata for steamboat, cos Uncle Bibo will suffer from withdrawal symptoms. Chelle, Sam, Siti and I didn't want to eat steamboat, frankly cos it's rather disgusting, so we went to a mamak nearby. I dig their chicken sandwiches, *rubstummy&patshead*.
Got home and sat around talking to the old's. Asked Grandma about her relationship with Grandpa, and I'm telling you this, if this were back in the day (or the stoneage, as it really was), Jellybean and Sa would've been married a long time ago. Hopped into bed, dreading the following day as we were leaving, and we'd be one step closer to the beginning of term.

03 / 01 / 09.
Was up early again, cos we were going to Uncle Bibo's friends restaurant for brunch. The food was absolutely delish. I had a strawberry crepe for dessert, which was probably the best thing I've ever tasted. It's better than making out. HAHAHA. Was back home by 6 in the evening.

That pretty much sums up our Cameron's trip.
Chelle left today, and now I honestly don't know what the hell to do with myself.
I'm beyond upset, and I'm so fucking lonely.
Love me, somebody ?

;; I'm tired of starting again,
with somebody new.