So, I've got this knot in the pit of my belly.
And it's not the good kind.
I'm fucking confused, and I don't appreciate feeling like this.
My head's a total mess right now, and I'm so not liking it. My only consolation right now is my box of Winstons, and those are bound to run out at the rate I'm going.
Have not as such been a bum these past few days as things have been pretty crazy. Pulling myself out of that whole flip-the-channel-as-the-only-exercise-I-get phase is not an easy task. But I'm learning to cope with all the chaos little by little.
Been going crazy listening to all my new music, I swear to fucking god. They put all my previous playlist tracks to shame, and that's definitely saying something.
I am completely broke, like foreal. I haven't got a single dollar to my name. I think I need to quit the puffing as it's taken alot out of my wallet these past few days.
My boobs grew. Random, yes. But randomly today, Sa pulled out a measuring tape and started measuring everyones boobies. Sa's reaching a whopping 41. But I'm not surprised really, those things have a mind of their bloody own. Am fucking irritated at the prospect of these babies growing as I can't be bothered to look after them anymore. Too much work I tell you. Haha.

Mmkay, I've been feeling extremely blah these past few days, hardly any inspiration been coming my way, and I think it's absolute shit. I have completely lost interest, based on the fact that not many people have been honest with me lately.
I have completely lost interest in what has been going on, and what needs to be done. My mind has gone on vacation, somewhere far away to get rid of all this pent up frustration that I am tired of carrying. Selfish as it sounds, I honestly wouldn't give two flying fucks if someone collapsed right infront of me. No, I am not PMS-ing, though I would very much like to believe and hide behind my womanhood, I can't. Why ? Because I know there is a whole lot more going on underneath the surface that even I don't know about yet. It's frustrating as hell, but I really can't be bothered to go soulsearching.
I know I deserve a whole lot better than the shit I've been put through lately, but it's like, I somehow stopped caring about where I end up, or where I began. What's worse is, I can't even bring myself to write about it because there are simply no words to describe what's going on.
No, I'm not ttrying to hide from all the pain and bullshit that has been going down. It's just that I don't know if I'm ready to face it all, yet again. I'm tired of having to deal with all of this. The same cycle over and over again. I'm not willing to put myself out on the line again, and give my all, only to receive nothing, as I have in the past year. I don't even care about piecing myself back together.
Maybe I just need a break, sometime to myself without all the high decibles and confusion.
I would run, but I know deep down that no matter how far, or how fast I run, everything is gonna catch up to me, and bite me harder in the bum. And I'm not liking that realisation.
All this bullshit has been tailing me all the way, just waiting for me to make a slight blunder before slapping me in the face. Hard.
The more I try to extract myself from all this turbulence, the heavier it piles on. I'm trying as hard as I possibly can to try and cut out all the irrelevant bullshit, but somehow it just manages to sneak back in as a beginning of yet another cause of unnecessary anger.
This is utter bollocks.

;; Sometimes, I forget what to believe.
You, or the pictures I see.

Okay, So am in a tad of a rush, as I plan on developing lung cancer for atleast 100people.
So here's a quickie;

Chinia is baaaack, betches. Am bloody ecstatic as I have refused to leave the house out of sheer laziness. All I've been doing is bumming myself silly watching movie after movie. Has anyone ever seen, "Flight of the Living Dead ?" No ? Good. I swear to god, it's the worse bloody zombie movie ever, next to Wrong Turn 2. Mm, I might have a chance at being a movie critic.
Been talking to Zhaffy almost everyday now, and that boy keeps me amused I swear to bloody god. Apparently, I look like an Ah Moi. Bullshit la. Now instead, he calls me his Mamak Girl. Why ? Because everytime he talks to me, I'm at the mamak.
I've been missing Ash like a crazy mafakka. Come home to me laaaa. Pretty please ?
Saw Daddy for about 3seconds today, to get munchies.
I need a day with le Sexxgodd. Like foreal. Haven't bitched with the woman for a fucking long time.
Was at the mamak yesterday and one of the people there had a drill. And as I've mentioned before, I have this slight obsession with gadjets, so I couldn't help but play with it. Convinced Amy it was counterstrike, and shot him. Yes, quite deranged, even for me.
Have stopped trying to cook, as it takes too much energy out of me. So looks like I'll be needing my own personal slave. That is the life, aye.
Well, I think I'd like to go back to bumming now. Full day tomorrow. Not. (;

Quote of the day;
Dinosaurs aren't extinct. They're just hiding.

p/s: You and your lil bobblehead. Hun, I feel really sorry for you. Be sure not to snort yourself cold. (:

Okay, we're all pretty damn aware that no government is completely clean, right.
But this just totally redefines everything. We all thought that what we are going through now, Global Warming and all that jazz was bad, but that's not even the half of it, apparently. We've all pretty much been kept in the dark about all this, unsurprising really. But nonetheless, it's nothing short of terrifying.
Just read Kim's blog, and I honestly don't know what to make of it.
Government lies way too much, and I honestly think that we all deserve to know what we're so damn afraid of.

Micro chips ?
Nazi's ?

Way too much to swallow. All of this, isn't really registering well.

Do read on. Click here.
Click here.

So there you have it.
Updates that I've been putting off for what feels like years now.

Now I'm tired, and emotionally drained. Nobody has loved me today.
I'm going to go look for a nice fat indian man with a hairy chest.
Oh, banyak sexay.

p/s : Eh, Ash. Dont go to claaaaass ! Come see me instead, cos I'm awesome and you love me.

Geogy in red, KittyKat in black.

Got dressed and waited for Geogy to come get me to go to the Curve. Hopped into the car, and sped off. Called KittyKat and told her to get dressed as we'd be over in 20minutes to pick her up. Her reaction, priceless. Picked KittyKat up, and headed to the Curve, had Italiannies for lunch. I swear, I feel so loved when I'm out with the two of them. They never let me pay for anything, not even ciggies. I felt like this big manja baby. Jumped into a cab and headed to OU after lunch, which made me think about the (ex / current / what ?) bestfriend. Got over it quickly, as I reminded myself to just enjoy myself. Got to OU, and walked around abit. Laughed like mafakkas, and bummed everywhere we had the chance. Midway through our conversation, I wanted icecream, so we walked all around OU looking for icecream, got to McD's and Geogy bought me icecream.
Couldn't begin to understand how they could think I was any different, so I asked them about it. It seems I'm much more reclusive and quiet nowadays, compared to last time, anyway. Reassured the two of them that I was fine, and it was probably just me thinking.
Got back way later than I was supposed to, only to be dragged out of the house half an hour later to go out for dinner. I would've much preferred to stay home, and sleep. But that wouldn't have done me any good.

Knocked off at around 11, only to wake up an hour later with this pleasant little smile playing across my lips. Hadn't actually woken up happy in awhile, but this was more than welcomed. Much much much more than welcomed. *big cheesy grin.
I think I miss you more than is healthy.

Okay, so much for the Kat and Geogy update.
I shall finish off with Chinia first.
Ooh, I feel all mafia and shit.
HAHA.











So on Sunday, we headed to Midvalley after class. Which is nothing new, as we pretty much live there. Had no idea what we wanted to do, so Chinia and me split from the rest, bumming all around Midvalley. Met up with Jiffy and had lunch with him and a friend of his. Which was tres amusant. I love that kid, I swear. He's like the big gay brother I never had. Haha.
Headed to Italiannies after, for our dose of alcohol and lovin. I love Italiannies, the people there treat us like royalty. I had an Il Nero Testerosa, and Chinia had Russian Truffle. Mm, very chocolatey. But unfortunately, Chinia being the lightweight she is, got pretty damn drunk after a few sips, and turned red as a beetroot. I prefer her sober, she is much funnier. I say this in the most loving way possible.
Ran off for a smoke after lunch, and I can't even remember what we did after that. I just remember meeting up with Rubesh Malek, heading to Brewball and being stalked by disgusting puny rempits pervs. Chinia was not as such sober yet.

I'm generally nice, see. So this random kid asks for a smoke, and I gave him one. No harm, kan.
Then, while I'm beating Rubesh's ass at pool, these 3 dudes start harassing Chinia, which really pisses me off. I mean, yea, we're nice, we gave you a smoke, fuck off after, innit.
The most disgusting one of all suddenly says to Chinia,
"Can I raba you ?"
What the fuck. Anyone with anything in their head would know that I dont even need to explain what's wrong with that sentence.
Completely ignored him after what he said to Chinia, which was a damn smart move, eventhough the dipshits kept trying to talk to us. Chinia, of course has to pee, for like the millionth time that day. So I followed her to the bathroom. When we step out, we see the minipervs standing outside the women's toilet. Grabbed Chinia's hand, and stalked off without so much as a glance in their direction. Minion#3 tried to block the door, but failed miserably. It's quite easy to brush past airheads, all you have to do is hope for a gust of wind.
Minipervs left not long after. So Malek, Chinia and myself stayed for abit. Giggling and taking pictures. Malek thinks that it's good than I haven't changed, as he would not be comfortable with getting used to a new me. If that made sense.
Left Midvalley at around 7, and practically died from heat and exhaustion on my bed. Sasa, of course, never failing to amuse us with her never ending antics.
So we're all sitting around and talking on my bed, laughing like loons. Then I say something that doesn't quite please Sasa. Her reaction was as such;

"Eh, I kick you ah !"

Chinia and me didn't even realise, till Sa burst into furious laughter, causing our conversation to end abruptly. And then she told us what she said, making us all laugh like idiots. I swear, we should have our own TV show, we'd make hell loads of money.

Mmkay, expect a messily thrown together update. I promised an update, pictures and all, I never said anything about it being tidy. I shall start with Saturday, where Momma's side of the family headed to KL to celebrate Grandma's birthday.
I remember stating in one of my previous posts about how everyone is getting old. This, proving my point.

First off, the view. This is what KL must look like to the colourblind. I personally, would love to spend a day being colourblind. I believe that 60% of the world should be colourblind, as to appreciate the beauty that comes from the art of colour. I love colour, but then again, I dont appreciate it.
Make sense ? No ? Ah, figures. Ramblings of an unstable mind.

Me, Sam & Chinia.
The backseat drivers.

So typical.

Now these, I swear to freakin god, come under the category of the awesomest toys ever. Ya'll know me and my slight obsession with gadjets, no ? Well, these were way cool.

200metres up.

And they were all yellow.

BestBestBestBestBestBestBestBestBestBestBestBest Friend.
Say hello to Bichinia, everybody (:

It was darn purrty up there, no joke. Eventhough the restaurant did revolve, making it quite uncomfortable to walk. I swear, I got so queasy everytime I looked anywhere else but my plate. Result, me throwing up in the extremely cheap looking bathroom. Layout wasn't as nice as I expected it to be. Being a tourist attraction and all, I figured they would at least put a slight effort into making the place look presentable. But no, much to my disgust, which I tried to hide, it was actually quite a crummy place. The food was pretty good, though limited.
I think I complain too damn much. So I'm gonna suck it all in and say nothing more than this;
It was quite an experience, but I don't think I'd go back.
Fair 'nough ? Fo sho.

I'm not willing enough to spend hours on end on this post, mainly because I have bumming to get back to, foreal. So sticking pictures up from Monday, when I went out with Geogy and Kat, are going to be apart of my next post, which I will start on right... about... NOW.