Obviously I've hit quite a number of rough patches in the last year. For those who hardly ever check my blog, I suggest you do so. So far, I've had people try and hurt me all over the place. It stopped being funny for a while, but I guess I grew immune to it, somehow. After something happens too much, you tend to grow used to it. I know, as people keep telling me, I'm not supposed to be used to it. When I say I'm used to something, I don't mean I'm used to being treated like shit or whatever, but I'm used to people trying to hurt me. Its gotten pretty old, and I'm over giving two flying chickens. It's not easy to hurt someone, who's experienced so much, in such little time, but then again, we have some very very dedicated cunts out there, who would probably travel to the ends of the earths to try and see me breakdown.

But much to your oblivion, you happen to be failing miserably. The things you say aren't hurting me, nor do they sting. But they do give me a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you go through all that trouble of finding out irrelevant information, that doesn't even harm my lowly status, but actually exalts me and amuses me, seeing as you just don't get the fact that you can't hurt me more than the norms of society have. And truth be told, it stopped hurting a long while back.

Over the years, not only did I grow, but so did my tendencies. Not only in the sense of my rebellious tendencies, my lashing out, but also in the sense that I've grown up enough that I disallow people to hurt me, torment me, or ever take advantage of me. Maybe not fully, but enough for me to handle for the time being. If you thought the average person had thick skin, you have not met me. Let me help you clear things up with the next line;
Hurting me isn't as easy as it looks. But as I said, for someone who has been through so much in the course of two years, I have turned out miraculously well, I am proud to say, that I can still hold my head higher that the people who haven't had to work for anything in their goddamn lives. I may seem like an easy target, or maybe the way I talk or explain things may seem like I'm just that weakling of a girl. I portray myself by the way I'm feeling in that spur of the moment. I, happen to be extremely impulsive. I wouldn't exactly call myself emo, but I would say that I've still got a heart pumping in my chest.

But if you still want to embarrass yourself, go ahead and keep up with your miserable attempts at trying to hurt me. Here's a little heads-up, you can't. I'm quite literally numb and indifferent to the shit you throw right in my face. So go right ahead, waste your time. Because you are so insignificant to me that if you even tried to clear things up, I would look right through you. Even more than I am doing right now. You have about as much control over me, as the politicians have over their own goddamn nation. Which is, in case you haven't realized, equivalent to the control of a drunk driver.
Because the only person I will ever let close enough to me again, is me.
And I know for a fact, that I won't disappoint myself as much you fuckholes have, trust me.
(:

And we all need to step out from under our goddamn rocks, to realize that the world as we know it is coming apart at the seams. Every person just chooses oblivion, almost like every politician. But what can we do, except sit back, kick your legs, pretend to believe every person that comes onto the television telling us that we're gonna be okay, and enjoy the freaking show. I mean, it's only our lives spiraling out of control, right.

P/S;
I know you may not feel this way ever ever again, but I need you to understand that I feel like everything bad that has ever happened to you feels like my doing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry for ruining any potential relationship. I'm sorry for being that girl. I'm sorry for weighing you down for so long. I'm sorry for hurting you the horrible way I know I did. I'm sorry for forgetting to tell you just how much you mean to me, regardless of the fact that I could never, ever do it justice in words. I'm sorry for not listening to you when I know you had something important to say, like, "I love you." I'm sorry for being such a nasty bitch when we fought, or when I was just plainly upset. I'm sorry for pretending like there was nothing wrong whenever you asked. I'm sorry for asking you too many questions. I'm sorry for thinking that I never meant anything to you. I'm sorry for those shitty things I said. I'm sorry for throwing your heart and everything else back in your face. I'm sorry for holding you back those five months, when you could've been with someone you truly deserved you. I'm sorry for never letting you go. I'm sorry for not being able to let you go now. I'm sorry for breaking your heart.

I'm just so damn sorry.

But, there will never be a single second in my life that I will ever regret knowing you. Not even one bit.
I'm not just saying this because I think its what you want to hear, I'm saying this, just because I need you to understand. I'm over you. But there will always be that part of me, wondering how your day went.
So, be happy. Smile.
We both know how much you deserve it.