They say, old habits die hard.
They were right.

I stopped, i knew i did.
But lately, nothing feels better than falling back into my comfort zone.
Dangerous as it seems, it's the best thing ive done all year.
Yet, it reminds me so much of the shit i went through last year, and the year before that.

This year, ive been trying so hard, to morph into that person that everyone expects me to be.
Tired of always disappointing people, i decided to do some good for them.
Only for everything ive pushed aside for so long, to pile up on me, three times worse.
I thought i left all this behind, with that morethanfuckedup chick, that i promised i would never be again.

Changing was harder than i thought it would be, escaping everything that i thought was good for me.
But, i soon forgot.
Is this some sort of way to remind me, of everything that i went through ?
I always say; I dont want to forget, cos i want that past.
But, now i realise, it wouldve been so much easier to just let go, and forget.

I contemplated going back, so many times.
But always had my better judgement take over.
It was this way for the longest time.
Till today.

;You wont get better,
till youre worse, yea you.