Hi. I hate men.
Like seriously, who do they think they are to treat people the way they do ?
Okay maybe its not people, its just me.

I was thinking about it last night, and i had this really stupid pointless epiphany that i would've lived longer and happier without. I'm the reasons my relationships fuck up.
Honestly, i think its me.I would've had so many potential relationships.and i realised i fucked them up in one way or another.whether it was something i said, that started a fight, or maybe how i take advantage of the fact that they'll always be there for me to fall back on. i knew sooner or later they'd get sick of it, i just hoped it was always later.And I've said this so many fucking times, i know, but i just don't know how to deal with this. how all that hate just keeps pouring into me, and theres no exit. And i just don't know how to stop.All the while, i succumbed to my shortcomings and human frailties, when i shouldve just said NO.Enough is never enough for me. I just keep asking for more. Heartbreak after heartbreak and i never learn not to love sweet talk. But i never learn. How many times have i been through this ? I wouldn't have enough fingers and toes to count.Things haven't been looking up lately, Ive been in the same wreck for a very long time.People keep trying to convince me, that its not my fault. But i know better, somehow.i guess its cos i hardly ever know what i want. and that's not exactly a good thing. I wish i could be like those girls who know exactly what they want, get it and stick with it for AGES. but i could never be like that. makes me wonder if I'll ever even get married. and honestly that's a very scary thought. i wanna be married.I need affection, and I'm getting none. And its my fault. Im honestly geting used to it now.I despise this.

I need to rip apart my heart, rip apart my veins, and search under my skin for this hate generator. Cos its killing me.